Son won’t go to school in the mornings

[MyLittlePoniess]

My son won’t get up or go to school in the mornings without being constantly nagged, it’s affecting everything, making me late for school with my other kids and making me
late for work. Has anyone been in this situation? I’m at the end of my tether

Does he say why? Does he go in later on as that might point to avoiding something specific in the morning like form or assembly? Avoiding bullies on the way to school?

Is he up all night? Remove any devices? Tell school? Ask if he’s ok when he’s there. How well is he doing at school? Can a friend “collect” him?

Not up all night and no friends to collect he just doesn’t like school, never has

Doesn’t like school never has , not being bullied

How old? Do you have to take him to school or does he get there himself?

I sympathise my son was exactly the same. It wasn't that he didn't like school it was because he didn't sleep at night time. His body clock was out of sync . It was in the days before social media so it wasn't that. He just couldn't sleep at night time.and nothing worked
I was lucky that he was the youngest so I didn't have anyone else to get to school and I worked flexitime so I could wait until I eventually got him out of bed. Although I had a lot of stress when he has late starting exams as I worried he would sleep in all day.. apparently it's part of the teenage brain.
He is an adult now and of course has to get himself up and out of the house but I think he still struggles to sleep at night sometimes

He is 12, no I don’t take him but I can’t leave him to go as he wouldn’t go

He does have trouble sleeping but not due to devices either he has them taken at night

Hi Op

so - I think it depends on the wider context

FOr example - my 11 year old is autistic and really can't cope with the normal school day. She is on a reduced timetable and goes in late - but that is after years of struggles (and she still barely goes in - and we have an EHCP etc)

my son is not Neurodiverse but finds getting up hard - and will stay in bed unless I shove him out!! I do feel for him as he is not a morning person but in the longer run I have to be harsh on him really as otherwise he just would not get up - and that's the way school works.

Do you think your son is finding school overall difficult?

Thank you yes he has always had problems with school but that’s primary and secondary it just doesn’t change but there is not much I can do. He won’t go and it’s affecting my other children.

He is getting constant detentions for being late which also makes it’s worse and he refuses to go to them.

Have you read into EBSA?

What have you tried so far? I’m another parent of an ESBNA child so I’m not judging just wondering what you’ve done so far.

Yes I’ve heard of it but it doesn’t change anything he needs to go to school.

All you can do is get him up earlier and keep supporting his attendance.

Speak to school and consider support from the GP if there are mental health reasons.

Yes I am trying to get him up earlier but he goes back to bed, I have myself and other children to get ready so I can’t stand and watch him even if I do and he gets dressed as soon as I leave he is back to bed. No mental health reasons.

He is telling you something, through this behavior. He can no longer cope with school. My daughter crumbled in y8 after being diagnosed with ADHD age 9.
please don't force him- it will have the complete opposite effect and could cause serious mental distress.
contact the GP TODAY and explain his symptoms. Highly likely to be ASD/ ADHD.
listen to what he is trying to tell you trough this behaviour. Take the pressures off him for a bit and he will open upto you xx

No he doesn’t have special needs and if he doesn’t go to school I get fined.

I’m already being threatened with 2500 fine

Or, maybe he's just being a typical teenager pushing boundaries because he can see that his mum can't force boundaries and he's learnt that he can do as he wants.

Rude much? He doesn’t do what he wants, he goes to school but that’s not without constant nagging, id never let him just not go so no need for your rudeness!

I don't that poster was being rude- just direct. Have you explained to him how much the fines are? Then removed all tech permanently unless he attends? What consequences does he face for not attending? It sounds like a pattern of behaviour if he was like that in primary school too. Have you asked the school pastoral team for support or ideas?
It's good that you are acknowledging it is a problem. Hopefully you'll get some suggestions on here to try

I had this with my son. It turned out to be anxiety but we didn't find out in time to do anything about it for school.

Is there another adult on the scene

Thank you, yeah that could be it he has always hated going