Does anyone actually enjoy the teen years and like their teenagers?

[MasterOfNobody]

I have been reading a few teen threads and they all sound so bleak with teens that think of nobody but themselves, swear, make bad choices, refuse to engage with parents etc.

it made me wonder whether I am exceedingly lucky (it would be luck, I am no great parent) or whether it’s just those who are actively enjoying the teen years don’t feel the need to post.

I have girls in years 13 and 11 and a boy in year 7 (so he’s not a teen). I love the teen years as their conversations get more relatable, the things they like to do as a family more similar to things I’d choose to do myself, they can help out more, they bring friends over who are run to talk to. I love spending time with them and am gutted to think my eldest will probably leave for uni this year.

they aren’t perfect, they can be inconsiderate and overly emotional and my Year 11 is best avoided for the day her period starts. I worry about them much more than I did when they were little and to be that’s the big challenge of having teens. Their problems are harder to fix and their mental health is so precious to me but sometimes precarious due to the pressures they put on themselves to do well at school and have good social lives and look good etc - it’s all so much for them to deal with. But on the whole they are a joy.

I should say I work outside the home 12 hours a day 4x a week and sometimes I wonder whether that is the key to enjoying them: I’m not here all the time and they have had to learn to do quite a bit for themselves. The cook our dinner, keep the place tidy and look after their brother and have to walk the dog etc so maybe that helps then not be ungrateful for things I do for them.

This isn’t a boast. I just really love teens and wondered how many others genuinely enjoy this stage. I also don’t want mums of younger kids to only hear how awful teens are, I was worried about these years and I wish I hadn’t wasted time worrying.

Yes! Mine are 18 (dd, now at uni) and 15 (ds, doing GCSEs). Dd went through a bit of a prickly stage at 15-16, but nothing too bad. They are both bright, articulate, funny and great company. They have been very little trouble at any age tbh. We (especially ds) miss dd, but we have a great time when she's back. It's great to see her spread her wings a bit. Dd and ds are the best of friends, and both have always happily spent time doing stuff as a family. We are very lucky.

No offence but 11 & 13 are hardly teens.

The stress and worry starts when the parties and drinking start. Boyfriends Not answering phones etc. Not revising.

Maybe you will be lucky

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver year 11 and 13, not age 11 and 13.

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver I think OP said yr 13 and yr 11.

Mine are a little older than yours @MasterOfNobody and I agree that I enjoy the teen years the best. I think having three made the early years quite challenging. I love being able to just pop out to the shops to pick something up. I enjoy the discussions we have and the different perspectives they have. I enjoy seeing the different careers they want to follow. There are challenges but we also have lots of laughs.

Yes I enjoyed it more than the baby toddler stage but then I like teenagers and it seems many other people don't. I like their energy, their humour, their uniqueness.

I think a lot of people who don’t enjoy these years, it’s not because they don’t like teens per se but that they don’t get to see that side of their own child due to various problems. If your child is depressed and it’s a struggle to get them out of bed you don’t see the energy, if they just barely talk to you you don’t get to enjoy the humour. I think teens as a group are great but the fact is some people have very different experiences.
Speaking as a parent of 2 basically easy ones and one extremely difficult….

I’m in the thick of the teen years and other than the pressure of exams I absolutely love them.

Me ! I love these years, much more than I imagined I would. Of course there are arguments, and two dds with raging PMT at the same time can be somewhat challenging.. but they are really good fun and very entertaining.
Dd2 was off to a party a week ago, her friends came here to get ready, upstairs was a fug of Elnett, music and laughter, it made me feel like a teenager again, it was so nice.

I think some people don't enjoy these years as they start to have health issues themselves and may be also looking after elderly parents. Then add teen angst in - recipe for difficult times.

I'm long past the teen years now (she's in her early 30's), but I loved it. I can count on the fingers of 1 hand the the issues I had with her. One example of her amazingness (not a word, I know), was when I arrived home after being away for 2 days attending one of my oldest friend's funeral (it was 500 miles away so needed a day before and a day after for travelling). I arrived back to a clean, tidy home with a meal cooked for me from scratch as "I didn't think you'd want to cook and you probably haven't eaten properly have you mum". She then sat with me and asked me how the funeral went and if there was anything I needed her to do for me. She was 17 at the time.

The ups and downs the dramas the fights the fall outs not all of it was nice.
But watching them grow into young men was a blessing.
And seeing the men they became my job was done.
Knowing i did it i raised them single handedly.

