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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Thoughts on what age is appropriate for parents and teens to share a room in a hotel.

98 replies

Truffle55 · 05/05/2024 19:41

I have just got back from a holiday in Greece. I am a single mum and my DS is 12. We have not been away for a long time and I (possibly stupidly) assumed the hotels (we island hopped so multiple stays) would see he was 12 from the booking and at very least put us in a twin room.

Basically they didn’t.

At the first stop, we had a double room. At the second, they didn’t, but it was a family run hotel and they changed the room into a twin for us. The third, was a twin, albeit the beds were pushed together.

The age of a “child” changes depending on who you book with. It can range anywhere up to age 17. But next year, when we travel he will be 13 maybe 14. Frankly, I don’t really want to be sharing with him at age 14 but booking a second room will obviously increase the price considerably. I do accept that but that also could mean the difference between travelling and not traveling for us. And he loves to travel and seeing new things.

I have booked a long weekend abroad in a few weeks to test out the idea of AirBNB to see if that could be a possible answer.

My question is, what age do you think it’s acceptable to share a room with your child?

OP posts:
AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 05/05/2024 20:07

Truffle55 · 05/05/2024 19:41

I have just got back from a holiday in Greece. I am a single mum and my DS is 12. We have not been away for a long time and I (possibly stupidly) assumed the hotels (we island hopped so multiple stays) would see he was 12 from the booking and at very least put us in a twin room.

Basically they didn’t.

At the first stop, we had a double room. At the second, they didn’t, but it was a family run hotel and they changed the room into a twin for us. The third, was a twin, albeit the beds were pushed together.

The age of a “child” changes depending on who you book with. It can range anywhere up to age 17. But next year, when we travel he will be 13 maybe 14. Frankly, I don’t really want to be sharing with him at age 14 but booking a second room will obviously increase the price considerably. I do accept that but that also could mean the difference between travelling and not traveling for us. And he loves to travel and seeing new things.

I have booked a long weekend abroad in a few weeks to test out the idea of AirBNB to see if that could be a possible answer.

My question is, what age do you think it’s acceptable to share a room with your child?

Wait till you see what happens at Disneyworld - up to 5 in the same room!!!

Seriously though, any age. Get changed in the bathroom for privacy if either of you need it. Wouldn’t bother me.

Efh · 05/05/2024 20:17

I don’t understand the problem. I have an 18yo ds and I’m perfectly happy to share a hotel room. What exactly is the problem?

marmiteoneverything · 05/05/2024 20:18

I don’t think sharing a room is inappropriate at any age! I do understand not wanting to share a bed though. I would share a bed with my mum or sister if necessary, but I wouldn’t want to share with my dad.

I hope you enjoy the Airbnb! That is what we try and do when we travel with DSCs 🙂

shuffleofftobuffalo · 05/05/2024 20:20

Request twin beds (never assume) and if you have to have a double ask for two separate duvets. Makes all the difference.

MmMmMmMmMmMmMmM · 05/05/2024 20:21

You don’t need a second room, just book a suite. Our children are much younger but we always book a suite so they’re not in our bedroom.

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 05/05/2024 20:23

I'm going away in a couple of weeks, I'll be sharing a room with my 19 year old DS. It's a twin room but we would share a bed if we had to.

I think it's only a problem if one of you thinks it's a problem.

Saschka · 05/05/2024 20:23

I still share with DM now and I’m 45!

You just need to make sure you ask explicitly for a twin room. It would be ridiculous to pay out for two separate rooms so you can have one each.

MumChp · 05/05/2024 20:25

You get a twin room if you pay for it.

I don't mind sharing with our children regardless of age. We have two children +18 yo and a 10 yo.

We went to London last month and had twin rooms. One room for parents and one room for two of the children.

aintnospringchicken · 05/05/2024 20:34

I shared a twin room with DS when he was 21.
DH,DS and I all shared a room for 1 night when we did a USA road trip. Rooms were pricey and it was just a place to sleep overnight.
I had no problem sharing a room with my DC at any age as long as there were separate beds..

Talipesmum · 05/05/2024 20:40

You have to ask for twin room rather than assuming. They’re not bothering to check the ages and guess your preferred setup. Also it’s likely best to book direct with the hotel for this rather than through a third party site.

If it’s separate beds, I’m not sure there’s an age limit. But we are more inclined to make sure we have separate rooms if it’s for more than a night or two. If we are having a weekend away we will keep it cheap and simple by getting one family room, us in one bed, teen brothers in another. If it’s for more than a night or two we will do separate rooms now. But if it was just me and one child/teen, I think I’d be fine with a twin room for a while. Would seem friendlier. Not sure really!

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 05/05/2024 20:42

Truffle55 · 05/05/2024 19:59

Thank you all for your comments - I’m glad I’m not completely potty! but maybe worrying unnecessarily.

