How much monthly allowance do you give your teenager?

[mismomary]

Our eldest DD is 17 and in sixth form. Last year we started her on a monthly allowance but it's not working. She's really down about money, says she hasn't enough to buy Christmas presents for friends or clothes. We give her £80pm and pay for phone, gym, and basic toiletries. (Rule is if Tesco stock it she can have it). Clothes I buy the basics.

She's been trying to get a job but struggling, has applied to local pubs and supermarkets etc.

I'm starting to think we have got this allowance totally wrong and she should be on more like £200pm or more. We can easily afford this but don't want to be over generous as want her to learn to budget and value money etc But perhaps we've gone too far the other way.

I'd be grateful to know what you give. Maybe we are way off!!

I think the mentality of “You’re earning now, off you trot” is so insensitive to the hard working but badly paid young people, especially with high rents and CoL today.

DC1 is officially earning now but we still helped set them up with rent deposit, 2nd hand car, tax, insurance, professional insurance etc etc in the first year plus €500 a month for the foreseeable.

We can afford it but hope it won’t be for much longer. DC now works extra shifts to save up for a holiday (first since leaving home) and other “nice to have” things.

But why would you wish soul-destroying poverty and a reduced lifestyle on your own child who’s working hard and diligently for their future, just because they’re 18+ and have a starter salary???

I know “It never did me any harm…”

My teens get £20 a week but this is just fun money or saving for something extravagant. I buy all clothes, toiletries, gifts for friends, phone, gym, make-up, etc on top.

My teens also earn a fortune babysitting. At this time of the year they can make up to £400 a month from that.

If you can comfortably afford to give your DD a bit more money then do so. Why make her life deliberately harder than need be? There are 2 ways to do it. 1. You continue to pay for basic clothes, uniform, haircuts, toiletries, gym membership, phone SIM and sports plus give a smaller allowance of £80-100 per month. Or you give £160-175 per month but they pay for everything themselves. I have always started off with method 1 then once I see they are managing money sensibly I have a chat to them and move them over to method 2 if they want to do so. Youngest DC wanted to stay on method 1 longer. All now sensible adults who manage their finances responsibly with mortgages to budget for.

16 year old in Y12 at college in London. She gets £20 a week plus we pay her phone and season ticket. She does earn extra from bits of babysitting and other stuff.

Also earns a very decent amount from professional work, but that is all banked and she can't touch it until she's 18. I don't want her having more money than her friends, or getting used to having lots of spare cash when she has no responsibilities (bills/rent etc).

She struggled to get a job in a pub? My son (who I love but can be honest about) could barely hold a conversation, he grunted, didn’t smile and couldn’t make conversation but managed to get a job in a pub especially at this time of year. I wouldn’t be giving a 17 year old any money. I used to drive him to and from work, pay for his food, phone and toiletries but I wouldn’t be giving her anymore. What is the incentive to find a PT job if she can afford everything she needs? Just my personal opinion obviously. My son only improved his communication skills once working. It’s important not just for money, it teaches you to how to deal with an employer, how holiday entitlement works, how to manage your money, about NI contributions etc.

To be honest I don’t know where some of the people commenting live 😂 no one in my friendship circle got an allowance at 17! We were all working some sort of job. Same for my eldest daughter and all her friends (now 25) they all worked in retail or as waiting staff on weekends.

My 16 year old has a job in a newsagents, she’s on a level 3 full time course at college though the hours aren’t full time (think this is because she passed maths and English so she has more time than others) she earns around £500 per month. She saves £150 for driving, pays her sim only contract and has the rest to spend how she wishes. I only buy essentials now like tampons and deodorant, she gets everything else herself. she is a little high maintenance for her age (think hair extensions/nails and nice clothes/trainers) and buys this herself which is good.
she’ll need to reign it in when she has car insurance to pay!

That's fine if you live in a city or a big town, but if you are in the back end of nowhere with zero public transport it's not that easy.

I think you’re being very generous!

My teenage girls (almost 18 and 17) get £25 a month allowance. This is what they use to buy clothes or makeup. I only buy PJs, undies and school uniform/shoes/trainers. We also buy toiletries.

The eldest works 4.5hrs one day a week at a local cafe, earning between £110-£130 a month (depending on how many weekends in the month). She buys most of her clothes on Vinted or in sales and also manages to save regularly. If she wants something she can’t afford then she saves up for it. We also pay for phone bills. They all go to private school so lots of their friends/peers have the latest designer stuff, new phones etc but they don’t feel pressurised to ‘keep up’ and really aren’t bothered. They also know that most of our disposable income goes on their school fees. Lots of their socialising is done with our friends - there’s a big gang of us and the kids are all at school together so we go out to each others’ houses. The kids are in and out of each others’ houses so they don’t really need to go and socialise at places they’d need to pay money to go to.

Middle daughter also works at the cafe, 2 hours a week. She supplements her income by live-in nannying during school holidays (12 hour days) for a friend of ours down south. She also has regular babysitting clients locally each week. She has quite a lot of disposable income! I reckon in a month she probably averages about £280 a month income, plus what we give her. She also buys a lot of clothes on Vinted and will sell some too.

My three children all do their own laundry and have to clean their own rooms and bathrooms. They also have chores to do each week. All the chores go into a pot and all 5 of us pick out 6 or 7 jobs, crank up the music and spend about 45 mins doing this together. There is much moaning from the kids but it means everyone is pulling their weight and the house is nice and clean for the week ahead. They don’t get paid for doing these jobs. We all make the mess so we all clean it up!

