Sexting

[RCMouse]

Hi
My 15yo daughter has been talking to a boy via Snapchat. She met him through her ex-boyfriend and met him in person twice when they hung out as a group. She messages and calls him all the time but maintains to me he is her ‘friend’ I periodically check her phone and came across these messages.They have been calling each other before I get home from work. After the call there were lots of messages about me coming home, him ‘cumming’ and going to finish off alone. During the call there were lots of photos sent but I couldn’t see them as they had already been opened. She is also saying she loves him. How do I deal with this? She had planned to meet him for the first time alone on Saturday in town. I don’t want her to continue this but also don’t want to react in a way that will make her continue and just hide it from me. I have not spoken to her at all yet. Her dad would completely over react so I haven’t mentioned it to him yet either. I feel banning her from contacting him will just make her sneak around and more importantly not speak to us if it goes wrong.

I am also concerned as he talked about being depressed and killing himself (although he said he had told his school and they had told his parents). I don’t want her to get into something so deep and worry about getting out because he might hurt himself.

Any advice welcome please.

Thank you

this is a massively difficult one! as you say you risk pushing her into secrecy if you go about this the wrong way.

i suppose you could warn her with my story, i was 15 and doing the exact same, until my ‘boyfriend’ shared my pics around the school and put them on a public ‘baitout’ account on snapchat. i was bullied so badly i had to finish my last two years of secondary school on the younger site.

it can all very easily stop being something between the both of them and end up in nasty boys group chats.

What about if you tell her you have seen the messages (as she knows you check her phone periodically) and maybe as a compromise suggest he comes to your house, while you are there of course so at least you have some control over what happens when they meet up. I’d be worried that they are arranging to meet up to have sec if they have already been acting it out in video chats and she may be pressured into something she isn’t ready for if they are left to meet up somewhere alone. Better to watch them ‘hang out’ at your house then her potentially get into a situation she can’t say no to in god knows where such as a park/old building site etc 🥴