I think for me, there seemed to be an assumption from the travel company that because I am female and he is male (and he could potentially be classed as an adult), then a double room was “ok”. When, it’s not.

think I just need to be extra vigilant when requesting a “TWIN” room. 😊

You need to book twin rooms op, not just request them. They're usually a booking category of their own.

DelilahBucket · 05/05/2024 20:51

We shared with DS last year when he was 15. He had a proper bed, that was my only caveat. He wasn't going to be spending his holiday on a sofa or camp bed that was for sure, his legs wouldn't have fit! The year prior I shared a (very large) bed with him as DH and I were having to sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring. It was no big deal. I wouldn't share a double bed with him though, won't even share one of those with my husband, too small!
I would have shared with him this year but we managed to get a two bedroomed place in budget. We're not bothered about sharing, we manage with getting changed, even as simple as one person turns round while the other does a swift change. We would rather share and have a holiday than not.

thesugarbumfairy · 05/05/2024 20:52

I cant see an issue with sharing a room. I draw the line at sharing a bed though. Mine are 17 and 14. I always check that twins are available. Thats on me not the hotel.

Mum2jenny · 05/05/2024 20:56

I booked a twin room for me and my dd. They gave us a king sized bed. We slept in it as it wasn’t worth the fuss. What’s the big deal? If it were me and my ds it wouldn’t have mattered eithe. And they are both over the age of 18.

Sweetheart7 · 05/05/2024 20:59

thesugarbumfairy · 05/05/2024 20:52

I cant see an issue with sharing a room. I draw the line at sharing a bed though. Mine are 17 and 14. I always check that twins are available. Thats on me not the hotel.

Agree.

WittyBird · 05/05/2024 21:03

DD is 13 and we travel all over the place, often sharing a bed, never mind a room. No plans to stop.

appreciate it may be different with a son.

BruFord · 05/05/2024 21:07

I’ve just booked a twin room for two nights for DS (15) and I. As long as we have separate beds, we’re fine. I also shared a room with DD (19) a few months ago, separate beds.

Obviously having your own room is lovely, but it really adds to the cost and we’d rather spend that money on holiday activities than the time that we’re both asleep!

Wallywobbles · 05/05/2024 21:19

Im happy to share with my DDs but I snore so it's not great for them.

DSS absolutely not. Not even when he was 5. DH would share with him now but not with any of DDs by choice.

scrivette · 05/05/2024 21:22

I shared a room with my dad when I was 23 and we went away for a week together.

I share a bed with my 12 year old DS when we go away, they all argue about who is going to sleep in the same bed as me. I do put a pillow between us though as he likes to kick out. I can't imagine he will want to do it for much longer and he can give his younger siblings a turn.

BruFord · 05/05/2024 21:27

scrivette · 05/05/2024 21:22

I shared a room with my dad when I was 23 and we went away for a week together.

I share a bed with my 12 year old DS when we go away, they all argue about who is going to sleep in the same bed as me. I do put a pillow between us though as he likes to kick out. I can't imagine he will want to do it for much longer and he can give his younger siblings a turn.

Oh, the kicking @scrivette! I shared a bed with DD when she was 14 and discovered they she was a kicker. Luckily it was only for one night…never again. 😂

WeightoftheWorld · 05/05/2024 21:29

AuntMarch · 05/05/2024 19:45

I travel with my dad for a hobby sometimes and I'd share a room with him for a night or two- probably not any longer (because I like my own space, not because it is him).

I think the only answer is that's its acceptable as long as it doesn't make either of you uncomfortable 🤷‍♀️

Agree. I wouldn't want to spend many nights sharing a room with either or both of my DPs! But I would do so fine for a couple of nights.

ohtowinthelottery · 05/05/2024 21:34

I spent ages trying to book accommodation for 3 female friends who didn't want to share a double bed! In spite of my best efforts with filters on my search it regularly came up with 2 roomed apartments - one with a double and a one with a single bed. I dont know why the algorithms automatically assume that 2 of the 3 adults want to share a bed. I know lots of female friends who go away in groups and I'm pretty sure they'd rather not share a bed even if they're happy to share a room.

CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 21:35

It's fine at any age

rookiemere · 05/05/2024 21:36

Truffle55 · 05/05/2024 19:59

Thank you all for your comments - I’m glad I’m not completely potty! but maybe worrying unnecessarily.

I think for me, there seemed to be an assumption from the travel company that because I am female and he is male (and he could potentially be classed as an adult), then a double room was “ok”. When, it’s not.

think I just need to be extra vigilant when requesting a “TWIN” room. 😊

You are overthinking this.
If you want to be guaranteed a twin room, you need to specifically request one. I do this when away with friends as I can just about tolerate sharing with DH, but certainly nobody else.

GroceriesHelp · 05/05/2024 21:41

Agree that you are overthinking this. I don’t understand what your issue is? Ds and I share when we need to,it really is no big deal