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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Driving lessons..a life skill or luxury?

134 replies

Uurrjb · 17/11/2023 21:49

Hi do you view driving lessons like swimming lessons?

You learn from parents and have a top up from paid lessons to improve (obviously you have to have formal lessons from an instructor for driving and the f you have a spare but of cash for a weekly swim club)
trying to work out…when your teen is ready to learn to drive do you pay like you would for additional swim lessons when little (cause you had a toddler and a baby and life etc) and it’s an an essential life skill to swim (and you can take them out to practice)

or is it a birthday present as it’s a lifestyle choice and it’s actually quite expensive

OP posts:

sittinginacafe · 18/11/2023 07:22

I think it’s a bad idea to learn young if you aren’t then going to drive pretty regularly. I know a lot of women who have passed their test but are too anxious to drive, because they passed and then never really drove anywhere

pilates · 18/11/2023 07:24

I think it depends on the circumstances. It’s not just driving lessons. Once they pass it’s the cost of a car, exorbitant insurance, petrol and upkeep. I wasn’t prepared to be responsible for that part of it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/11/2023 07:30

The older you are the harder it is to save and prioritise the cost of lessons

So if you can learn at 17 with either lesson or a parent /friend taking you out every night it's better

I got a set of ten lessons for my 17birthday. I was working at my local coop and earnt maybe £38 (33yrs ago) for 3 evenings and a Saturday while at college

And I paid for a lesson a week at £10 (think it's now £40 a lesson and many insist on a double lesson) 🙀🥲

Dad took me out twice a week

Then every night week before my test

Practice is how your learn

So need few lessons to get the basics but just general driving round local town /empty car park

In those days shops Shut Sunday so could go to Tesco sains carpark and practise without many cars being there

Passed first time and brought my own car (dad lent me the money £850 and I paid him back £85 a month for 10mths) once working in full time job at 18

katienana · 18/11/2023 07:34

Life skill. I found it really hard and stopped learning in my first year at uni, then took it up again several years later. Finally passed aged 28 and 3 months pregnant. But by then I'd missed out on employment opportunities, had much longer commutes etc and it would have been much better to have entered the workforce with a licence.
I'm always explaining what I'm doing to my sons when I drive, how a roundabout works, that sort of thing. I was completely clueless when I started learning.

TeenDivided · 18/11/2023 07:37

Life skill unless you live somewhere like London.
It worries me quite a lot that DD2, 19, isn't learning yet due to MH/ confidence issues. She wants to work in a kennels and round here at least they are in the middle of nowhere, nowhere near any public transport.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/11/2023 07:40

So yes a life skill as I had to drive for my job that I wanted to do at 17/18

30yrs + on I still drive for my
Job and can be 60/90min drive each way traffic permitting and local transport wouldn't be possible

rookiemere · 18/11/2023 07:44

It is a life skill for most, albeit a very expensive one.
DS lessons cost £60 per 1.5 hr.

Also actually being able to drive a car is very expensive. Putting him on the insurance of my 9 year old A3 cost £1000 - and that's with swapping to the cheapest provider. Then if he was paying maintenance costs and road tax that could easily be another £500-1000.

We are lucky because we had a car that was vaguely suitable, other people have a DC learning but no car for them to drive ( too big or expensive to insure) if they pass.

It really grinds my gears when posters castigate an OP who is on minimum wage or in an abusive relationship or whatever for not being able to drive or owning a car, as if most people have a few thousand sitting around for just that purpose.

HedgehogOBrien · 18/11/2023 07:46

My parents wouldn’t let me learn as a teenager so I didn’t drive until I was late 20s. I think it’s probably the most useful skill I have. I can’t understand why my parents wouldn’t want me to learn (that’s a whole other story!!)

theunbelievabletruth · 18/11/2023 07:47

Life skill but doesn't have to be prohibitively expensive. I have taught my 8 dc/sdc from their 17th birthdays.

Double lesson for birthday. Then practice practice practice... stand alone learner insurance on my car and then whenever I need or they need to go somewhere, they drive. Another lesson before test and job done.

We live v rurally so this is as much for me as them,

Daffyyellow · 18/11/2023 07:58

It depends on your circumstances - budget and location.

