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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Not wanting to do anything in the holidays

77 replies

DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 12:42

I was looking forward to the holidays until I realised that my kids don’t want to go out anywhere at all, they would happily spend the 6 weeks at home not leaving the house whereas I had all these days out planned but they don’t want to go. they will come out for food but that is it and I can’t afford to eat out regularly as it cost a fortune and they are past the age of parks well the older ones are they always say how boring it is and how they are for babies. is anyone else’s kids the same? I know it’s just “teens” or so people say but they are younger teens so was hoping they’d be interested in doing more things

OP posts:
BCBird · 03/08/2025 22:52

Better still give them a fixed budget. They do a meal.each every alternate week.

Headachequeen · 03/08/2025 22:54

DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 22:51

Yeah that’s it there is things they would do like trampoline park but that’s £80 a time gone are the days of cheap/ free activities I can’t justify £80 for 90mins at the trampoline park

Show quote history

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it, it’s as simple as that.

Do you know why they don’t invite friends over?

Original poster
DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 22:57

No they don’t say, I suspect it’s cos we have a small house and they share their room with their siblings

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 03/08/2025 23:34

What are they actually doing though. I assume not just laying on their beds staring at the ceiling.
My girl has spent most of the holiday so far in her room doing crafts, listening to books on Spotify, sorting out her Pokémon cards and listening to music.
She's having a great time.

Original poster
DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 23:39

Playing games on their phone (no internet) watching tv, talking to each other etc

OP posts:
fruitpastille · 04/08/2025 05:38

A cheap thing mine quite like is a browse round charity shops. They will walk the dog together too.

Do you have any camping stuff? Camping overnight in the garden (if you have one) is a cheap activity. Or just fire pit with marshmallows to toast.

WhatNoRaisins · 04/08/2025 05:44

I've really found since COVID that a lot of adults don't go to each others houses anymore. Whenever I invite friends over it's always a no or it turns into meeting somewhere like a cafe. Doesn't surprise me if this trend is also affecting teenagers.

aCatCalledFawkes · 04/08/2025 10:02

Yes this is my 14yr old too. 18yr old is not so bad as she has a loan horse and a job so has to leave the house..
14yr old has gym membership, he's been once so far this holiday. When we do go out he complains that he wants to be home doing whatever he has been doing every day. Although he did go out on both days over this weekend as I dragged him out but spent a lot of the time telling what he could be doing.
Going to France on saturday for a week, thankfully we all have a room each as I can't imagine he will leave his unless its to look for wifi.

JuvenileBigfoot · 04/08/2025 10:22

DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 23:39

Playing games on their phone (no internet) watching tv, talking to each other etc

Tbh that actually sounds quite nice. Peaceful and relaxing. Maybe they're just knackered!

PermanentTemporary · 04/08/2025 10:33

A few things that did work for ds back then. I didn’t offer them as a fun thing, just as helping me, or as ‘you’re doing this today’.

  • he would sometimes cook with me, either dinner , making popcorn for movie night or eg biscuits to take to relatives
  • he would go to the supermarket with me, and carry the bags. He liked being able to choose some stuff.
  • He would go to the library with me though wouldn’t read himself, but at least I was modelling reading I guess!
  • He would feed friends pets, though usually for money
  • he would under protest help me ‘babysit’ a friends child by going to the park with us together and kicking a ball about
  • he would play tennis with me at the park, though he was getting too good really by this age
  • a friends dad bought a volleyball set and played with them until they were independent. Genius. They all still meet up to play volleyball 8 years later. Maybe could contact other parents about chipping in together for this.
  • We did some short camping trips - highlight usually cooking marshmallows at the fire.
  • he did the odd free sports session the council put on.

If they’d do a bad job painting, get them to paint a fence or the inside of a cupboard or something you don’t care about too much. Watch some YouTube painting videos together. How are they supposed to learn??

TheFunnyPinkWriter · 04/08/2025 20:20

13 and 15 year olds at home over here and I feel your pain! They are at home all the time, rarely go out if it's not with me, the 13 year old will still come out with me but her brother doesn't.
They have to eat all meals downstairs and we are strict with phones and gaming (all off by 9pm, no access before 10am). They are both very active with sport during term time so I'm just leaving them be and trying to enjoy having some time back, I work in education so am off at the same time as them.
I think this bit is harder than when they were little, at least I felt needed albeit a little too much

Twattergy · 04/08/2025 23:05

DS 13 is similar. A basketball hoop and football goal means he'll play in the garden with us or alone. Bat n ball games in the garden too. He'll go on the occasional dog walk or local walk. Not much else!

