Leaving child alone overnight for the first time

[GlitterRain]

He’s 17. I know he will be fine. I know many kids do this at a younger age, but it just hasn’t come up yet, and he has always been quite ‘young’ for his age until this last year. We’ve walked him through everything. He has a relative 10 mins down the road for emergencies, and we’ll only be 45 mins away, and not drinking, so can get back if needs be. I know this is a necessary step before he leaves home (!). He doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs. No chance of him throwing a party or doing anything outrageous - the worst thing he’ll do is spend too long on his computer. We’re giving him money for a take away so no cooking risk. But all the worst case scenarios are running through my mind. Someone please reassure me before I drive myself crazy!

Could he have a friend to stay? Sometimes it feels easier if you know they have company!

At 17, it's long overdue. He'll be absolutely fine - please don't smother the poor guy!

He’ll be absolutely fine. It’s a good age to do it, especially if it’s just one night. Nothing bad will happen and both parties will gain confidence.

In a year most kids would be dropped at uni with zero oversight so let him have this now and enjoy the freedom!

I did suggest the friend thing, but there’s only one friend he’s close enough with and unfortunately he’s unavailable on the night.

Obviously staying over at the relative’s was an option too, but (as @Cynic17 has just pointed out!) I know I’m getting into smothering territory now and need to cut the apron strings. 🙈 We have no other plans to go away this year as it stands so it may be the only opportunity!

Thank you all - already feeling better - just needed to hear someone else say it!

I felt odd the first time I did it with my DD just before she turned 17 but all was fine, she had a lovely quiet night with pizza and a film! I was definitely more worried than she was.

It's nice to give him takeaway money to make his evening easier - but you do need to stop the worry about cooking risk. He's going to be responsible for all his own food soon.

I lived in a shared house and had a full time job at that age!

That’s really good to hear @SeaDragon17 😊 am sure I’ll be saying the same in a few days! And I know you’re 100% right @LostittoBostik - need to work on my anxieties! We have younger kids (who are staying with said relative) and ironically I’d almost feel better about my 14yo as he’s always had a very responsible streak for his age. But my eldest has always been quite careless - walking off leaving the hob on after finishing cooking his food etc - we’re working on it! @floppybit that’s some helpful perspective, thank you!

Try not to worry, he'll be fine. He sounds like he won't abuse your trust in him either (unlike my dd, found out years later her boyfriend came around, she was 16!)

If he’s 17 and you think he’s about to leave home, teach him to cook a meal that you trust him to cook himself in your absence. It’s a very basic life skill ! Even if it only something beige on an oven tray !!

Similar! I had just turned 17, parents kicked me out (long story not relevant to here)
was still in college doing my a levels and was living independently.

This was 2003, so yes over 20 years ago.
But I’m sure at 17 he’ll be fine, and will be good for you both.

worse case scenario is you come back to aftermath of a party or gathering!

He will be fine. Mine did practice nights like this from when they were younger than that (brothers always both sleeping at home) and when they were 16&17 they stayed at home for 5 nights when we went away 5 hour drive away. Their dad lives ten minute walk away, we know my neighbour well, my mum popped in, but tbh they entertained themselves (and revised for their GCSEs and a levels!) without any bother.

My parents when on holiday for 2 weeks when I was younger then this. He'll be fine 🤣

I was the same - left him for a weekend at 17 he was totally fine - enjoyed the time to himself - I was worried but it was all good! The independence was great for him - have a great time and try to relax

This🙌🏻🙌🏻

Ring doorbell?

I can understand why you may be concerned from some of your comments. Kids can be very different. My son would have been fine from about 14, he’s now 20, at uni and thriving.
my nephew is nearly 30 and I wouldn’t have trusted him alone in my house until about at least 21! 😂 (his mum felt the same!)

I had an opportunity that came up a weekend after ds turned 16, so I’ve been leaving him since then (and for full disclosure, I was over an hour away and did have a drink). It was actually a good thing, because I ended up having surgery just before he turned 17, and between hospital / rehab had to leave him in charge of the house and cats for an extended period.
I definitely think this is a good step for you and your ds on his way to independence :) I also totally understand how different all our circumstances are though, and how this might not have come up for you until now.

I went abroad with a friend for the first time at 17. Oh, and I also left home come to think of it. He'll be fine.

That’s a good point! Ds did a week abroad with friends at 17 a few years ago, and I left home at that age 20 years previously (not necessarily recommending it, but it was relatively normal).

Bloody Nora don't just cut those apron strings hack at them with an axe, torch them with a flame thrower and for god sake give the boy some space. My 7 (yes 7) year old stays home alone for up to 2 hrs, he makes his own sandwich and drinks and snacks. When home alone he isn't allowed to cook but is capable of making spaghetti bolognaise from scratch and makes his own French toast. I want a self sufficient capable child who then becomes a capable adult. Your son is less than a year from adulthood and your not letting him cook FFS.

Child?
Relax he isn't a child. He is an adult.

With an adult relative nearby this is a good opportunity to give him some space to mature. Plus he probably won't notice as he'll be watching films/gaming/phone etc.

Bloody hell, we've been going away for weekends as soon as the kids turned about 14!

My 17 year old has just taken himself off for his Royal Marines training - 260 miles on the train on his tod with three changes.