How much monthly allowance do you give your teenager?

[mismomary]

Our eldest DD is 17 and in sixth form. Last year we started her on a monthly allowance but it's not working. She's really down about money, says she hasn't enough to buy Christmas presents for friends or clothes. We give her £80pm and pay for phone, gym, and basic toiletries. (Rule is if Tesco stock it she can have it). Clothes I buy the basics.

She's been trying to get a job but struggling, has applied to local pubs and supermarkets etc.

I'm starting to think we have got this allowance totally wrong and she should be on more like £200pm or more. We can easily afford this but don't want to be over generous as want her to learn to budget and value money etc But perhaps we've gone too far the other way.

I'd be grateful to know what you give. Maybe we are way off!!

17 year old son gets given £25 a week, we pay for phone, gym, gaming subscriptions, toiletries, school lunches, football season tickets, away games and travel and pretty much buy all his clothes.

He has just started some work that pays a small amount per month as well. I also just paid for most of his girlfriend's birthday presents as he was skint.

It's a world away from when I was his age.

Mine are adults now but we gave £100 a month when they were 11-13, £300 a month from 14-16 and £500 a month in sixth form. However, the expectation was that they would save a lot of this - it wasn’t just for spending.

We didn't.

They both had jobs by the age of 15, both while at school.
Now in their 30's so not decades ago.

Not only did they earn their own money they realised how much longer it took to earn than to spend, so they no longer wasted it all on the ' I wants' but would by the needs, and it also taught them to save.

We still paid for their everyday needs.

You've surely got to realise that those are not even remotely realistic amounts for many working families?

I give my dc £50 every four weeks and my mum gives them £20 on the same day. Also pay for phone, clothes and gym. My 16 year old earns around £150 monthly in his part time job and doesn’t spend much so he’s doing ok but my 14 year old is very social and out and about a lot and he seems to be short of money sometimes so I probably need to have a look at that as he isn’t old enough to have a job yet.

My daughter is 16, but lower sixth. Until recently I gave her £40 pm + paid for phone contract. I’d buy basic essentials and shed have to put to ‘nicer’ stuff. She’s since got a job paying about £400 per month for what she’s doing so she’s not getting an allowance now but I still pay for her phone contract.
We got her a job by doing the old fashioned thing of direct approaches with local companies and eventually hit gold. She had no luck with traditional applications after advertisements.

I think I gave DD about £10/week (maybe 20) but I paid for everything else, that was sort of just extra money if she wanted to go somewhere with friends.

Then when she turned 16 she got a job - I kept paying for transport, phone etc and that was her fun money. Then at 18 she started paying for her transport and phone.

I wouldn’t have had £200 spare to give her, that sounds like a lot (to me).

My 17yo gets £100 on his Monzo card when he needs it. I pay for all travel, clothes, haircuts, phones, etc. The £100 pays for his school lunches if he doesn’t want to take a sandwich, cinema tickets, and fun money. I top it up when it gets low - prob about every 3-4- weeks. He does his own laundry and I’m trying to get him to do the dishwasher for £50 a month more, but so far he’s resisting!

£80 a month is fine but I don't think it should include clothes unless there's something specific she wants to save for.

I must be the worst mother on here. My 17 year old doesn't get pocket money. And I expect her to do chores, unpaid, around the house because she's part of the household, why would I pay her? We buy her bus pass because she needs that for college so can use it to go to town to meet her cousin or friends. We also bought her a rail card too for when she goes to visit a different cousin or her friend that lives in another city. She doesn't go out often though as she's pretty unsociable. She takes lunch from home for college, her choice. She never buys clothes unless I take her somewhere, with her cousin, and force her to go and buy something specific. She also doesn't wear make up, I had to buy her some moisturiser and regularly remind her to use it! I usually give her £20 or £40 depending on where's she's going for her lunch if she's going to town or the other city. She saves her birthday and Christmas money, because she never wants anything, and buys presents mostly from that, although if she wants something off Amazon for a friend, probably twice this year, I send off for it for her and don't ask for it back, but it's never anything expensive.

But she's an odd child so probably not the norm... 😂

14 DD gets £90 but that includes clothes. We pay essentials and mobile phone, shoes, transport, coats.school lunches are separate. We also pay for haircut

Looking at this seems like it is on the tight end.

DD18 has a job so doesn’t get anything.

