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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Daughter hiding her period

82 replies

Lastandfirst · 03/05/2025 19:16

My daughter is 12 and at Christmas I found out she had stared her period when I found stained knickers hidden in her bedroom.

I’ve explained about period and sex all from a young age. It shouldn’t have been a shock. She has a draw in her bedroom with towels and knickers and knows what it’s all for. I’ve chatted about it on and off.

I sat her down and said that she didn’t need to hide it and reminded her about the draw and what to do. She was so embarrassed and wouldn’t make eye contact and tried to leave the room. I think emotionally she’s immature?

Moving on I’ve found the period knickers stained and hidden. She just denies having a period. Won’t discuss it and shuts down.

Im at a loss as to what to do to do next.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
ScouserInExile · 23/05/2025 10:34

I was like this. I was only 10, still at primary school, and nobody had told me anything about periods. I didn't have a clue what the stain was. I shoved my knickers down the side of the bed and my mum found them. She just said "I think you've had a period", handed me a pack of towels and that was it. Never mentioned again. I had terribly heavy periods, but I came to see menstruation as something that had to be hidden. I went to great lengths to conceal it and never let my family see me discarding towels etc. I now see that this wasn't really normal or healthy, but it's how it was.

Only advice is don't make it a taboo subject, but, at the same time, for sensitive girls it can feel embarrassing and they worry about the smell, so it's not always that simple... Hopefully it'll get easier for her as time goes on.

user1492757084 · 23/05/2025 10:42

Teach DD to wash her clothes herself sometimes. You could do a wash with her once a week (without Dad's involvement ) and wash her underwear.
Also it's time for DD to never have Dad going into her room and collecting laundry. Improve female solidarity, privacy and independence. DD needs to put out any laundry herself to go in with the household loads.
You and she need to confidently handle the rest more modestly.

RareMaker · 23/05/2025 10:52

Talking about periods is part of my job, so we've always been open at home. My girls were still shy about it though. I brought a sealed bin for sanitary pads that they much prefer to use and are more relaxed about it now x

RareMaker · 23/05/2025 10:54

YourAquaTurtle · 22/05/2025 17:58

I have a really good recommendation for this that helped me so much with my daughter when she first started her period.

She was SO embarrassed with everything I said, wouldn't ask me for pads, and it was pretty stressful to try and work out if she was on her period and how to handle it.

Now, she's a lot more open and feels like it's less of a taboo, which is really good and it's largely because of this app - it's called luna (https://weareluna.app/?utm_campaign=mumsnet_share&utm_id=_1) and it's designed for teens, all about health & wellbeing, and basically there's everything a preteen needs to know when she's first started her period, in a really non-judgemental and relatable (non embarrassing!!) way, but it's still created by experts (doctors etc.) that I trust

There's stuff about which period product is right for you, how to deal with leaks, period pain, speaking to parents about periods (SO helpful for me) - literally everything really. I was surprised something like this existed, but it's genuinely been a life saver for us as a family.

Amazing. Thank you

ginasevern · 17/06/2025 18:16

You say her dad collects the laundry. That might be one very good reason for her embarrassment. My mum used to give my sanitary towels to my dad to burn. This was back in the dark ages of the 1960's and we lived very rurally too. I hated, hated, hated it more than I can possibly express in words. It made me sick to my stomach with embarrassment and so so anxious every single month.

ButteredRadish · 17/06/2025 18:43

You described sex to her from a “young age?!?” WTAF

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