Teens still want to come everywhere with me

[CatsandRats]

I know I’m unusual here but does anyone’s teens want to come absolutely everywhere with them? Can’t even nip to the shops alone. I know it’s nice but it’s also quite suffocating. I know probably no one has this issue as everyone tells me there kids don’t want to be seen dead with them anymore so I should feel happy but it can also be quite tricky having to take them everywhere I go. (They do have some mild Sen but perfectly capable being left alone)

Mine does. It is a little suffocating but it's also wonderful. I'll miss it dreadfully when it stops.

So do mine and they are 21 and 25.

My dd was like this and it felt suffocating, she recently turned 18 and she doesn’t come places with me as often now and I really miss it.
Enjoy it while you can

I actually miss ds14 doing this! He opts to stay home now.

I loved it when mine were teens.. loved it when in their 20s and 30s and still love it .. we go see shows together.. shopping etc.. they live near me and if one is visiting and l say I'm just popping to local shop.. they will come with me.

Yes!
DS1 is nearly 14, mild SEN (forgive me if not the correct term but best way to describe it) but he will happily join me anywhere and everywhere.

He can stay home alone for short periods,no probs at school etc.but just seems to either genuinely enjoy/rely on my company and does like updates on when I'll be back,who I'm with on the very rare occasions I do go out.

It can be a bit suffocating,he refuses to go to his father's (can't say I blame him lol) so he is with me constantly as I WFH too and schoom finishes at 2pm here.

No advice but solidarity!

It’s nice but it’s also tough trying to nip to the shops and having to take 4 kids with me 😕 whilst I’m grateful they still want to come everywhere I need to get something urgently today but youngest is sick and not one of my 3 teenagers want to stay home so I can’t get it

Sounds like anxiety driven behaviour op?

Possibly but I think it’s related to their sen

Both mine are still a lot like this! 21 and 17 now, eldest is ND, youngest is NT but both are the same

What? You can't have that, seriously...

If mine were those ages and still wanted to come everywhere with me, to the corner shop, walk the dog, post a letter, nip to Sainsbury’s, I’d be pulling my hair out 🤣

Yes! 17 and 16 here and love to come with me everywhere. They are early birds too, so I don’t even get peace on weekend mornings.
My friends dc’s sleep in until 1-2pm and then want to relax around the house.

I know I should be flattered and enjoy this time, but like a pp said it can be suffocating

Oh I’d love this. It doesn’t last forever and you’ll miss it when it stops.

What would happen if you said no now and left the house without any of them?

They’d be upset and anxious and the general consensus is they are only old enough to leave home alone if they are happy and comfortable.

Yes and I find it really hard. I have two teen girls with ASD and one of them is more clingy now than when she was a toddler. I find it very suffocating. They also both refuse to organise their own social life. I love them both but when I was a teen I was out and about all the time and never wanted to hang out with my parents. Somewhere in between the two would be nice 😆

A school friend had this with her daughters. Was very annoying. Every catch up always there!

I think that only applies to a certain age though? I mean if you say you have four teens, then the oldest must be maybe 17? That’s quite old enough to be left home for a short time. By that logic if they are not happy being left home alone aged 20 then are you still dragging them along to the shops with you?

Thank you! I’m glad someone understands, I do get people saying “enjoy it” but it’s not the simple, it’s hard work and it means never getting a single second to myself, when I was about 11 I wouldn’t have been seen dead with my mum so I wasn’t expecting this, it’s one thing wanting to come on days out and that I would be grateful they still want to do days out but it’s just nipping anywhere, it also means it takes absolutely ages to go anywhere as I have to wait for them all to get ready or their wanting to buy stuff which becomes expensive, if they found out I went somewhere without them they’d be upset.

I know where you are coming from.
However if you think they are capable, I think maybe your New Year's Resolution should maybe to push them a bit on this for developing their own independence skills.
Start with 5-10mins and build up.
Do they have EHCPs? The elder ones at least should have building independence skills on their targets.

3 teens and they are 15 13 and 12 youngest is not a teen but to young to be left alone and I think there is a difference if the children have Sen and leaving them alone

I totally understand and sympathise. I also did not expect it at this stage and am finding it hard to adjust my expectations. I know that I am their safe place but that can also be exhausting. I am very introverted and really struggle with having to be with people all the time, even my own children. I also fear that they will never be able to live without me.

My eldest is 17 and is a little bit like this. He doesn’t go everywhere with me but more than the average teenager I would say. Most of the time I don’t mind or am happy to have his company. We get along well. Occasionally I wish he wouldn’t because it’s more of a faff and sometimes I want to linger around particular stuff in the shops and he gets fed up. He has ASD and I think he’s struggling a little with friendships at the moment. His 13yo brother has OCD and barely leaves the house. He hasn’t attended school for over a year. I would love him to tag along with me and really long for that day to come.

sounds like you pander to their comfort and emotions too much.
Just say you are popping out and will be back in an hour. And go. SO they might be uncomfortable but they won't burn the house down.