£100 a month at 11 years old made my heart freeze for a second. My daughter is 10 and gets £3 per week 😆

Wow - ours get a tenner a week! They’re A level age now and they’ve been getting this since they were 12 or so, maybe i need to adjust my figures…They have, or rather had part time jobs but thats pretty much stopped since the minimum wage/NI changes. It’s really hard to find a PT job for them these days.
We pay for phone/haircuts/food etc though.

You’re giving her plenty! I have a daughter the same age and we give her less than that (like you we also pay for phone, basic toiletries and basic clothes, as well as driving lessons). If your daughter is anything like mine then she’s far too generous in what she spends on friends’ gifts especially considering the limited “income” of a teenager without a job.

I’d get her to give you a detailed budget of what she’s spending the £80 on why she needs more - you might find out she’s spending £30 a month on iced lattes for example which she could easily cut down on.

Dd 16 doesn't get a set amount. I kept meaning to set it up to help her to learn to budget....then I actually needed the monthly money, I didn't have it spare to give to her for just in case.

We pay for her phone, bus ticket, toiletries etc.

If she was meeting up friends, I'd make sure she had money...they tend to mostly hang at at each other's home though.

She loves the thrill of charity shopping so would get a few hundred a year that gets her more than enough clothes for the year. I think I'm lucky really...that might only buy a few pairs of runners for some teenagers.

We get her shoes etc.

Just to give another side for all the other parents who don't have 80 spare quid.

Birthday gifts to friends would be small...e.g. 15-20 quid.

I lived in Europe at that age, so was able to go out to bars etc from being 16. I got 100 Euro a week from my parents, but had a list of chores to complete before it was paid. I also had to hold down a part time job as a prerequisite of not paying rent, clothes food etc, which paid 50 Euro a week.

DS had a job from 16 but we paid his phone, Spotify and travel. I also used to contribute if he was going out for a meal although he wouldn’t expect it and was always grateful. He also used to get pocket money from the grandparents.

I never got pocket money at any age, never saw the point and don't do it with my kids either. While they are children I buy their necessities etc... and when they are no long children they can pay for their own stuff with their own money or not have it just like adults have too.

I dont give my 17 year old anything money wise. He lives rent free in my house, uses electric, benefits from central heating, helps himself to food, can use household items like toothpaste, toilet roll, shampoo etc... but I'm not paying him on top of all that, hes not my employee. Hes got a bloody good ride.

Having a monthly contract phone and gym membership etc... aren't necessities they are luxuries many full grown adult can't afford. Kids now a days come to expect these luxuries as 'baseline lifestyle' that someone else will just magically pay for but thats not real life.

What’s he spending his £100 per month on if you’re paying for all his needs (and all his luxuries), to the point that he’s too skint to buy his girlfriend a present? That’s what I’d be asking him, rather than handing over more.

Apparently the average amount for her age in the UK is £23.97.
Assuming you don’t require her to use her allowance for anything necessary ie phone, hygiene/hair care products and it’s just her ‘spends’ for herself I don’t think that’s too bad.
We had a conversation recently with ours (who are younger) who told me all their friends were getting more allowance then they were…. I looked at the national average and I was actually giving very slightly more.
If you can afford to give more and you want to, up it to what you think is reasonable, however as a grown up when she has to stand on her own two feet it’s pretty normal not to have loads of money to spend just on yourself, I’d love to £80-£100 a month just to essentially treat myself with without having to think of using it for the children, food and bills!

When he turned 16, my ds got the family allowance and that was to cover day to day expenses etc. I paid for his phone, travel and would still pick up bits for him in Tesco. He got a job at 18, and then paid his own way and I didn’t give him anything until he went to uni at 19.

We have a Dunnes, Tesco, Aldi, Lidl a cinema and 2 hotels in walking distance and the 17 Yr old has applied for jobs in all of them and dozens of other places many times but can't find a job anywhere.
OP at this stage I just give them money on their card on a regular basis, some weeks its more than others eg last week they were in the school musical so there was grabbing food in town between rehearsals, matinee, shows and school, it ll be the same for their drama production at Easter. She's also v down about not having money for present shopping - she had gotten a job last year in December but meant missing school on occasion which can't happen this year, and she loved being able to pick me out a pair of earrings she knew I'd love

Mostly Nandos! They eat there once a week at the weekend or somewhere similar and each pays for their own food but he will spend about £20 on food. That pretty much eats it up, if you'll pardon the pun. He will sometimes pay for away games and travel and his food at the games until he's run out of money and then we pay.

Once ours were in sixth form we gave them £250pm. Obviously we fed them but everything else they had to buy including petrol in their car.