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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

dd has asked if boyfriend can sleepover.....

86 replies

cajerz · 21/03/2008 22:46

She is 15, been with him just over a year. He's 16 and has always seemed a nice lad, spends alot of time here in her room which I am fine with.

Apparently, if we allow this, he will have her bed and she will sleep on the sofa! When I asked her what was the point of him stopping then she said it would mean that he didn't have to go home early.

What would you say?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 23:57

ah, see, i was never troubled by such Puritanical notions, boy .

i just thought, fuck 'em.

but that's a bit of a euro view.

BoysOnToast · 21/03/2008 23:57

i fond it weirder that i will never have that exp. i have come to accepot that i will not have any daughters... and im sad about it tbh. i think i have some wisdom worth passing on. and id LOVE to watch a girl fo mine flowering into womanhood.

brimfull · 21/03/2008 23:59

my dd bought her first pair of high heels last week-that made me smile

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 23:59

it's lovely enough to see them go from babyhood to girlhood, BOT.

Remotew · 21/03/2008 23:59

OK Boysontoast, Dont worry about what people thought of you. It's nothing to do with them. Everyone lives their lives according to their own rules. It is no-one elses business.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:01

i grew up in london. supposed to be pretty euro. but i was dealt the odd low blow by folk. a confident open minded girl is to be trodden down i have found. ideas of freedom and equality... pah. equal my arse. was called a slosher ffs. a fuckin slosher. for having sex 3 times. wtf is a slosher?? no need to ask really, is an evocative enough word. and this by friends.
yeah, right.

brimfull · 22/03/2008 00:03

women can be so cruel to each other,it's only to make themselves feel better

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:03

abouteve , you are right, and i thank you.

a little humbly actually since i seem to remember insulting you recently over something or other (oops)

Remotew · 22/03/2008 00:05

Dont be ashamed of being a confident openminded person. However you have felt put down, you have influenced your Dc's and other people around you to the benefit of them.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:06

cajerz - theres nowt wrong with having sex with a boy you love at this age. but your dd ought to be prepared for the way the world really views these theings... and taught to love herself, trust herself, be true to herself, and if she does all of that, not to give a flying fuck waht anyone else thinks.

expatinscotland · 22/03/2008 00:07

that's nowt wrong with having sex even if you don't love the person.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:07

thank you abouteve. [touched] [but pissed a bit so maybe thats not such a big surprise arf]

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:08

hey, i didnt say love the person, i said love herself. big differnece.

ive had great sex with people i didnt love.

expatinscotland · 22/03/2008 00:09

exactly, boys. that's what makes all the difference.

Remotew · 22/03/2008 00:09

Boysontoast, yes I was quite upset about that but then when I settled down I realised that my tongue in cheek statement might have come across, well, just wrong. Its only a forum and typed words can be misconstrued (sp). No hard feelings.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:16

AE - well thats nice. respect for that. cannot rmember the thread or subject but am impressed by moving on.

expat - are you growing garlic yet?? i have planted some. will send you some of my very own when it comes up.

expatinscotland · 22/03/2008 00:17

i am growing garlic!

fingers crossed.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:19

you are?? thats great! you have them under galss/plastic/fleece right? or indoors in pots? too early to plant them out even here... let alone up there

expatinscotland · 22/03/2008 00:22

they're in a windowsill.

have growbags at the ready for tatties and tomatoes, but we're due a hard frost just now so we're holding off.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:27

taties need tubs or bags or pots. you know about 'potting up'? youll get more out of em if they have deeper soil to grow in.

good for you, waiting. i havnt planted anythiong out yet. all my toms died of fckin blight outside last yr.. so am doing some indoors this yr.

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 00:28

i have spare bags for the purpose... can send em with instructions if you want them?? nae bother like...

alfiesbabe · 22/03/2008 00:30

I wouldnt have a problem with him staying. They're going to be in separate rooms! Why is there a problem?

ScienceTeacher · 22/03/2008 07:23

I would say no - he can go home early.

suwoo · 22/03/2008 07:47

I just wanted to concur with Expat on the subject of wonderful french lovers. I did not lose my virginity to him but learnt an awful lot from a 20 year old french man when I was 15. I don't know what I would do if it was my 15 year old DD, in fact I think DH would have more of a problem with it than me. I was another one of those slags liberated girls, that was 'at it' mostly outside, from the age of 14. Whether he stays or not will make little difference to their sex life IMO.

suwoo · 22/03/2008 07:49

That is if indeed they have embarked on one of course, sorry to assume

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