Teenage party - how to keep it safe?

[AnonymouseQuestion]

I’ve agreed my DD can have a party for her 16th. She wants 40 people, a speaker system hired so the music is loud, a couple of outdoor heaters as I’ve said they must be in the garden unless it’s raining and me and her dad to stay upstairs throughout unless there is trouble. Her 18 year old brother has said he will police the door and only allow in those on the list.

Any tips for keeping it controlled and safe? I’m really regretting agreeing to this as every friend I tell says I’m crazy and it will get out of hand.

I would hire hall not in house if you have to do.
Wouldn't do as big responsibility for you 40 teens!!!

given you started a thread about how to get your own guests to leave after dinner and your struggles with that “predicament”…. getting rid of 40 teens at 11.30? Well i would pay to watch you do that op!

I'm gonna go against the majority and say I think it will be fun and not too bad. You have your son on the door, which means it will only be people your DD knows well, they'll be outdoors which means the house won't be trashed (I'd sit in the lounge and turf anyone who comes in straight out if I were you and provide a gazebo in case of rain, also a fire pit can be nice).
I also echo the idea of providing a load of nonalcoholic beer & mixed cocktails. Don't mention they are non alcoholic just put them out in a poorly lit area alongside some cans of coke and other soft drinks.
It should all be fine but if not it will be a good story.

@mamechange damn I really want a TimTam now 😋 Haven't had one in years!

You'll be fine, just get the boy that has a little bit of a scary reputation( who is probably lovely) or you or your DH to turn off the music and say that's it. Party is over. As soon as the music is off they vamoose. And turn on all the lights.

Good luck. I've told my dd no for a 16th. More that I'll be held responsible if anyone is hideously drunk and something bad happens.
Also they can't handle their drink, they have no idea what it can do to them. Even if you say don't bring spirits they will.
My DD went to a party recently. Provided her with a few mixers. Her friend's mum gave her friend a bottle of vodka even though I said I wouldn't. So that didn't help my decision.
My ds had an 18th. 30 kids. No issues with them. Guess who did vomit though....

I still don't know why. Do you have a teenager?

BTW the boy was 19yo. You couldn't have stopped him going anywhere! I get the feeling you have very young children lets leave it at that.

@mamechange the same 19 year old that got uncontrollably drunk at a house party

the same 19 year old who’s daddy came and dragged him home?

For anyone saying ‘just hire a hall’ - have you actually tried to hire one for a teenager party? Zero chance where I live. Not allowed. Ditto 18th’s.

also…. smacks of year 5 school disco

I personally wouldn't provide any alcohol, in my experience they all bring their own anyway and if they only drink what they bring and then get poorly at least it's not on stuff that I've supplied and I won't get blamed by any parents!

But it will be great! We've had lots of teen parties at our house and the kids are always a lot better behaved than the same number of adults would be! Our rule has always been invited guests only, no plus ones and the kids have always respected that.

I had a 16th with 120 people but in a local working men's club upstairs hall
No alcohol served, only one bottle was snuck in, and we had the most amazing time with a band and dj
2 older friends policing and parents stayed downstairs

Oh my Heavens… young people talking loudly in the street, on one night, for probably upwards of maybe 10 minutes…

I have grumpy neighbours

@namechange sometimes mumsnet is its own microclimate. I know of not one party where teens don't drink and worse.

Like you saybthey probably have young kidsz i laugh at what my ideas were when my chikd was 2. I went on a dramatic learning curve. I still realised most teen parties have alcohol though. Tale as old as time.

This thread is hilarious.
40 teenagers, mixed sex, alcohol what could go wrong?
We’ve all been there, yes they will sneak drink in, yes they will throw up, there will be at least one fight and at least one hook up.
If you want to avoid consequences of drunken teenagers don’t have a house party - you can’t police them.

Get your son to have a couple mates as reinforcements. Have a drink policy. Have a strict end time. Be there yourself (but out of the way). Be prepared to call parents if their child gets sick or out of control (at one party my son went to a boy fell off the deck, another broke the bathroom sink). And you are a braver woman than me!

40? You're brave, I set the limit at 15 and that was more than enough

We've hosted a few teen parties (smaller than this one though!). They were all broadly fine except the one where we didn't supply enough food to soak up the booze. Carbs all the way. A big chilli or pizzas or just masses of garlic bread are your friend here.
Also in winter, they ALL have identical black puffa jackets. So it is totally impossible to reunite them with the correct coat to go home in (inevitably with their keys and travel card... argh).

I wouldn't do it. Unless they are exceptionally sensible, there will be a lot of alcohol, sneaked in if they're told no, people will be sick, it will be much louder than you think. You won't know if anyone is taking drugs or has drugs on them. En masse they will not behave as they might do when you meet them individually. Things have a high chance of getting broken. You might end up feeling responsible for ones that drink too much. The music will have to stop before 11.30 if it's outside or you'll get complaints.
I'm just going by my teenage child's stories and my own memories - 16 was when we drank the most and could handle it the least and used to do some really stupid things.

I have hosted quite a few teenage parties. Mostly 16 to 18,
I have always limited the numbers, the most was 25 and that was too many.
IMO 40 is too many and a loud sound system in the garden sounds dubious.
I also hover in the kitchen every time and most of them are happy to chat. I also provide snacks and light food, as well some booze, though I would be careful what you are offering with 16 year olds.
I think your current plan has the potential to go tits up. Its a lot of kids and you will find it hard to keep track and thats when it can go wrong,..

I wouldn't have thought outdoor heaters would cut it this time of year. They'll be frozen.

They won’t feel cold - they’ll all be drunk as skunks.

they will feel it if pissing down with rain and a hard wind blowing