Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What is a reasonable amount to take as "board"?

82 replies

evenhope · 10/05/2008 21:34

My DS3 says he is leaving school after GCSEs so we've told him he'll have to work. Also DS1 will be coming home from uni and if he works FT at his Sat job he will take home about £200 a week (which he will spend rather than save).

We haven't taken money off any of the DCs up to now because I thought they needed every penny for uni, but (a) they spend like it's going out of fashion and (b) DS1 won't be going back.

I used to pay my mum quite a lot but a friend's 19 yo only gives her £10 a week out of £200

Is 1/3 save/ 1/3 spend/ 1/3 board reasonable? That would give DS1 about £60-70 a week to spend. (we provide all lifts and all food)

OP posts:
ChipButty · 10/05/2008 21:42

I think taking about £50 a week would be reasonable. Whether he saves or spends the rest though is his prerogative IMO.

Tortington · 10/05/2008 21:43

one third of what they earn

Blandmum · 10/05/2008 21:44

Take more than you feel you should, and put some in a savings account for him. When he needs a deposit for a house, give him the savings

Original poster
evenhope · 10/05/2008 22:45

Thanks. Seems we are pretty much in agreement then, so must be reasonable.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 11/05/2008 00:03

A tird of what they earn sounds fine for board. But the rest of the money should be thiers to do what they want with. Encourage them to save but don't take the money from them.

waycat · 15/05/2008 12:53

I agree - when I was living at home, when I started earning, no matter how much it was I paid a third, and I shall make my boys do the same

LynetteScavo · 15/05/2008 13:06

Is it normal for teenagers to pay board then?

Myself and my siblings never paid anything.My mothers was just thrilled to have us at home.

I'm a bit at 1/3, but this is all new to me.

shouldbeworking · 15/05/2008 13:58

I think taking board money is a v good idea. Teenagers need to know there is no such thing as a free lunch. The rule in my house is that as long as they are living at home and at full time college then I will support them but as soon as they leave college then they have to pay their way.
I too am thrilled to have my dcs at home but being thrilled doesn't pay the mortgage unfortunately.

fortyplus · 15/05/2008 14:00

I think you should encourage him to save but not force it. I think £50 - £60 out of 200 would be fair, but I'd be putting it by for him without telling him. Fair enough if you can't afford to do that, though.

bogie · 15/05/2008 14:02

Save 1/3 spend 1/3 1/3 board sounds fine to me!

twinkletoesbellyrolls · 15/05/2008 14:24

I left school at 16 as my parents said they couldn't afford for me to stay on. I worked full time at John Lewis and had to give them £50 a week. I provided my own food as I was vegi.

I left home at 17. My bedsit cost the same as my rent at home and I felt that something shiffted in our relationship once I started paying them rent. I began to feel like a lodger and not their daughter.

I know that they were trying to make me contribute to the house and learn the value of money etc but sadly backfired.

My son is now 16 and i have my fingers crossed that he will be staying at home with us until uni.

I feel like I probably overcompensate for my negative experience but yet at the same time I really understand those parents who feel put upon when they still have their 24 year old living at home!!!

I really don't know the answer

fortyplus · 15/05/2008 14:48

I lived at home till I was 26, by which time I was paying £100 a month! But it was a very log time ago!

Libra1975 · 15/05/2008 14:59

I think a third is very reasonable if they have decided not to continue in education then they have to start paying their own way .

witchandchips · 15/05/2008 15:00

Think a contribution is fine but would prefer it in terms you ds being responsible for one aspect of the budget (shopping, bills etc). Think this encourages responsibility (involves more effort than just handing over money) and makes ds more included. he is included as grown up member of family rather than being a paying guest
When I lived at home while i was doing my MSc I had to keep the house stocked with basics and pay for the cleaner

ChocolateRockingHorse · 15/05/2008 15:07

I am very sure in my own mind that its only right that "kids" (of whatever age) who are earning a f/time wage should contribute to the household finances. What are we teaching otherwise, other that to freeload?

How much is entirely down to circumstances. In our position, because we are on various benefits for the time being, I am going to need my DS to pay towards the money we lose from the benefits because of him working - admittedly not all of it because they are really going to sting us once he turns 16. He'll be a college initially so we won't be asking for the contribution til he's earning a wage obviously; even though even then we'll be "losing" significant amount.

But I do think it's right that earning older kids pay something.

LynetteScavo · 15/05/2008 16:37

Have just realised how increadibly generous my mother is.

fiodyl · 15/05/2008 16:48

Chocolate do you know about EMA? Its paid to those in ow income families that decide to stay on at college. If you qualify it may make up some of what u lose

ChocolateRockingHorse · 15/05/2008 16:49

Yes, we phoned a couple of weeks ago and asked for an EMA application form. (Not received it actually.. must phone and chase that up.) But that money will go to him and rightly so, not us.

lilibet · 15/05/2008 16:50

With dd we sat down and showed her all the bills that came in (phone, gas, electric, council tax, tv licence, water rates etc)and told her that we expected her to contribute a fifth towards them all (us, dd and 2 ds's in the house), this came to £120 a month.

I thought this was a pretty fair way of doing it and we will review it each year.

Makes her aware of exactly what has to be paid for and how things go up.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 15/05/2008 16:51

I think perhaps that well off parents don't ask for anything. Although if it was me, I would still be looking to teach my children how to budget in some other way; making them responsible for a certain bill or something.

fiodyl · 15/05/2008 17:21

Yes it will go to him. Maybe u could ask him to pay some to u or tell him he has to use it for something that u used to pay for e.g. getting the bus to college instead of u driving him or saving up 2 buy himself new trainer

ChocolateRockingHorse · 15/05/2008 17:27

I rang them and they said all the EMA forms are being sent out at the end of May so not prob there..

Another major thing in our family is that DS gets Disability Living Allowance (he has cystic fibrosis although is very well, touchwood) which has always been paid to us and we have always included as part of the family incomes. Now that will go to him too. He's in his element I can tell you!

What with having to pay his prescription charges (we'll have to get pre payment certificates with all the drugs he has to have!) we're going to be fairly out of pocket (once he lives college) as don't suppose I'll make HIM pay for that!

Tortington · 15/05/2008 17:29

why not?

ChocolateRockingHorse · 15/05/2008 17:33

Because £100 is a lot of money..

I should make him contribute then, yes? And maybe make him start buying some of the hundred weight worth of chocolate and junk he has to eat (it's his "healthy diet").. that costs a fortune and, I guess, is what the DLA is for to some extent..

BexieID · 15/05/2008 17:35

I lived at home till 2 years ago, and was paying £120 a month and earning approx £800 a month, depending on how much overtime I did. My brother is still at home and pays the same. A third of what they earn is a good idea, as they all could be earning different amounts. I would also love to be able to save some of it for when they do move out on their own. Tom is only 2 though, so got a few years to go yet, lol.

Swipe left for the next trending thread