How much monthly allowance do you give your teenager?

[mismomary]

Our eldest DD is 17 and in sixth form. Last year we started her on a monthly allowance but it's not working. She's really down about money, says she hasn't enough to buy Christmas presents for friends or clothes. We give her £80pm and pay for phone, gym, and basic toiletries. (Rule is if Tesco stock it she can have it). Clothes I buy the basics.

She's been trying to get a job but struggling, has applied to local pubs and supermarkets etc.

I'm starting to think we have got this allowance totally wrong and she should be on more like £200pm or more. We can easily afford this but don't want to be over generous as want her to learn to budget and value money etc But perhaps we've gone too far the other way.

I'd be grateful to know what you give. Maybe we are way off!!

DD is 17 and gets £30pw which is the CM that her father pays to me. I pay for her mobile and all toiletries and essential clothing. I pay for meals while at college, and transport that isn't covered by her student pass. I pay for singing lessons and will have to pay for driving lessons if she starts.

She has tried getting a job but no success, plus lack of public transport on a Sunday makes it difficult. (supermarkets mentioned above are a 40 mile round trip by car, and not easy to get to on public transport as most are out of town. Last bus home is 6pm, last train is 9pm, no bus on Sunday, it makes it hard to get an evening job).

She has applied for over 100 positions in the past year in retail or hospitality, and got 1 interview at McD's and didn't get the job. There are also thousands of Uni and College students all going for the same jobs. It is not that simple to just get a job. She is not the only one.

She can do a few hours for me a week in my business. I also pay her to do some cleaning work for me, rather than pay a separate cleaner. She also volunteers at the Library, so is gaining experience and it looks good on a CV/UCAS application.

DD has managed to build up savings of £500 from her weekly allowance. Initially she blew the lot, but when the novelty wore off, she started to save it.

None of our DC get an allowance. The teens earn a bit of money here and there from helping out with groups they attended when younger. They commute to college and have college commitments at least 2 out of 4 weekends, so no jobs.

They have their own bank cards for their accounts, and access to our joint account. We trust them with that and pay for everything. They never take advantage of it.

We talk to them about finances all the time, explain how we budget, talk to them about the importance of savings etc. We expect them to split the money they have between fun stuff, and holding some back for more important things. They've been gifted sums of money, and are always sensible with it.

We've asked them if they'd rather switch to having an allowance, but they're happy with what we do now.

If you can afford £200 per month then give it to her.
A cake and coffee in Costa with her mates is £10- that’s half her weekly allowance.
I also don’t understand the ‘YOU MUST EARN IT’brigade.
If she’s helping out round the house, keeping her room tidy and is polite and respectful , plus working hard at college then that’s enough for me.
My daughter got £80 per month 4 years ago at 14 - there’s no way £80 is enough for an 18 yr old now. Everything is so expensive.
There’s a line between ‘I can’t afford it’ and ‘I don’t have to worry about money’ for teenagers .
As parents we can only strive to be better then our own parents were, there’s no book and every child is different.
I would like to think my daughter would say to her children (if she has any) ‘My mum was fair but generous with me, I always had enough to go out with my friends’
I don’t think you can put a value on young people socialising and building relationships - especially when they were locked in their homes for months on end not seeing their mates at such an important time in their lives.

Jobs maybe hard to come by but surely in the run up to Xmas babysitting would be an obvious option? My DS gets £10 an hour for babysitting usually fairly easy money usually.

Things are expensive but if she wants more money I’d also hope she’s help more at home. I still buy presents on behalf of my DC, clothes and their pocket money is for going out and travel etc.

That won’t cover much these days. I would up it to £200 a month and see how she goes. You can work on the budgeting with her. If she has leftover she can save.

My parents were well off but very mean with money when I was growing up. As a teen and at uni I was always skint and my part time job didn’t cover everything I needed. It was awful. Whenever I asked for more it was just embarrassing because of the response and I don’t think it made me better about handling money either so the “lesson” was lost on me! It took years to settle and be more sensible.

DHs parents were the opposite- didn’t spoil him but were practical and made sure he had what he needed to cover life as a student. I’m aiming for that approach with my DC - a sensible middle ground. Having nothing and being miserable about it isn’t a badge of honour.

My son is in year 13. He got £50 per month before he finally managed to grt a job in the March of year 12. And that was plenty for him as I bought all clothes, toiletries etc. It is so hard for sixth formers to find a job these days, his girlfriend took a year to find one.

£5 a week! She gets two expensive clubs and music lessons paid for, internet is only on her phone via WiFi but we pay for credit for calls and texts. She got £250 for clothes, shoes and coat when she started 6th form with instructions to use Vinted. She had a job in summer but takes sport seriously so no time in term time. Constantly being at sport keeps her spending down! We pay for her train pass for college, textbooks and basic toiletries.

No allowance when I was 17 and at college, part time job from the age of 13. But it is hard out there for children now, so many traditional jobs of shop/cafe work for students are falling because shops are closing.
I'd keep with the budget you have but perhaps give her top ups when she needs extra books or whatever or like now, a bit more for Xmas presents. Perhaps could wash the cars or something extra - my older brothers used to pay me to do theirs. Easy money :-)

This was obviously in around 2015-2020/21, so £200/ month might be more realistic now.