Wouldnt do it again but wouldnt change it for the world.
I'm always gonna be a parent but i dont do parenting anymore.
It's my time now.

Yes! I did a mid-life career switch to become a secondary teacher because I’d far rather be with teens.

And they were funny, curious, eager to learn (most of the time!) and have big conversations and share ideas.

Teens get such a bad rap, I’m always rooting for them, I have 3 of my own.

I found it much easier than the toddler years.

Ds was a dream teen. Dd (ASd) was a school refused which was really hard. But she’s back on track at 17. She was really really hard as a child as we didn’t know what was causing her behaviour. But she’s just a delight now. Every day I’m amazed at how mature and wonderful she is.

Teens are the best. Used to teach them too. They were all great. Even the difficult ones. I miss them. They were so funny and yet so aware and wise.

Yes they are fine so far but only preteens atm, however I don’t relate to this, the vast majority of threads I’ve seen have said the teen years are the best/easiest and baby stage worse/hardest. Personally I prefer the baby stage which most people hate!

3 teens. All absolutely delightful.

But I found the newborn stage much rougher than most people I know. So swings and roundabouts.

I love my teens.i dont really see much of the eldest though. So i miss the earlier years where we did lots together.

Yes the best years yet. Mine are 19-13.

I loved the teen years…..DS now 39 but conversation and developing opinions/moral compass discussions so rewarding. Also his expanding social circle and his growth in learning life skills wonderful to witness. As enriching for DH and I as for DS I think.

Oh yes, the humour of teens…. That is such a pleasure.

My teens were challenging at home but thankfully less so out of the house and online.

As someone who's worked with young adults I'd say it's very healthy for home to be where they let out their emotions and frustrations as it's the place they should feel safe to do so. It's also normal to value friendships strongly, risk take and push boundaries and as parents it's our job to manage/support that.

I'd be more concerned about a seemingly perfect teen as they are either deceiving their parents or pushing down their emotions with them. I speak from experience.

But equally some teens will be more impacted by hormones than others and environment, relationships at home, school and online will come into play so it's understandable each parents experience is different.

I loved the teen years. It was like a reward for me, seeing the person they had become and feeling so proud of them. My 2 DS's both had ADHD so we're difficult DC to raise as children. By the time they were teens they seemed to have learned strategies to cope more. They finally stopped getting up at the crack of dawn. They listened more and even asked me my opinion. I felt very well connected to them. The early years were far the hardest for me with little sleep and 2 DS's who could not keep still and needed extensive sports each day to wear them out a bit to keep them calm.

Loved every age of my ds growing up but he is 18 now and just such a lovely lad. He's kind, caring, considerate, hard working and very loving. I still get a couple of hugs a, day. He's a joy to be around, very funny but loves to talk and we're had some brill chats. He's very close to me and dh and his Nan, watches tv series with us and is happy to go to cinema with me and gigs with dad. He does all the teenage stuff too with friends but doesn't drink and is really responsible and trustworthy. Love him to bits but always have. He's s Fanta yeen.

Only one is a teen so far (turning 16 this summer) and they are a joy.... not taking it for granted, DS is 12 currently, and DH has warned me he was a hellish teenager, but then his parents' style of parenting pretty much ensured horrible teenage years. I appreciate you can still get a difficult one regardless of parenting, and DS has ADHD which can make kids particularly inclined to risky and difficult behaviour, so we'll see how that goes.

My siblings and I were all 'nice' teenagers who got on with our parents so I am very ill prepared if things kick off with DS, although I suspect he won't go too far off the rails.

Dd1 is almost 14 and genuinely my best friend. Shes darkly funny, clever hardworking and loves animals. She has ADD and ASD so her relationship with DH is definitely suffering in the teenage years, he is struggling to relate (although I suspect he also has ADD). She's not perfect nobody is (and neither am I but given how awful my relationship with my DM was in my teens I'm genuinely grateful for how close dd1 and I have become, I watched my best friend have a close relationship with her DM and was genuinely amazed that a Mum could be someone to talk to without judgement or fear or someone to laugh/socialise with, and watched my other best friend face rejection and disappointment for his sexuality and vowed that my own DC would never ever feel judged, fear or belittled, so far so good although it's early days.

I enjoyed my 3's teens. They were no trouble and it was great seeing their own interests and personalities developing. I chose to work with teenagers too. The.'infinite variety' was astonishing !