£80 per month, given you pay for all the other things, seems ok to me. We give our 15 year old £40 per month and pay for similar things as you (phone, toiletries - basic!, and all food, clothes). Her friend group do a secret Santa and save up £20. So everyone gets one generous gift rather than several smaller gifts, they love a bargain and charity shop hunts. They manage

Our DS get £250 month but that’s because he’s living away at Uni (and we saved £200 a month immediately on our grocery bill when he moved out!)

Eldest 16 gets £50 a month but I pay for his termly bus pass, hair cuts, phone, gym and essential clothes and footwear. Youngest 13 gets £20 a month.

I think it depends on what lifestyle you live yourself to some degree.

The way I see it, if you’re not struggling financially, then the kids shouldn’t be either (within reason of course).

But if you’re watching every penny that goes out of the door every month then the kids need to earn their own money and contribute towards their costs.

I give £1 for each year of age.
so my 17 year old gets £17 a week and 12 year old gets £12 a week. Of that 80% goes into their spends and 20% automatically goes into a savings pot.

we pay for phones, needed clothes and anything else. They pay for going out with friends, games, extra clothes shoes etc. we also give £10 a week to get a snack at school during morning break and £10 a week to buy something from shop on way to school

I think at 17 she should be working. Keep applying. Apply everywhere. Follow-up.
School is a priority, of course, but it is an invaluable skill to learn sooner, rather than later regardless of your financial situation, OP.
Allowance can be spent however she lines, of course, but if she wants to spend money on her friends she should earn that money.

It’s exactly the situation that I’m in. We can’t get anywhere by public transport. When I couldn’t take my son to his cleaning job he got an Uber, another lesson on money IMO. Passed his driving test pretty quickly when he realised that Ubers aren’t cost effective.

Totally agree. It is completely absurd to me that the OP’s daughter feels she should be able to go on nights out with friends and her boyfriend and buy Christmas presents for them without earning any money. I know it’s harder now because I’ve two older children but this time of year they’re crying out for people. There so much more to working than just the money, you have to get used to advocating for yourself in the workplace otherwise you are so naive you will put up with anything.

Pretty much impossible to get pub job where I am if you are under 18. Hospitality trade is doing badly, they need staff who can serve customers, work late, etc, which 16 year olds can't do.

I would give allowance to teens in a similar way to jobseekers allowance. If they are trying to get a job I would sub them even if they were not successful.
My DC have so many friends who can't get jobs, it's surprises me that it's so easy wherever it is other posters live.

That's great that you could afford driving lessons, a car, insurance etc etc. Not everyone is in that position.

Plus 16 year olds can't drive, and when you live rurally they tend not to get home from college till after 7pm when the nearest one doing their course is over 90 minutes and they don't finish till 5.30pm.

In my DD's case, we knew that when we moved here, hence it seems fair that she has an allowance. It's already harder to have a social life than most of her friends.

My teens didn’t/don’t get anything formal, lunch money whilst in school/college plus I bought essentials if they said they needed them. I do still buy them some clothes occasionally as I like to, but they’ve both had jobs since age 14. Hospitality mainly but dd also does horse riding for others. They both saved enough to buy their own cars ( we paid for driving lessons and their insurance)and run them. Ds is in college, dd in uni (commuting from home ) , they pay for their own social lives, holidays , clothes etc, and dd (20) has also invested the full amount in her lifetime isa each year since she turned 18. Our kids are privileged in many ways but they don’t get handouts. Maybe we are lucky to be in a tourist area so plenty of casual jobs for those who want them, but they both found their own jobs, telephoned local pub/hotel. Encourage her to be proactive, call in person and ask, most employers like initiative and are pleased to meet the person not the CV.

Oh and we also live very rurally, no buses here. Lots of dropping off and collecting late at night to begin with for us. Lucky kids that we could fund driving lessons for them, now they are independent, both from age 17, but it was important to us that they earned their way so we were prepared to facilitate jobs until that point.

We paid our daughter £40 per week, so double, although she also had a job and saved a lot. Now she is at Uni, we have gone pretty low on the monthly allowance as we want her to think about what she’s spending. Most of her friends get much more than we’re giving but we’re comfortable with it. She also just got a job at uni which helps. We could afford to completely bankroll her but it won’t help her in the long run. I want to teach her that she needs to make decisions - clubbing or eating!

It’s important that teens have an appropriate allowance. The last thing you want is for them to be shoplifting, evading fares or borrowing from friends and not paying back because they don’t have an adequate and appropriate allowance.

Lots of supermarkets don’t take under 18s. I started in one at 16 and then shortly thereafter they stopped hiring under 18s, so I was the youngest employee for ages! Agree it very much depends on local area and availability/ flexibility with studies.

At 16 my son got £25 a month, we paid for a lot of things for him. He got a job which pays £50-£200 a month depending on how many shifts are available. (Zero hours) This job give him free gym membership.
Hes 17 now, for as long as hes in full time education we will buy clothes and toiletries he needs but not what he wants, luckily he uses vinted a lot!
We still pay £25 a month but into his savings account not his current accout on the condition he also pays in 15% of what he earns in a month.
Seems to work, we'll help him out if he has a quiet month at work.