Not wanting to do anything in the holidays

[DrivingMeCrazyy]

I was looking forward to the holidays until I realised that my kids don’t want to go out anywhere at all, they would happily spend the 6 weeks at home not leaving the house whereas I had all these days out planned but they don’t want to go. they will come out for food but that is it and I can’t afford to eat out regularly as it cost a fortune and they are past the age of parks well the older ones are they always say how boring it is and how they are for babies. is anyone else’s kids the same? I know it’s just “teens” or so people say but they are younger teens so was hoping they’d be interested in doing more things

Are they doing stuff with their friends instead?

No don’t really meet with friends, one only saw them once.

We've had to move from "regular small cheap" days out over the holidays to much fewer, but more expensive days out.

So, in place of a weeks worth of activities being mon park, Tues library activity, Wed swimming, Thurs trip into town, Friday different park, it's 4 days of nothing, and an afternoon at Ninja warrior.

Is there anything you can think of that will drag them out with you? It's better to do a handful of things they want, than drag them places they don't want to go to.

Its a difficult adjustment. I remember it well, booking annual leave and just sitting around the house feeling like I was wasting it, especially in the years where they aren't really old enough to just be out/left home alone all day.
How old are they?

Yeah as mentioned they’d go out for food but that’s too costly to do it regularly. I miss the days when they were happy to go to the park or a museum, 14 13 and 11.

Mine are exactly the same (13 and 21, eldest moved back home from university). Neither are doing anything with friends, both just want to stay home non stop and game online (although they are talking to friends online there). Eldest has a 16 hour job and is looking for more work. It’s just very boring isn’t it. I end up going out for walks by myself.

I have just started a similar thread and saw this. So bored I could cry - more walks by myself than in bloody Covid

I would imagine if finances are a bit tight then the type of activity you may be proposing probably doesn't inspire?

Personally, I'd leave them be. Just enjoy having the little darlings at home 😉

My particular solution (may not work for everyone) was to use work from home days a couple days a week and just sort of be there as supervision, to give occasional lift etc. And then on annual leave days either splash out on a big day out, or be prepared to mainly be amusing myself in the house, or going out on my own but locally.
These are mainly ideas about how not to go mad whilst accepting they just want to be at home and not trying too hard to coax them out.
Food/drinks does work but is expensive. Once mine hit 15/16 they were out with friends a lot more. I think the ages you have is a tricky stage.

Are they doing anything else? Any chores or hanging out together?
Do You eat meals together? How about having a conversation about getting out for a bit every now and then for their mental wellbeing. Ask them to choose an activity each once a week.
look on groupon for anything interesting in the area. Do you have clubcard vouchers to use?

Bribe them.

finances are ok but they eat like adults so can’t afford to be going out to eat multiple times a week to get them out the house, they don’t want to do any “free” things like when they were younger

Would they do something at home but food related, like a family Come Dine With Me challenge where you each have to make the family dinner in turn and judge each other's efforts? (This does cost more in ingredients than a basic week but not as much as eating out and it covers dinner).

Would they think repainting some walls in your house (perhaps in their own space!) was fun and amusing?

🤣

eta; not being mean, can just imagine how it would fly

Teens these days have so much pressure from school, exams, planning for the future, social media; that I don't see it as doing nothing, I see it as valuable unwinding and resetting time.

I set a few expectations, like they have to be down for a family meal each day - some days that'll be a nice breakfast, some days a roast dinner, some days a pizza night. And they'll ask if there's something on at the cinema or they've started to want to go to things like comedy gigs.

The rest of my annual leave I've used to find new hobbies, go for a silent coffee, visit NT - down time isn't wasted, but it's also ok to leave them for some you time.

It's a big adjustment though, and it's hard. It's like their childhood has ended.

Yeah, I think it would only work on some teens and would need to be sold as updating their room to their taste rather than being an unpaid slave to improve the parental property. :-)

I wouldn’t let them loose with any paint they’d just make a huge mess 🫣

we use to go all over in the summer so it is a big adjustment.

Some things my teenage DD does is having friends over, baking, doing mine/her siblings nails and hair, lots of online gaming... taking her and a friend to costa or Starbucks.
I have two slightly younger ones and at the minute she will still come along on some days out and trips for walks and picnics or swimming. But there's definitely more just hanging around the house.

Are your teens on social media? Could you Google free places to go that would make a good I sat/Snapchat photo ?

As they are old enough to stay home alone, have you thought about divide and conquering and taking out one at a time or offering to drive them and a friend somewhere further afield ?

No they aren’t allow SM. I don’t leave them home alone as they argue so personally I don’t leave them home alone.

if they have phones though @DrivingMeCrazyy would geocaching appeal?

I remember when me and my brother hit that age we would just be left home alone and maybe once a week be taken to do things like buy some books at WHSmiths and read for a day or two.

Yes same here with my teens op. I miss when they were little and were happy to go to the park, local swimming pool, free local arts & crafts activities. and they'd play out with friends. It as all stopped and they do not want to do anything. 13 year old especially just wants to game, watch YouTube all day every day. will pull his face at every outing I suggest.
17 year old is just about to start their first job so will be occupied with that luckily.
I feel awful that summer will be wasted, like you our summers used to always cram packed with activities. Now nothing.
Think I need to start creating a life of my own.

If you have 02 or know anyone with it, it’s x4 tickets for £18 new code every week. Even cheaper if you go on a Monday.

My teens quite like water - any lakes or beaches near you? Mine enjoyed taking an inflatable kayak and picnic out for the afternoon.

It is hard though if they won’t go out and meet friends? Can people come to yours? Sleepovers - they always provide good free entertainment!

I know you said all left at home they’d argue but can you divide and conquer ? So leave 1 or 2 at home and take each one out individually if there’s something that maybe 1 wants to do but others don’t?

Yes exactly this. I miss our park adventures we would travel all over to find the best parks, or the zoo or beach, now they couldn’t be less interested and would happily send 6 weeks sat in the house 😔