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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Anyone else’s teen hate school

69 replies

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 09:50

Anyone else’s teen (well preteen as he is only 11 but secondary school) hate school? I’m so exhausted with it all 😔 anyone else going through the same every morning is a battle

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2025 09:52

Presumably he's only a few weeks in?
Is it that he just hasn't settled yet, or are there specific things he hates?
Would it be better elsewhere or just the same?

Basketjumpertenfolds · 23/09/2025 09:55

Yes (although nearly done now) dc1 left school in 2020 and was a different person going to college. Dc3 is the same (although I think I've changed my attitude since dc1 and just go with its a means to an end). Dc3 is in sixth-form now (which i naively thought would be an improvement it isnt). No solutions just know your not the only one in this situation.

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:01

TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2025 09:52

Presumably he's only a few weeks in?
Is it that he just hasn't settled yet, or are there specific things he hates?
Would it be better elsewhere or just the same?

He’s never liked school since reception so unfortunately it is not that.

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2025 10:04

So what doesn't he like?
Is it the crowds, the pupils, the switching subjects, the unstructured free time, the being away from home, the rules, the teachers, the uniform?

Is there any SEN?

Would you or he consider home ed?

twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:07

Secondary school stage cam really intensify the hatred of school unfortunately. It's very common.

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:09

TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2025 10:04

So what doesn't he like?
Is it the crowds, the pupils, the switching subjects, the unstructured free time, the being away from home, the rules, the teachers, the uniform?

Is there any SEN?

Would you or he consider home ed?

It’s everything he hates he can’t say one thing he doesn’t hate as it’s everything. I won’t be home educating just wondered if anyone has a child the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:10

twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:07

Secondary school stage cam really intensify the hatred of school unfortunately. It's very common.

He was positive at first and I was hoping it was a fresh start but sadly not.

OP posts:
JoeySchoolOfActing · 23/09/2025 10:11

You're definitely not alone. All 3 of my DC have struggled with different things throughout their time at school.

They all got diagnosed ASD/ADHD in their teens.

Their school is supportive, we are lucky, but imo the school system does not suit a significant number of teens.

Solidarity to you, is incredibly hard to see your kids struggle like this, it impacts the whole family and can be very isolating.

Is he able to articulate what he doesn't like and have you spoken to school about it?

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:15

He doesn’t like anything about school, the teachers, the children, the learning, that it’s 6 hours, that it’s 5 days a week, he said he would be happier if he didn’t have to go as often but that isn’t possible.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:16

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:15

He doesn’t like anything about school, the teachers, the children, the learning, that it’s 6 hours, that it’s 5 days a week, he said he would be happier if he didn’t have to go as often but that isn’t possible.

Have you spoken to school about this?

Mischance · 23/09/2025 10:18

A friend's child hated school, so just did not go. As you can imagine there was all sorts of flip-flap from the authorities. She did do some work at home and got a few GCSEs then used these to get on the apprenticeship she had always wanted to do, so a happy ending.

School is not for everyone - some love it, some hate it. If only we could just accept this.

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:20

twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:16

Have you spoken to school about this?

Show quote history

I can’t get in contact with them they don’t respond to anything.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:21

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:20

I can’t get in contact with them they don’t respond to anything.

Show quote history

Sounds very strange. Ring the school and ask to speak to SENCO.

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:21

twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:21

Sounds very strange. Ring the school and ask to speak to SENCO.

Show quote history

I’ve already made a thread about this I have called them multiple times, left messages, emailed them and been down there and no one responds to me.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:22

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:21

I’ve already made a thread about this I have called them multiple times, left messages, emailed them and been down there and no one responds to me.

Show quote history

Then put a formal complaint in or move schools. What advice were you given on previous thread?

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:23

Didn’t get many responses, he doesn’t want to move schools he is the same at every school he hated primary, it isn’t the school, it’s all schools.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 23/09/2025 10:24

My ds hated secondary school... although he did enjoy primary. I think the social side and having friends was the only bit he liked. You said your ds doesn't like the other children?. Does he have any friends? Did he get on with the other kids in primary school?

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:29

No he has never had any friends and isn’t interested in making any

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2025 10:31

Any diagnosed or suspected SN?

Comedycook · 23/09/2025 10:32

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:29

No he has never had any friends and isn’t interested in making any

That sounds incredibly unusual to me...has he been assessed for any kind of neuro diversity?

twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:33

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:29

No he has never had any friends and isn’t interested in making any

That is highly unusual for any child. As others have said has he been assessed for ND?

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:36

His primary referred him at the end of year 6 after previously telling me he had no Sen as I questioned it years ago with how much he hates school. So that’s a long way off and I’m not sure it would change anything.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:37

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:36

His primary referred him at the end of year 6 after previously telling me he had no Sen as I questioned it years ago with how much he hates school. So that’s a long way off and I’m not sure it would change anything.

So he has been referred and the process has started ie on waiting list for assessment?

Original poster
HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:41

The school referred him end of summer I haven’t heard anything back yet

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 23/09/2025 10:43

HelloKittyFan · 23/09/2025 10:41

The school referred him end of summer I haven’t heard anything back yet

You come across as being quite passive in this. Unfortunately the way the system works is that those who shout loudest get priority. If the school won't answer then rock up in person, be the thorn in their side until you get to speak to SENCO. You need to advocate for your child because noone else will.