Is this assault?

[Bluebirthdaycard]

Long story...dps scooter broke down earlier, bloke round corner helped him bring it back on a trailer, dp asked 16 year old ds to help him get it off the trailer but he kept refusing (not great but stroppy teen). Before I knew it the blokes pushed past dp, charged in house, grabbed ds by neck of jumper and pushed him against the corner of bathroom, calling him a disgrace and then told him to p* off. I heard him but didn't see what he did but when he told me, I went out to him and said if he touches my kid again I'll have the police on him. Is this assault?

Yes he is his dad. My ds is just having issues with him at the moment. I'm hoping it will improve. I don't think it's that rare that teens go through a stage of "I hate you", Kevin type attitude but that is none of this blokes business and doesn't give him the right to do what he did.

Not implying that you're stating that btw. Know you're not.

Yes it was definitely assault, I think the crime would be classed as common assault if the police were to charge the guy. He was possibly also trespassing by entering your house uninvited!

Your ds's unhelpful attitude possibly does need addressing, but this was the wrong way done by the wrong person.

How is ds? Is he shaken up? How does he feel about pursuing it - or not? Would he feel like you don't protect him and are not bothered if anyone barges in and assaults him? (That last question is aimed at pp's who recommended dropping it as much as at you OP).

Out of interest, what does your husband think about it?

He said he wants nothing more to do with him.

He was definitely shaken up at the time, he's ok now though, I think he appreciated that at least I defended him, rightly or wrongly.

Your DS should have helped.

However, the man's actions were disgraceful, it is assault and I'd definitely report it. This also gives the message to your son that you support him. I hope your DS is OK.

Did DS deserve to be assaulted by the neighbour?

I think you were right to defend him, it's important our kids know we are in their corner and have got their back.

blimey i completely misunderstood.

if the scooter was so heavy it hurt your adult partner’s back, why was he asking a child to do it?

Literally gobsmacked at reading anyone defending a man attacking a teenager

Ah OK, I'm not sure why I assumed he was more likely to be a step dad.

I agree with you - teenage stropiness isn't ideal, but the behaviour you've described in this thread sounds well within the bounds of normal at this age. I'd take the lack of helpfulness seriously but equally I wouldn't make a bigger issue than it is.

It's good that your DP has decided this bloke was well out of order. In fact, it could actually be an opportunity to build some bridges between your DP and DS - DS will know on some level that he was being a pain in the arse, and if he sees his dad take his side regardless that could really benefit their relationship.

Think he wanted 3 people to lift it instead of 2.

Why the hell do so many people replying on here think that it’s totally ok for a grown man to walk into someone else’s home, grab a young lad and assault him?
If this has been a slightly different scenario and it had been OP (or her dd16) who had been the one who refused to help and the neighbour did this to either of them everyone on here would be outraged. Why is it ok for her teen son to experience this and it’s seen as a ‘life lesson’?
That’s madness.

Of course it's assault. I'd have actually called the police too.

Some of the responses on this thread are bonkers.

He said he wants nothing more to do with him.

The neighbour or your son?

I agree with this. The man is an absolute arse, but regarding your son, there's being a bit stubborn (I'll do my homework later not now) and there's being selfish and unhelpful when he's really needed. My teens wouldn't think twice about helping out if they were asked.

The bloke

I have 3 brothers and I remember their sulky teenage years very well, my parents brought us up with manners and to be respectful but sometimes outside influences can really impact a teenager. Sorry but I don’t think it’s fair all the anger you’re receiving @Bluebirthdaycard

No matter what your son said to his own dad, this other man should not have done what he did. He was aggressive when he had no right to be.
yes your son should have helped but the situation got out of hand due to another adult.
I would hope your partner completely cuts ties with this man.

Wtf. I have well behaved boys, but even they have had their stroppy stubborn moments. The most that's happened is that I've shouted at them, I didn't ever feel the urge to assault them. Which is what this bloke, an almost stranger, did to the OP's son.

Jeez, I can't believe the "he deserved it" replies. If it was the blokes wife who'd refused to help would she have deserved a battering? If your DH had asked you and you'd refused would he have done the same to you, and would the replies here be the same? But because it's a teenage boy he deserved it. Right.

Ffs.

Might do the little bugger some good, to find that there can be consequences to his arseholery

Ooh aren't you lovely? I think I know who the bigger arsehole was in this situation🤔 are you the actual bloke by chance?

I'm seriously wondering if this teen had been a girl and this had happened how different the responses would have been.

Obviously the neighbour was in the wrong and it's assault. The kid is 16 ffs, they're not known for being the most rational or helpful of creatures. Maybe the kid should have been more helpful but it's not acceptable for an almost stranger to storm in to their home and hold them by the neck of their clothes to a wall.

This is the weirdest thread I’ve read on MN, which is really saying something.

It seems many posters would happily be assaulted for not doing a family member a favour. I can only imagine you’re all either doormats or violent yourself!

Probably not the bloke, seeing as I am awash with double-X chromosomes.

You enjoy your arseholery inspection.

The kid wasn't hurt. he was just given a shock.

(And actually - I AM lovely. 😊)