Not wanting to do anything in the holidays

[DrivingMeCrazyy]

I was looking forward to the holidays until I realised that my kids don’t want to go out anywhere at all, they would happily spend the 6 weeks at home not leaving the house whereas I had all these days out planned but they don’t want to go. they will come out for food but that is it and I can’t afford to eat out regularly as it cost a fortune and they are past the age of parks well the older ones are they always say how boring it is and how they are for babies. is anyone else’s kids the same? I know it’s just “teens” or so people say but they are younger teens so was hoping they’d be interested in doing more things

Why don’t you get a job then? You don’t need to be at home to attempt to entertain a 13yo!

I can remember how tricky I found the summer holidays in my early teens. I was bussed to school which made seeing friends from school difficult without adults facilitation and sadly most do get to an age where they don't want to do days out with their parents. It's a shame there are more opportunities for part time summer jobs at this age.

I'd lower your expectations and try to accept that this is how it is for now.

They don’t have friends over they never have brought friends here and don’t think they would either tbh I’ve made that suggestion but they prefer to meet outside but they haven’t seemed to be around much this summer

I suppose It's natural for them to no longer to want to do these things as they are getting older. I think its hard for us as parents to adjust to our growing and changing dcs. And we feel a loss and nostalgia for things we have done for many years with them. Its hard but a natural part of them growing up and separating from us i suppose.
I'll be off on another lonely dog walk later, atleast the dog still wants to go places with me! Just me and the dog!

Mine are exactly the same. They'd prefer to sit in their room gaming than anything else. Sooo dull. Even going out for food is a no now, they invariably ask for takeaway instead.
I did manage to send them out to walk and pick up a takeaway. I count that as a win.
But I totally get this. It's too expensive to do things like bowling, Toca social etc every day but they aren't interested in anything free.

From the age of 13 I never wanted to hang out with my parents though pre internet I was out with friends all the time. Thing is they will be hanging out with friends but just online.

Yes suppose thinking back to the early 90s when I was 13 I would've much rather have been with my friends than my mum. I was always out, only ever seen mum at meal times. A day out was a rare treat back then but I'd still prefer to stay home and hang out with mates. I hated being dragged away from my friends to be taken shopping by mum or wherever. I always felt I was missing out on what friends were up to back home.
I actually think I'd feel better if my 13 year old was physically going out and having adventures like I did with friends and not just festering on a screen all day. Times have changed so much.

Yeah I wouldn’t be fussed if they were actually going on with friends just that they are not doing that either I’m lucky if they leave their rooms.

I sometimes think I dont know why I bother to buy ds clothes because they get no wear as he'll spend most of his time gaming in his pjs.

Thanks for the lovely judgey comment. I am disabled but I do actually work (I work as an advisor for one of the support groups for one of complex health issues I have). I have plenty to keep me busy but it would be nice if my teen wanted to do something with me occasionally!

I feel your pain. Throw in a DH who doesn’t want to do anything either.
i’m planning a solo holiday next year

I’m having the same problem, my 15 year old is happy to game online with his mates, does his hour of maths homework (GCSE year coming up) and generally just bang around the house. I keep badgering him to arrange to meet in real life with his friends- two live within a 10 minute walk. He says that he can’t organise his friends to get together.

I’m actually going to give him another week to arrange something himself before staging an intervention.

I remember loving school holidays when they would be thrilled to go for a bike ride with a picnic. I had a part year contract and had all the school hols off.

It changed when the got to 11 / 12 and it became more structured (and expensive) days out. On the other hand they were perfectly happy at home and I could get on and do other stuff. End of an era though.

I also feel my heart ache when I see myms sitting chatting in the park as their kids play a big energetic game of football nearby. I miss that age..8..9 etc when they were happy with any plans.

However. I do expect my 13 year old to make plans himself. That might be football cage or wandering town or swimming ..gym...hanging out getting a subway or similar

I do think its a life skill teens need to make plans with friends

However having said that I think it's a truly sad state of affairs how youth services and clubs have been all but destroyed by austerity

Ideally there would be a youth club open all summer in every neighbourhood

Is the problem here the 24 /7 ease of gaming ?

We’ve not even had broadband for 3 weeks as my company cut me off I thought they will want to go out now, still nope! Can’t force them to meet friends as they say friends are busy/ with family, on holiday, at clubs etc

It's very odd they don't bring friends over. Why not? Could you suggest a pizza night and cook fir a few of their friends?
My 14 year old has mates over every day, they go out cycling picnics etc. Staying in your room so unhealthy.

Turn off the WiFi and go out biking... even if its to maccys for a 99 p ice cream.

We don’t have Wi-Fi currently see above comment, don’t think it’s that odd I never brought friends to my house 😂 when I was a teen obviously

Would they do shopping for clothes/ bowling/swimming/ cinema/ escape room?

Yes they probably would but those things cost lots of money which is the problem I guess I’m saying I miss when they were little and a fun day out was the park and a picnic

11 yo Dd has a small circle of friends which gets her out of the house or off the screen every few days. 13yo DS has one main friend he is happy to see at his house but not at ours as “its boring”. Other than that he is mostly gaming or watching YouTube if we
aret going out. Therefore he’s helping around the house with chores/garden -
he good at cutting the lawn. We’ve just finished binge watching the whole of Stranger Things together- first time for him. We’ve been to the cinema a couple of times. YMCA do a fun swim session every week day so have done that a few times. Decided to buy them both some large Lego sets - they have too much already and not as into it as they used to be - but the bigger sets cost as much as day out at a theme park and keep them busy just as long so have decided to buy a few over the holidays. They have the advantage you can sell them
on and recoup some of the cost.

Quite reassured by this thread if I’m honest because I’ve been quite worried this summer. My teens are similar ages to yours and would happily sit in the house gaming all day or watching Netflix. I feel so much pressure not to let them do that. At least not all day every day.

It is so much more difficult to entertain this age group as a free afternoon at the park just doesn’t fly anymore and so many free activities are aimed at little ones. There’s barely a day out or activity you can do with teens that doesn’t cost a bomb.

Next summer I am just going to leave mine to it and not ‘waste’ any holidays being off with them because it won’t be necessary and they don’t really want it. I’ll use my AL just for our family holiday.

I think if your teens are happy (are they?) then you can more or less leave them to it but if they seem down in the dumps then try and get them out more.

This sounds a great idea. Im.55 not a teenager though😂

Yeah that’s it there is things they would do like trampoline park but that’s £80 a time gone are the days of cheap/ free activities I can’t justify £80 for 90mins at the trampoline park