Magnificentkitteh · 04/08/2025 23:17

My teen DD is the same but just yesterday she said she's had enough of lolling around and would like to do some activities. She's signed up for a kayaking course, is going to some art galleries to gather stuff for her art project, has started reading again and taken her sister to the cinema. It's not very sociable but she says she needs a break from her friends' emotions

yoshiblue · 07/08/2025 14:26

@MagnificentkittehI don’t think my son will get bored of lolling around this Summer! So well done to your daughter for having enough of it!

My son is 11 and between primary/secondary. All he wants to do is doss around in his PJs and game in the dark 🙈 He has AuDHD and I feel he’s in a weird limbo between school stages, so I’m trying to back off a bit!

yoshiblue · 07/08/2025 14:26

@MagnificentkittehI don’t think my son will get bored of lolling around this Summer! So well done to your daughter for having enough of it!

My son is 11 and between primary/secondary. All he wants to do is doss around in his PJs and game in the dark 🙈 He has AuDHD and I feel he’s in a weird limbo between school stages, so I’m trying to back off a bit!

yoshiblue · 07/08/2025 14:26

@MagnificentkittehI don’t think my son will get bored of lolling around this Summer! So well done to your daughter for having enough of it!

My son is 11 and between primary/secondary. All he wants to do is doss around in his PJs and game in the dark 🙈 He has AuDHD and I feel he’s in a weird limbo between school stages, so I’m trying to back off a bit!

Skissors · 07/08/2025 15:27

Cinema trip can be a cheap option if you can use clubcard points to get tickets

Peachhearttree · 07/08/2025 16:11

My teens are 14 and 18 and I have gone out with them a few times, the outings do involve eating out, shopping/ window shopping, book store. The meals have not been expensive but they do add up, and the outing does become a full day out as we go to town.

They went with DH to the museum but a meal out was also a motivation. They are happy to order water and not pudding to make it cheaper.

Meals our have been between £30 and £50 for 3 people.

They have also meet friends a few times and gone to the gymn together.

Skissors · 07/08/2025 19:57

Although I do remember at that age hating the thought of being seen out with my parents.
Think my dc were the same at that age.
They were happy to go to the beach for example at they weren't going to run into anyone they knew.

EvieT1 · 11/08/2025 21:26

Yep you are definitely not alone here! My kids are 14, 12 and 8 so it's also hard finding something that appeals to all. They hate walks and most activities now. I often have to take 2 and the eldest stays at home..his choice. The older ones never have friends over, eldest will go out occasionally but plays alot of cricket but my ds 12 was being very unsocial so I organised a few things for him for his friends to come over and he appreciated that. I think he still needs a bit of a push, isn't as mature yet as my eldest so happy for me to arrange something for him. I think this is just a really hard stage of transition but I like what others have said about doing less but more high quality activities so I may give that a try!

Firealarm1414 · 12/08/2025 23:17

Yes, our school holidays are over now but my 13 year old dd was just like this all summer. Saw friends twice and spent most of the rest of the time in her room, in the hotel room when we went away for a week and in her room when we went to visit relatives abroad. Like yours, she would go out with us to eat or for the occasional shopping trip if there was something she wanted to get. She does like to come with me in the car when I get groceries or run errands but wont come in to the shop. Its depressing but fairly standard for teens these days I think. Annoyingly she would usually emerge from her room to chat just when I was ready for bed lol

NotSmallButFunSize · 13/08/2025 17:28

WhatNoRaisins · 04/08/2025 05:44

I've really found since COVID that a lot of adults don't go to each others houses anymore. Whenever I invite friends over it's always a no or it turns into meeting somewhere like a cafe. Doesn't surprise me if this trend is also affecting teenagers.

In our social group we probably do it more now! No one has the money to be out every other weekend - we take turns to host and everyone brings food, makes it easy for kids too as they all come along so no babysitting needed.

I think phones just make it too easy to be social but from your house - my teens just do video calls all day despite their friends being 5 mins walk away!

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:52

Needmorelego · 03/08/2025 23:34

What are they actually doing though. I assume not just laying on their beds staring at the ceiling.
My girl has spent most of the holiday so far in her room doing crafts, listening to books on Spotify, sorting out her Pokémon cards and listening to music.
She's having a great time.

How old is she? Did she get together with friends?

LoyalMember · 20/09/2025 18:54

Don't they play football with friends or go out on bikes? They sound like oddballs..

Needmorelego · 20/09/2025 19:59

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:52

How old is she? Did she get together with friends?

Show quote history

She's 17.
She is autistic so can't go out independently to meet up with friends but they all link up on online group chats etc (in fact by doing it that way she was still having "get togethers" with her pals when we were away visiting family).
She had a very relaxing summer.
It involved a lot of Pokémon cards 😂