What are your consequences for rudeness

[Greenroof]

DD 15 has been consistently rude for the past couple of months and it’s grinding us all down. I’ve taken the phone away for a day but nothing seems to have s long term impact. No drink, drugs, boys. I imagine she’s just not very happy with life right now but I still don’t like being a punch bag.

What do you do in this situation

I think it would be about trying to get to the root of the issue. Try to spend some 1-1 time with her doing things she'll enjoy and hope that she opens up to you. And at the same time being firm that while you understand she might be feeling frustrated etc, you're not her verbal punch bag and she still needs to treat others with respect. I'd also provide her with other outlets like exercise, time in nature, promoting things she enjoys that she finds relaxing and encouraging her to use those outlets if she's stressed instead of being hurtful to others. Do you have ideas as to why she's not enjoying life very much right now? 15 is a hard age to be in general so I'd be trying to pick my battles in terms of arguments/consequences and just have a really consistent approach.

Thanks @Lavender14 i am doing that and she is quite pleasant when it’s us together but inside the home she is a nightmare !

Can I have an example?

Most of the time I do nothing. Just a blank look, and let the meanness of their words hang in the air. Kind of like ignoring silly toddler behaviour. Because most of the time they’re fine. I might comment now and then, but teenagers will fight to death for the last word so mostly I don’t bother.

They don’t scream or swear or throw things. They’re not vicious or anything. Just rude sometimes. Stroppy.

The phone gets confiscated first and then extra chores imposed. Final consequence is removal of the play station from his room.