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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Is this assault?

76 replies

Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 16:52

Long story...dps scooter broke down earlier, bloke round corner helped him bring it back on a trailer, dp asked 16 year old ds to help him get it off the trailer but he kept refusing (not great but stroppy teen). Before I knew it the blokes pushed past dp, charged in house, grabbed ds by neck of jumper and pushed him against the corner of bathroom, calling him a disgrace and then told him to p* off. I heard him but didn't see what he did but when he told me, I went out to him and said if he touches my kid again I'll have the police on him. Is this assault?

OP posts:
Sk8erboi · 22/12/2023 16:55

Technically yes it's assault but I'd be more concerned my kid was a selfish twat.
The guy shouldn't have done that and there's no excuse but how frustrating when asking for a hand and being refused when doing the family a favour.

fedupandstuck · 22/12/2023 16:58

Yes it's an assault. It doesn't matter what the alleged provocation was, it was a bizarre and aggressive escalation by the neighbour. Of course a sulky uncooperative teenager being ungrateful is irritating but you can't just escalate to a physical attack like that. Especially when your DP was there and could have mediated or helped the guy himself.

Original poster
Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 17:08

It was my dp who was asking my ds for help for himself and other bloke. I'd be enraged if my dp had done it, let alone a total stranger to my ds.

OP posts:
decionsdecisions62 · 22/12/2023 17:14

The neighbour was out of line and acted weirdly but ...Maybe that's why ds is so unhelpful then. You don't discipline him.

BoohooWoohoo · 22/12/2023 17:17

It is an over reaction by neighbour but your son’s behaviour is worse than “not great, stroppy teen” What consequence did you give your son for behaving like this ?

tiggergoesbounce · 22/12/2023 17:24

I would not allow anyone to put their hands on my DS, but then i would have made my DS help out the neighbour who was going out of his way to help the family, not stand their being disrespectful.

Does the neighbour know your family quite well ?

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 17:24

Legally it was an assault, but morally it was totally justified.

Hatty65 · 22/12/2023 17:29

Hmm. I think your neighbour was frustrated that he was putting himself out to help your DP, and your rude teenager didn't have the manners to do as he was asked.

Mummy won't always be there to threaten the nasty big boys. If your teenager is rude or stroppy to a bloke down the pub he might get a black eye the next time. It might teach him a lesson.

Original poster
Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 17:30

To answer comments on my parenting skills, I did tell him to go and help. Unfortunately they don't have the greatest relationship at the moment. This man is only friendly with dp, he has nothing to do with the family. I just can't really believe some seem to be defending this man's actions, at least my son didn't physically retaliate so I must've done something right🤷🏼

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BettyBakesCakes · 22/12/2023 17:33

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 17:24

Legally it was an assault, but morally it was totally justified.

Nice victim blaming

Original poster
Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 17:33

I thought that's what you do as a parent, regardless of their age and at 16 he is still a child in the eyes of the law and he is a grown man who should know better.

OP posts:
BettyBakesCakes · 22/12/2023 17:33

Yes it's assault and I'd report it too. Completely unacceptable and unnecessary.

CyberCritical · 22/12/2023 17:33

Yes it's assault

There is no excuse at all ever to grab a kid round the throat and push them against the wall because they're being unhelpful and moody.

It is for the parents to decide on any consequences for their son's behaviour, and if they were to resort to violence they would be bad parents.

randomtuesday · 22/12/2023 17:37

Can't believe some of the replies..yes it's assault and awful?!

tiggergoesbounce · 22/12/2023 17:37

I did tell him to go and help. Unfortunately they don't have the greatest relationship at the moment

But it was you asking, so he should have just done as he was asked, especially in these circumstances.

This man is only friendly with dp, he has nothing to do with the family
Maybe your DP has relayed stories of his "not the greatest relationship" with your child and his mate thought he would jump in at this instance of disrespect.

I just can't really believe some seem to be defending this man's actions, at least my son didn't physically retaliate so I must've done something right🤷🏼

Of course he was in the wrong, it wouldn't be a ring the police thing for me, i would definitely tell the guy he doesn't touch my DS. Your son probably didnt retaliate out of shock.

Harrysarseinthedogbowl · 22/12/2023 17:37

decionsdecisions62 · 22/12/2023 17:14

The neighbour was out of line and acted weirdly but ...Maybe that's why ds is so unhelpful then. You don't discipline him.

This. If it were my kid, he'd have had a clip round the ear to go with it.

StarlightLime · 22/12/2023 17:40

at least my son didn't physically retaliate so I must've done something right🤷🏼
No. Don't give yourself any pats on the back for that 🙄

Onelifeonly · 22/12/2023 17:40

His actions can not be defended. You don't assault someone just because you don't like their response. He sounds like a nasty piece of work. He might have been within his rights to tell your DS his response was selfish and unhelpful, but that's about it.

I won't jump to the conclusion, like others have, that your ds needs discipline, as I know it's not necessarily that simple.

SirCharlesRainier · 22/12/2023 17:42

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 17:24

Legally it was an assault, but morally it was totally justified.

This is absolutely fucking mental.

And another PP says being a bit unhelpful is "more concerning" than storming into someone's house to physically assault a child?

What the hell am I reading with some of these replies. Some of you shouldn't be allowed out of the house.

Hiddenvoice · 22/12/2023 17:44

Definitely assault. Whatever is going on and whatever ds said to your dp is really nothing to do with this other man. He barged his way into your house and assaulted your teenager. Did your dp say anything to this man too? Did he stand up for your son? If not then I’d be annoyed with him too.

blacksax · 22/12/2023 17:47

I'm on the fence with this one. Mainly because your ds is lazy, stroppy little shit who needs to learn a few manners and to be helpful around the home when asked, and he thoroughly deserved a monumental bollocking.

However, the neighbour went too far physically.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 22/12/2023 17:53

Neighbour went to far

BUT

it’s a good life lesson here for the teen that, if you behave like an arse, there’s always the possibility that someone will turn round and lamp you one and, on balance, it’s better not to behave like an arse.

blacksax · 22/12/2023 17:57

Great minds @PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister

Original poster
Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 18:15

Onelifeonly · 22/12/2023 17:40

His actions can not be defended. You don't assault someone just because you don't like their response. He sounds like a nasty piece of work. He might have been within his rights to tell your DS his response was selfish and unhelpful, but that's about it.

I won't jump to the conclusion, like others have, that your ds needs discipline, as I know it's not necessarily that simple.

Thank you for your comment, as you've said, if he'd just said something along those lines that would've been fair enough. My ds is and has always been as stubborn as a mule and if he doesn't want to do something, he won't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebirthdaycard · 22/12/2023 18:19

StarlightLime · 22/12/2023 17:40

at least my son didn't physically retaliate so I must've done something right🤷🏼
No. Don't give yourself any pats on the back for that 🙄

Edited

Why? Because you say? There's 16 year olds ( and younger) running around with knives and using them and even if my ds can be stroppy and unhelpful at least he isn't doing this. Were you never a teenager?🙄

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