For us it’s a life skill, rural living and wanting to encourage independence.

Missingmyusername · 18/11/2023 08:01

Life skill.
DM never drove and it seriously affected her later in life. She’s completely dependant on me for everything, now that my father has passed.

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 18/11/2023 08:06

Essential life skills that is taught by professionals - cant thinknof anything worse than teaching them myself!! But both my DC did come out to practice in their own cars when their instructor said they were ready to practice as they had learnt the manoeuvres etc.

Both had a car for their 17th & driving lessons paid for. Both passed within 4 months of turning 17. Absolutely necessary to learn to drive, not a luxury at all.

We saved from when they were born to afford to buy them a car & lessons for their 17th as we view it as a non negotiable part of becoming an adult.

Madameprof · 18/11/2023 08:07

Life skill here but still main part of birthday present for 17th. My dd2 15 insists she doesn't want to learn but we'll see. I know people who learnt later in life and I do think like most things it's easier to learn when you're young. Two people I know who learnt in their 30s or 40s are still very nervous drivers years after passing whereas I've been driving since 17 and feel totally calm and confident driving.

Madameprof · 18/11/2023 08:09

Oh and yes we're paying for weekly lessons because I know how to drive but not how to pass the test! I take my dd1 out to practise as well but often she says her instructor tells her not to do things that I tell her to do. I trust him to get her through the test, practice with me is real world skills.

Ohnoooooooo · 18/11/2023 08:11

life skill.
we are going to start with paid lessons and then practise ourselves except it depends on how much it will send car insurance premiums up when I say we have a learner driver!

Hmmthatsgoodchicken · 18/11/2023 08:12

I love being able to drive. I didn't pass my test until I was 30. (It would have been sooner if it wasn't for COVID 🙄)
DD was in year 8 by then and if she ever needed picking up from school it was a logistical nightmare.

DD has already said she wants to learn at 17, so I'm going to make it as easy as possible for her to do so.
She's 14 now and has a job, so she has started putting a little bit of money away for driving lessons.
So if she's saves £1000 and I give her £1000 she should be well on her way.

Madameprof · 18/11/2023 08:17

I can't believe the person who said they'd been a nanny and didn't drive and it didn't cause problems! I think most people looking to employ a nanny would require driving otherwise you are extremely limited where you can go with the kids.

AvengedQuince · 18/11/2023 08:17

It depends where you live. We are in a town surrounded by more rural areas and I would say life skill here. Lessons are still for 17th and following Christmas as I couldn't afford presents too (he will get food and a couple of t-shirts etc). Luckily DS isn't into 'stuff' anyway and worked over the summer so was able to replace his phone and headphones himself.

GameOverBoys · 18/11/2023 08:20

Depends where you live. I live centrally in a small city with good public transport so not many people had a licence as teenagers let alone a car.

Longma · 18/11/2023 08:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

sanityisamyth · 18/11/2023 08:35

Definitely a life skill. DS is turning 10 in December and he's asked for a driving lesson. There's a company near us who do young driver lessons so that's his birthday present!

Patchworksack · 18/11/2023 08:44

Life skill but blooming expensive one! My 17 yr old DS is learning, for his birthday he got a block of driving lessons from us and money from other relatives towards more. Insurance once he passes on the tiny car we bought for him to learn in is £1k. He has a job and will contribute towards costs. I’m sure for lots of families it’s completely unaffordable.

tinytemper66 · 18/11/2023 08:44

Definitely a life skill.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/11/2023 08:49

Madameprof · 18/11/2023 08:17

You would be amazed how many nannies in my Fb nanny group can't drive

And take long buses rides with kids to get to the swimming lesson or dance or gym

As a parent I would want a driver for my nanny if I had one

I knew I needed to drive to be a nanny hence the lessons at 17

Thejackrussellsrule · 18/11/2023 08:53

Essential life skill.

We live in the countryside, nearest unreliable bus service is 6 miles away!

DH and I both decided that if we lived where we did, it was our responsibility to give lifts when they were younger and get them on the road when they were old enough.

DD said she was so glad she learned when she did, it's given her more opportunities in her career.

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