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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

19 year old with ptsd about ex

3 replies

Bontasha · 18/11/2024 21:24

My daughter had a boyfriend for around 2 years age 15/16, he seemed lovely initially and his parents were pretty neglectful so he spent a lot of time with our family. It's a long story but basically he was manipulative and controlling plus we think he threatened our daughter, she won't tell us the full story but something happened which deeply affected her. They broke up 2 years ago (he is now a she!) She hasn't had a boyfriend since.
She just met a chap at university but she is freaked out because he has the same accent as her ex. They have only been on one date but she was crying tonight saying she can't see him again because of his voice. Should I encourage her to see him or not?
She needs psychological help but it is proving difficult to get her to agree to it.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 18/11/2024 21:28

Should I encourage her to see him or not?

Neither! I almost wrote that in full caps, it's so important.

If she has trauma, and she could well, she needs safe support, not advice. Be curious, ask open questions, give empathy but she needs to seek help herself, without pushing.

Pickandmixmood · 18/11/2024 21:28

Was it a psychiatrist who diagnosed PTSD? If so, they would be best placed to recommend the appropriate treatment.

Bontasha · 18/11/2024 21:30

No it wasn't formally diagnosed I just couldn't think of another way of describing her stress an anxiety around her ex

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