Page 4 | Son punched a hole in his headboard this morning

cindylouho1 · 2023-12-24T10:02:40+00:00

So. My delightful 16 year old punched a hole in his headboard this morning. My little girl ran into his room and woke him up shouting get up it's Christmas Eve! My son started shouting give me a minute. I went into his room half hour later to see if he was getting up so he could open his Xmas Eve box and I seen the hole in his headboard. I asked him what happened and he told me he punched it because he was tired and angry. This is the first time he's done anything like this. He apologised and seemed genuinely apologetic. I explained to him that's not on and he might need to speak to someone about his anger issues. I've got £500 Christmas money put away for him tomorrow. Should I take money of it for a new bed so he knows he cant get away with destroying things I've worked hard for. I don't want to have to do that but I can't let him think this is acceptable Any advise?

FantasyFox · 24/12/2023 13:14

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Vice? It's not a bloody vice, it is neither immoral or wicked.

Cornishclio · 24/12/2023 13:16

Surely he can just replace the headboard. No need for a whole new bad.

ConnieCroydon · 24/12/2023 13:31

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ForTonightGodisaDJ · 24/12/2023 13:32

Leave him alone else he'll punch it again! What is up with you and your daughter?

HelpMeGetThrough · 24/12/2023 14:23

Good grief just reading the first page of comments and the amount of people effectively saying that if your DD hadn’t gone into the room this wouldn’t have happened

To be fair, if she hadn't gone in, it probably wouldn't. To him, she's the very annoying little sister.

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 14:29

DS19 punched several holes in his bedroom walls. Mainly during the lockdowns from pure frustration. It is actually fairly normal behaviour and far better than punching another human.
It really isn't fairly normal behavior. I don't know where you live, but it's never been considered normal behavior anywhere i have lived.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 24/12/2023 15:02

Oh ffs OP, that is NOT a strange thing to consider. The fact you haven't is strange and I'm not surprised he's pissed off and frustrated living in your household.

Absolutely ridiculous and infantalising response.

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 15:17

SirenSays · 24/12/2023 11:17

I'd tell him he can live with it like that or replace it himself. I'd be putting a door lock into that Christmas eve box too.

Yes, I am sure that 16 yr old really really wants the pajamas and hot chocolate to "snuggle on the couch".

ginasevern · 24/12/2023 15:31

How embarrassing for a 16 year old to have a Christmas Eve box. I should think he was mortified. It's also a bit early to be handing them out isn't it. I also think DD should knock before entering his room. He needs privacy at that age. He could also be up to anything. I wouldn't withhold his money, he sounds genuinely sorry and I suspect it was a whole bunch of teenage frustration.

tothelefttotheleft · 24/12/2023 15:37

ginasevern · 24/12/2023 15:31

How embarrassing for a 16 year old to have a Christmas Eve box. I should think he was mortified. It's also a bit early to be handing them out isn't it. I also think DD should knock before entering his room. He needs privacy at that age. He could also be up to anything. I wouldn't withhold his money, he sounds genuinely sorry and I suspect it was a whole bunch of teenage frustration.

How is it embarrassing to be given presents?

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 15:58

tothelefttotheleft · 24/12/2023 15:37

How is it embarrassing to be given presents?

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I'm pretty sure no 16 yr old wants a box with pajamas hot chocolate and a childrens Christmas book. There is a time when you need to stop trying to force your Christmas "traditions".

PaperDoIIs · 24/12/2023 16:56

Does he actually need a new bead? Can't he just buy a new headboard ?

Tbh the whole setup seems odd.

purpletrees16 · 24/12/2023 17:18

Is it kind of thing he could fix with some sort of DIY. If the bed’s ok, the consequences could be doing it as a project?

depends on the headboard but following a YouTube tutorial for polyfiller for stud walls if it’s built like that or using pillow stuffing / foam from a cheap (or old) pillow if it’s material. Plus buying a stretchy headboard cover to hide the DIY (type of thing sold on your favorite direct import from china website - lots around). Then maybe a £10 staple gun to hold at the back if you can’t get a good cover size. I reckon it could be back to “hole, what hole” (if a little bit tatty) for £30.

ginasevern · 24/12/2023 17:34

@tothelefttotheleft

"How is it embarrassing to be given presents?"

Maybe you've got a 16 year old boy who still gets excited about new pyjamas, bath bombs and hot chocolate but my son's friends at that age would have visibly cringed. Receiving age sensitive presents (and treatment) is not embarrasing and is a totally different thing altogether.

Angrymum22 · 24/12/2023 17:34

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 14:29

DS19 punched several holes in his bedroom walls. Mainly during the lockdowns from pure frustration. It is actually fairly normal behaviour and far better than punching another human.
It really isn't fairly normal behavior. I don't know where you live, but it's never been considered normal behavior anywhere i have lived.

