How to teach your child to believe in things that you really don't?

[JazbayGrapes]

Think school.
That work assigned is important.
That obeying the rules is important.
That getting on with you peers is important.

Other than "you will need some qualifications to show on your cv" i can't think of anything else.

My kid hates school. I hated it too. Even though academically i was top of the class and went to university.

I think you should try homeschooling your child and see how much you appreciate his free thinking, rule-breaking spirit after a few weeks.

We had covid lockdown. I think we managed quite ok.

You can't see it can you?

Ok, i admit cultural difference. We didn't have uniforms in my country. Every morning we wore what we had and what was weather appropriate. No "nightmare" and certainly no needing a permission to wear a coat if it rains.

Lockdown - although, let's not forget, in many cases [I know not all - the Covid first lockdown meant provision varied massively due to government advise to schools] the planning, prep and lesson content was done for parents/children - showed us that you can teach one child a lot more quickly than 30children. That's true and it will always be the case. There is less distraction, less having to keep going over things for other people, etc.

But you do other things in schools and vary the way the lesson goes. It's not just read this, listen to this, now do that.

I disagree with all your points, doing homework confirms you've understood, so gets good grades, although yes you ding need to do it; following rules not all the time but mostly makes life easier; getting on with people makes life easier.

You've had an unconventional childhood, and sound like quite a miser. Sometimes I've told ds's to obey school rules just 'because', because it makes life easier, which is an important aspect to me.

What was the petty school uniform rule your dc broke? I'm a fan of school uniforms, it gives uniformity, you all wear the same, no choice each day, less stigma for lower income dc.

This would be my take.
Sometimes it is worth the hassle of arguing (e.g. if girls have to wear skirts, and can't wear trousers, this is unfair, possibly illegal, and worth arguing about).
Sometimes not.
Sometimes it really does help us all to get along.

I was having this argument on FB about National Service in the form of volunteering with a mum who thinks her children are special snowflakes who have a perfectly good life and excellent careers and why should they go off and volunteer - my suggestion was that we need carers and TAs and handypeople and those are the kinds of things we can train 18 year olds to do and they will also experience another part of the country, how the other half lives etc. She insists that her children decide everything for themselves and always make good decisions. I suggested that perhaps they would pay taxes and keep the law even if they didn't feel like it because they want to be part of society.

Getting on with your peers is objectively important. You don't have to do everything they say, or be besties with all of them, and getting on with people you may not warm to is a HUGELY important life skill.
And so is making sure that you know who to turn to when major breaches take place - "not being a snitch" if your colleague is defrauding the company is not a positive character trait.

(I do, however, hate uniform, and would happily send my DCs to schools without uniforms if I could. I sell it to them as "this is the best school for you and we put up with the uniform because the teachers prefer it that way and they do lots of other good things for you" rather than "uniform is good for you" because I don't believe the latter).

You've had an unconventional childhood, and sound like quite a miser.

My childhood was very conventional apart of minor cultural differences. Maybe i'm a miser but i am a living proof that compliance does not equal success.

What was the petty school uniform rule your dc broke? I'm a fan of school uniforms, it gives uniformity, you all wear the same, no choice each day, less stigma for lower income dc.

Footwear mainly. And coats. Like... WTAF? Why can't a kid wear weather appropriate thing if its pouring rain? Oh, and hair length. How can a boy's hair be too short?
I'm not sure where does the compassion for low income come here, when sensible shoes are declared no longer acceptable because they are not real leather or a teeny tiny logo on them and parents are obliged to buy new.

I have one phrase that I always fall back on....you don't have to agree, but sometimes you have to accept.

Works about 60/70% of the time!!!