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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How would you react if your friends daughter spoke to you like this?

60 replies

Beetroot · 20/04/2008 20:49

They have come for Sunday lunch which we are cooking and we cook alot for them

We like doing this. It is not a problem at all.

I ask 14 year old to pop to shop for me to get some frozen peas as I have run out

She looks at me and groans
she then says -' only if your buy me a magazine'

I look at her and say 'I will buy you a magazine or I will feed you' and smile

Her mum gets cash out and gives her money to pay for peas and magazine

ds who is 14 was shocked!

OP posts:
southeastastra · 20/04/2008 20:50

seems normal behaviour really

CarGirl · 20/04/2008 20:52

I think to say to someone who is not your parent it's very rude, with her parents it could be the normal deed. I'd prefer to be asked if they could have a magazine rather than the "only if" which IMO is rude.

morocco · 20/04/2008 20:53

my mum would have murdered me, and I'd be mortified if my kids spoke to a friend of mine like that, but I suspect I am v old skool

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 20:55

my son siad he would never ever speak to her mum like that

OP posts:
Spidermama · 20/04/2008 20:56

Very rude of her but then I assume she felt a bit indignant that you were dishing out orders to her. She's not asking you to cook for her after all. Your assertion that you 'cook a lot for them' seems to imply you want her to feel in some way beholden or at least grateful. Now, at fourteen, she might not even want to be at the house of her mum's mate.

I'm trying to see it from the mind of a fourteen year old here.

goodcatholicgirl · 20/04/2008 20:57

I suppose normal for a 14 yr old, but that doesn't excuse it. I would have had my arse whacked if I'd spoken to anyone like that at that age.

Cheeky minx.

Psychomum5 · 20/04/2008 20:57

I would be utterly horrified if MY 14yo DD spoke to anyone like that....including me!!! (altho she still does talk to me like that)

no way would I ever let her say that and then still hand over money to her.

and she knows it too!!!

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 20:58

we are good friends, my ds had already gone tothe shops to buy the lemonade as a treat adn I forgot to ask him to get the peas.

She loves coming to us.
I know her well enough to ask her to do a small job - especially as they come alot and I cook for her family at least twice a month

OP posts:
choccypig · 20/04/2008 20:58

Why didn't you ask your DS to go (with her)?

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 20/04/2008 20:58

Very rude buuuuut if she knows you well and has for a long time then she maybe just wasn't thinking about you not being her mum if that makes sense.
Although I would not have spoken to my own mum particularly like that I had a friend and we spoke to each others mums in a semi stroppy manner like we did to our own. Our mums were close friends we were close friends and the family had kinda melted into one.

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 20:59

ds was on his way back with lemonade and did not have his phone with him.

OP posts:
DrNortherner · 20/04/2008 20:59

I'd be mortified if my child spoke to an adult like that. I certainly would not give her money for a mag.

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 20:59

my kids would not say that to me.

OP posts:
jingleyjen · 20/04/2008 21:00

I think it is awful, not sure how I would have handled it..
would probably have said something similar.
ie, oh well I won't be able to give you any dinner then.

WideWebWitch · 20/04/2008 21:01

I'd have said you've got to be joking you cheeky mare now hoppit to the shop poppet and hurry up about it

misdee · 20/04/2008 21:01

i would be mildily shocked and think she was trying her luck. maybe she feels too comfortable there, and next time you should ask to do some small chore to make her really feel at home. lol (i am mean lol)

WideWebWitch · 20/04/2008 21:02

But tbh I wouldn't be terribly upset about it. I'd have given her raised eyebrow you've got to be joking look
reckon her mother bribes her to do things all the time so bet she just thinks that's what you do, you haggle.

kama · 20/04/2008 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Psychomum5 · 20/04/2008 21:02

oh, mine would try it beety.....they may not get away with it, but they would try it on the nights with friends around when I am more relaxed.....(on wine more to the point)

anyhoo.....besides the point in a way....they may say it, they would *NOT get away with it....and they would be in worse trouble if they tried it on to a friend!

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 21:02

www - that is the way I spoke her - but her mum then gave her the money to buy the magazine - (take a break)

Her mum did not bat an eyelid

OP posts:
Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 21:03

I am not cross
I was mildly shocked I guess

OP posts:
Hulababy · 20/04/2008 21:04

Not normal behaviour IMO for a child of 14 to speak that way to an adult who is not a parent. Def rude and out of order.

Had it been my child I would have been very embarrassed about it and I would have spoken to my child and asked them to apologise for rudeness also.

DrNortherner · 20/04/2008 21:04

I'm more shocked at teh fact that she reads take a break......

Original poster
Beetroot · 20/04/2008 21:09

yes - that did shock me DrN.

Hello/Ok perhaps but take a break!

OP posts:
mumeeee · 20/04/2008 21:13

Normal to say something like that to your parents. But my DDs would neber speak tp another parent like that.

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