Lockdowns were not normal times, DS just happened to be 15/16 in 2021/22. He was definitely not on his own when it came to thumping walls. I suppose it depends whether you have plaster board walls or not. Slamming doors is another way of expressing frustration or throwing game console controllers around. Most of the time you are not aware of the behaviour but when you’re cooped up with only your parents for company for three months it’s difficult to find a release.
He did ask for a punch bag but it was difficult getting hold of any gym equipment during the lockdowns. His bedroom wall was a substitute.
I suppose if you have a teenage boy that can let off steam drinking bottles of alcohol in the local park or making a nuisance on bikes, scooter or skateboard , or wandering aimlessly in gangs around town centres on a Saturday your walls are probably not at risk. My DS’s cohort were unable to let off steam in the normal teenage way.

sprigatito · 24/12/2023 17:37

ginasevern · 24/12/2023 17:34

@tothelefttotheleft

"How is it embarrassing to be given presents?"

Maybe you've got a 16 year old boy who still gets excited about new pyjamas, bath bombs and hot chocolate but my son's friends at that age would have visibly cringed. Receiving age sensitive presents (and treatment) is not embarrasing and is a totally different thing altogether.

I've got a 21yo who is giddy with excitement about hot chocolate and Christmas Eve and has been in his garish snowman jumper for a week now 😊. Not everyone is the same. It may well be that OP's ds isn't feeling it, especially first thing in the morning, but there are plenty of young people who are still into it all!

StarlightLime · 24/12/2023 17:39

Giddy with excitement about hot chocolate? Wow.

SirChenjins · 24/12/2023 17:45

Of course you don’t take away some of his Christmas money - he’s apologised and is going to have to live with a broken bit of furniture as a consequence, something which won’t look good when his friends and future girlfriends/boyfriends come round. It’s just one of those things that often happens when you have teenagers and I would certainly be reminding your younger child that you knock and wait for an answer before you go into someone’s bedroom.

coldcallerbaiter · 24/12/2023 17:47

Mine did similar. If it is a one-off punch, no big deal.
He could have hurt his hand though. It’s the sort of thing you embarrass them with for years…

He can pay for the headboard himself

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 17:48

Angrymum22 · 24/12/2023 17:34

Lockdowns were not normal times, DS just happened to be 15/16 in 2021/22. He was definitely not on his own when it came to thumping walls. I suppose it depends whether you have plaster board walls or not. Slamming doors is another way of expressing frustration or throwing game console controllers around. Most of the time you are not aware of the behaviour but when you’re cooped up with only your parents for company for three months it’s difficult to find a release.
He did ask for a punch bag but it was difficult getting hold of any gym equipment during the lockdowns. His bedroom wall was a substitute.
I suppose if you have a teenage boy that can let off steam drinking bottles of alcohol in the local park or making a nuisance on bikes, scooter or skateboard , or wandering aimlessly in gangs around town centres on a Saturday your walls are probably not at risk. My DS’s cohort were unable to let off steam in the normal teenage way.

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Have you considered teaching them to use their verbal skills?

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 18:01

Angrymum22 · 24/12/2023 17:34

Lockdowns were not normal times, DS just happened to be 15/16 in 2021/22. He was definitely not on his own when it came to thumping walls. I suppose it depends whether you have plaster board walls or not. Slamming doors is another way of expressing frustration or throwing game console controllers around. Most of the time you are not aware of the behaviour but when you’re cooped up with only your parents for company for three months it’s difficult to find a release.
He did ask for a punch bag but it was difficult getting hold of any gym equipment during the lockdowns. His bedroom wall was a substitute.
I suppose if you have a teenage boy that can let off steam drinking bottles of alcohol in the local park or making a nuisance on bikes, scooter or skateboard , or wandering aimlessly in gangs around town centres on a Saturday your walls are probably not at risk. My DS’s cohort were unable to let off steam in the normal teenage way.

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Those methods of blowing off steam are not the norm where i live either. Perhaps we hold our kids to higher standards.

ginasevern · 24/12/2023 18:05

@sprigatito

"I've got a 21yo who is giddy with excitement about hot chocolate and Christmas Eve"

Fair enough and I hope you all have a lovely Christmas. My point was that teenage boys are (rightly or wrongly) noted for their sullen moods and insecurities. Kevin the teenager was more like a documentary than a comedy to so many parents! The many teenage boys I've known (son's friend I should add) really would be embarrassed and certainly would only admit under threat of death to getting a Christmas Eve box. A 21 year old is very different to a 16 year old.

LessonsInPhysics · 24/12/2023 18:25

Honeychickpea · 24/12/2023 18:01

Those methods of blowing off steam are not the norm where i live either. Perhaps we hold our kids to higher standards.

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Where do you live that no kids hang out in parks drinking, on bikes/scooters or hanging round town centres?
I would quite like to move there.

iamawarriorwhojustcrieseasily · 24/12/2023 18:31

Ah you can't hold this one against him over Christmas. You already say he was apologetic, and he won't even of been properly "with it" if he was woken up with a festive shock 😂

Let it be and have a lovely Christmas 🎄

jannier · 24/12/2023 21:02

sprigatito · 24/12/2023 17:37

I've got a 21yo who is giddy with excitement about hot chocolate and Christmas Eve and has been in his garish snowman jumper for a week now 😊. Not everyone is the same. It may well be that OP's ds isn't feeling it, especially first thing in the morning, but there are plenty of young people who are still into it all!

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At 7pm maybe early morning odd...I thought the boxes were to help the kids get ready for bed wind them down etc. not hype them up as yet more presents