Thoughts on what age is appropriate for parents and teens to share a room in a hotel.

[Truffle55]

I have just got back from a holiday in Greece. I am a single mum and my DS is 12. We have not been away for a long time and I (possibly stupidly) assumed the hotels (we island hopped so multiple stays) would see he was 12 from the booking and at very least put us in a twin room.

Basically they didn’t.

At the first stop, we had a double room. At the second, they didn’t, but it was a family run hotel and they changed the room into a twin for us. The third, was a twin, albeit the beds were pushed together.

The age of a “child” changes depending on who you book with. It can range anywhere up to age 17. But next year, when we travel he will be 13 maybe 14. Frankly, I don’t really want to be sharing with him at age 14 but booking a second room will obviously increase the price considerably. I do accept that but that also could mean the difference between travelling and not traveling for us. And he loves to travel and seeing new things.

I have booked a long weekend abroad in a few weeks to test out the idea of AirBNB to see if that could be a possible answer.

My question is, what age do you think it’s acceptable to share a room with your child?

Happily share rooms with any/all of my kids and they are all happy to share (teens, both genders). I'd be happy to share beds if they were, though I'd prefer not to (I'd prefer not to share with anyone tbh!). As they've got older, we've checked in with them about it.

As they've got older, while we don't present a 'you share or we can't afford the holidays' choice, we do discuss the fact that them sharing or not sharing has budgetary implications. We went on holiday to New York last year and decided as a family that we'd rather (all!) share a hotel room and have more money to spend on eating out etc. And on a recent European city break we stayed in an airBnB and they/we chose a 3 bed apartment with one of them having a sofa bed in the living room - they decided to prioritise location over four bedrooms. We're lucky that our budget is such that we can offer those kind of choices, I realise.

I find this bizarre, are people really this prudish with their own family?
One of the good things about having an only child is cheaper holidays as only 1 room needed.

This is simply hotel economics.
Vast majority of their customers will be couples or business people on their own. Some people don't like two singles joined together as a double so there's that to factor in as well.

We always wanted a bit of space even when DS was young, but it was astounding how few places had a bedroom and separate living area.

Things are changing now with apart hotels rising in popularity, and more group holidays.

Often if you email a hotel they can offer you the bed layout you want, but they don't advertise it. Premier Inn for example has adjoining rooms, but you need to ring up and ask for them.

Oh and to answer the original question, this has dredged up a horrible memory when I shared with my DPs as a teen - probably 15-16. DF woke up at night to go to the toilet and he was naked. If you're sharing with your DCs for the love of god put on some pyjamas. I refused point blank to share a room with them after that.

NB there was nothing dodgy about it. DF is simply a very selfish person who wouldn't see the issue and would always prioritise his own right to sleep naked over what would be most comfortable for his teenage DD.

I've certainly seen others sharing with late teens. I wouldn't and haven't since much younger but we (parents) snore and ds is fiercely private.

Op I'd do it as long as you and your DS are comfortable with it.
Tbh I also think lots of hotels need an adult over 18 in each room. So really they expect you to share.

I tend to book a two bed apartment in hotel or hotel with room partition and my son sleeps in living room on a sofa bed.

@rookiemere I agree. We had far greater success before the rise of Booking.com and the likes, by booking directly with hotels.
I remember trying to book a package holiday in Italy for me, DH and 18 yo (at the time) DS. Package co wanted to charge crazy amount for a single room for DS. Booked direct with the hotel and they allocated a single room at single room prices - we just booked the flights separately and it worked out cheaper. Similarly in Barcelona with a then 16yo DS, we were able to get a 'suite' which had quite clearly been 2 rooms and they'd taken a wall out. Whilst DS was still in the same room as us he had his own side and a separate bathroom.
Now with BDC, Trivago, etc, we struggle with their filters and trying to sell us rooms that don't meet our needs. I've only just encountered this as DS no longer comes away with us, and it's the booking of a holiday for 3 same sex friends that has highlighted the shortcomings of the systems

DS is 15 and we’d both rather not share a room. In fact, we wouldn’t now, thinking about it.

Airbnbs are the way to go - so much more space and choice. I would certainly never stay in a hotel again in a city as they are soooo much better.

When we do stay in hotels I share a room with DD and DH/DS share. I don’t think I’d want to share a bed with 20 yr old DS.

I shared a cabin with DS and DH when DS was 18 because for him to have his own cabin would have cost another 3k. I mean if they are getting a free holiday especially as an adult then they can suck it up.

@ohtowinthelottery I identify likely candidates on Booking then either message them through that, or contact the hotel directly.

Or just do what we do now on our ladies trips as age has caused thrice nightly wee trips ( me as it's worse if I'm anxious about it) or snoring ( hopefully not me) we just book our own rooms and choose hotels according to budget for that.

This.

I will happily share a bed with my adult daughter (and I don't think she minds either) but if possible I do look for somewhere with a kingsize and then put a couple of pillows down the middle as a barrier.

I'm 42 and would share with my dad, except that he snores a lot! That's the only reason I would yell share.

In a twin room
That is. I wouldn't share a double!

We've often shared a room with our two teen girls. Sometimes two double beds, sometimes (less often) double plus 2 singles. The girls have not always got on well so sometimes it's been me with one and DH with the other. It's not ideal but better than paying double the price. It's gone from us going to bed early for them, to us waiting up for them to come in from the bar!

I share a room with my teenage boys because I can't afford not too! Luckily they don't care. I've also shared a hotel room with my mum and sister as adults, again to save money.

I often go away with my best mate and we'll share a bed if there isn't a twin available - we're 48 and 58

I can't understand why people would have an issue with close family or is it the whole British hang up

Don't assume they will provide twin beds, just ask the hotel after you've booked them

To answer your question I think it is appropriate at any age and I wouldn’t stop sharing a room. I have teen sons and I would holiday with them in the same room at any age. Trying to ensure a twin room, yes absolutely, but I certainly wouldn’t go to the expense of a second room if it was just two of us.

As a family we had lots of traveling holidays and shared rooms and DS and DS often shared a room. As long as there is a bathroom to get dressed/undressed in you can make it work. DS and DD view was its not ideal, but its just somewhere to sleep and they got amazing holidays. I traveled a lot for work to some places where it was hard to get any room (like when an air port closes for bad weather) and sometimes ended up sharing with colleguess. Even shared the last room availble at a hotel with a stanger and she was female. You can make it work

My ds just turned 16. We shared a twin room, and were perfectly comfortable. Getting dressed in the bathroom is hardly an inconvenience. He wasn't the slightest bit bothered.

I was careful to book a twin room. We wouldn't share a bed, that would feel inappropriate.