They also had chores from a younger age, so it wasn't tied to their allowance, just part of what you do in a family.

We paid for their phone sim contracts and they had our 2 year old phones.
One decided at 17 that they wanted an iphone, we originally said no, but came up with a solution, which would mean she'd have to budget for it.

We agreed to compromise and buy one on the understanding that she paid the cost of it back to us over the course of 18 months out of her allowance, which she did.

This is all really interesting to read. DS is only 9, so it’s not a conversation we’re having yet, although we’ve done a lot of financial education with him.

Back in my day, I got nothing from age 13, got an evening and Saturday job at 15, at which point parents started also giving me £10 a month. I could walk everywhere, and I bought clothes in charity shops. It’s left me with quite a bit of insecurity around money, although I am extremely good at making my cash work hard for me.

My 16yr old gets nothing but I pay for his phone, Railcard, clothes he needs, uniform, bus pass, toiletries. Everything else is a Christmas or birthday present. I know it's hard to find work but my lad printed off lots of little business cards at home and is now the go-to person of the village for pet sitting, dog walking, gardening, babysitting and general labour. He's minted! Helps that it's a small village.
If you're covering what she needs maybe help her think about how to do presents on a budget. Charity shop finds, homemade sweets and cosmetics, crafted items.

Ds15 gets £30 per week. He needs to vacuum and mop all the floors once a week.

Mine had a 100 a month but I bought all clothes, essentials, phone, gym, cinema pass and would too up for special occasions- both mine had jobs at 17 too, whilst in 6th form. 80 isn’t much when you don’t buy all clothes or anything ‘not in tesco!’. Mine did jobs round the house while looking for a job.

I think give more than £80, agree 20£ a week doesn’t go far if she’s meeting friends etc! but she does need to learn to budget and work to top up her allowance. Chore list to be completed / role in housekeeping or cooking weekly etc.
Anyone you know have a small business where she could work a few hours a month??
Better there than in a pub etc. Xo

That poster seems to be pursuing a very narrow line about part time jobs and not wanting to consider the possibility of other reasons. The employment market in some areas for jobs a lot of us would’ve walked into as teens can be difficult. As someone else said, this might be a result of the gig economy. Maybe with people in more straitened economic circumstances, more experienced older candidates are taking more entry level roles to get by. Maybe more people are taking a second job in the evening. I would imagine that businesses have cut down on staffing as far as possible as well. I honestly don’t know but I think all these things have probably contributed.

I remember walking into bars and cafes and asking for work until I got it - and I was never jobless and usually got something on the same day! I wonder if teens still typically do that today or if everything is online initially.

This sounds like a good education for him, putting himself out there and being motivated etc. Well done Xo

I think as you can afford it and she has tried unsuccessfully for a job, it would be good to give more. We worked out £130 per month to be about right for my ds who is 17. This pays for all clothes, haircuts, Christmas presents he buys, shoes, fun money, etc. We also pay gym and phone, and things like basic toiletries. He has now got a part time job as well, so is feeling quite well off, but he does cook for us once a week and is paying halves for driving lessons and insurance on a car.
We are lucky we can afford this, I'm not suggesting all families can by any means. I wanted him to be able to give up the part time job if he needed to nearer exams. The workload is quite tough IMO. And for him to have independence to do things like go to festivals, trips with friends, buy a nice branded pair of trainers occasionally, etc without asking for handouts. Your dd may 'need' more than the average boy as haircuts are more expensive, make up and skincare etc.
He messed up the first month or two and ran out quickly but it was a learning curve!

I gave her £200 but she had to budget to pay her phone, Spotify and monthly train pass for college from it so that left her around £25 a week to spend on rubbish

I think it’s really hard to get the balance right between spoiling them and giving them enough. We give dd18 £250 a month to cover lunch, buses and incidental expenses, I pay her phone, buy essential clothes and toiletries and will occasionally bung her a bit extra if she wants something and I can afford it. Her transport is £24 a week to get to college and back. She also has a job, but it’s only a few hours a week.

Both our DD's had to get jobs, we used to pay for most things phones etc. however if they wanted to clothes, make up etc. they had to earn it.

80quid isn't a lot for someone in college these days, if you can afford more. Amongst my daughters friends (also 17) there's a real mix of allowances and jobs. Some get 50quid a week, some get 20 and some get nothing :( my daughter doesn't have a job yet but lots of them do 4 or 5 evening shifts in the supermarket or fish and chip shop.

Forgot to say mine top up their money by selling their old clothes on vinted. It’s quite enterprising & they get satisfaction from getting money into their accounts. Waste not want not!

I'm definitely too poor for mumsnet 😂

I grew up in various levels of poverty for most of my childhood, am solidly working class, one pay away from disaster, and the 17 year olds of parents on here have more disposable income than I've ever had in my life. How the other half live, as they say!

It’s not disposable if it’s for public transport though is it?
I mean my parents used to give me £20 a week, then I had to buy my weekly bus ticket to school for £17.50 from that.. leaving a grand fortune of £2.50.

My daughter has been asking to join the gym for ages and still has two years to go before she's even old enough to join the local one. It's a consistent ask so she must be getting it from somewhere, possibly from the older kids in her main activity who seem to cross-train once they hit the teens. It seems an entirely voluntary thing!