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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Driving lessons..a life skill or luxury?

134 replies

Uurrjb · 17/11/2023 21:49

Hi do you view driving lessons like swimming lessons?

You learn from parents and have a top up from paid lessons to improve (obviously you have to have formal lessons from an instructor for driving and the f you have a spare but of cash for a weekly swim club)
trying to work out…when your teen is ready to learn to drive do you pay like you would for additional swim lessons when little (cause you had a toddler and a baby and life etc) and it’s an an essential life skill to swim (and you can take them out to practice)

or is it a birthday present as it’s a lifestyle choice and it’s actually quite expensive

OP posts:
Sticktoslimmingworld · 17/11/2023 23:48

@SoCalLiving totally understand the August born pressure my son was the same and if he had not passed in the Feb half term before A levels in the summer he would have taken a break too. Another added pressure for summer babies to contend with!

SoCalLiving · 17/11/2023 23:48

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 23:30

Essential life skill. As a few posters have said, some employers won't even look at a candidate who can't drive. And if you are already employed within a company (from a younger age, like 18,) you won't advance much without being able to drive.

I think some employers see people who have learned to drive as being more determined and go-getting, and capable of learning what is basically quite a hard thing to do. If there are no health issues that prevent driving, I do actually wonder why people won't learn, and as an employer it will very likely put me off a particular candidate.

I know someone will come on to the thread now, and say they soared through the ranks at work, travelled the world, and became CEO of several companies -without being able to drive. But in the real world, it is an important life skill, it is quite necessary for most careers, and it will affect career opportunities in a lot of cases.

I find this perspective interesting!!! And I'm not disputing this, but learning to drive never personally came up for me in my working life and I've never thought how it might of !

I now work and live in LA (infamously car centric and it still hasn't come up!) I think it really depends what the role is, none of my consulting/research/city positions have ever needed driving as a requirement or asked about it. Even when I was a Nanny, in the UK and abroad, it was never a problem!

However I can totally see how it might come up for jobs though (even if I disagree with its necessity in certain roles), and my kids here will definitely be learning to drive here as soon as they turn 16.

Copperoliverbear · 17/11/2023 23:49

Yes life skill

Aquamarine1029 · 17/11/2023 23:49

Driving is absolutely a life skill in my family. It's not mandatory to pay for lessons in order to get your license. Neither of my kids ever took paid lessons. My husband and I taught them how to drive.

SoCalLiving · 17/11/2023 23:51

It's fascinating to me how many people taught their own kids to drive! Growing up very few of my friends had their parents teach them and if it was it was just once or twice before the exam date. I didn't think it was that common in the UK, I thought most people paid for all of their lessons!

SoCalLiving · 17/11/2023 23:54

To directly answer the question I think it can be both a necessary life skill and a luxury. However, unlike something like swimming there aren't many (if any) programs to teach the skill without forking over a lot of money! Whilst the option to teach your kids yourself is a valid way to reduce costs, I would just say that that's not always an option to some households that may also be unable to afford lessons.
It would be nice if they did a Drivers Ed course in sixth forms/colleges that students could take as an enrichment. Our local High School has those options and it's both theory focused and involves some practical element. Would be nice if that could be an option in the UK!

Aquamarine1029 · 17/11/2023 23:59

SoCalLiving · 17/11/2023 23:51

It's fascinating to me how many people taught their own kids to drive! Growing up very few of my friends had their parents teach them and if it was it was just once or twice before the exam date. I didn't think it was that common in the UK, I thought most people paid for all of their lessons!

It's fascinating to me that so many people pay for lessons for their children. My mum and dad taught me, my husband's parents taught him. I know how to drive, I can teach my kids how to drive, just like I've taught them countless other things. Sometimes I wonder if people don't realise that you aren't required to pay for lessons.

marniemae · 18/11/2023 00:22

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 23:30

Essential life skill. As a few posters have said, some employers won't even look at a candidate who can't drive. And if you are already employed within a company (from a younger age, like 18,) you won't advance much without being able to drive.

I think some employers see people who have learned to drive as being more determined and go-getting, and capable of learning what is basically quite a hard thing to do. If there are no health issues that prevent driving, I do actually wonder why people won't learn, and as an employer it will very likely put me off a particular candidate.

I know someone will come on to the thread now, and say they soared through the ranks at work, travelled the world, and became CEO of several companies -without being able to drive. But in the real world, it is an important life skill, it is quite necessary for most careers, and it will affect career opportunities in a lot of cases.

How is it quite necessary for most jobs?! What job do you do? I have never come across this

KThnxBye · 18/11/2023 00:59

A total luxury, in no way an essential skill.

I think that the people who feel it is an essential skill often lack skills in navigation on foot and via public transport. It is common in my circle for people who have the luxury of learning to drive and being able to afford to buy, run, maintain and insure a car to suddenly be “unable” to get to x place, group, meet-up etc, because of lack of car. The same event/location I’ve been navigating to without a car for weeks/months/years. I also notice many people reliant on a car have very little idea of what is essential in terms of luggage/kit when out and about, especially, with children. I think navigating rurally and in more urban area,ps, day or night, without a car is absolutely a skill. Preferably without a smartphone too….knowing what kit is essential…how to read a map….bus routes….timetables….tickets and changes. These are skills too. How many parents teach their kids theses?

(nb I can drive)

LondonQueen · 18/11/2023 01:13

It's a life skill unless you live in a city with good transport links. However with the cost of living I'm sure a lot of low income families can no longer afford to provide them.

Ponderingwindow · 18/11/2023 01:19

Where we live it is an essential life skill. Paying for lessons, insurance, and a car is just something parents have to plan on from the day they decide to have a child. The alternative is that you drive your child everywhere, including school and work which just becomes increasingly impractical.

coxesorangepippin · 18/11/2023 01:19

Life skill

EBearhug · 18/11/2023 01:43

Depends where you live. I grew up rural lying, no public transport. If you grow up in a bug city with decent public transport, less essential.

My father was a school governor and the Head wanted to stop 6th formers using free lessons for driving lessons. Dad successfully argued that we had a large rural catchment and driving was as important as A-levels to job prospects; it doesn't matter how qualified you are if you can get to a job. It also opened up other jobs such as tractor driving, deliveries and do on, not just being able to drive to an office.

If you can drive, you can choose not to (I didn't for most of my 20s, as I couldn't afford to run a car.) But if you never learn, it's not a choice, and your choice of where to live and work I'd more limited. I don't always drive if I have the option of taking the train, but it can be very useful sometimes.

Pipsquiggle · 18/11/2023 06:23

There are 2 main factors

  1. Money - can you afford lessons?
  2. Location - I grew up in the country, no public transport. If I wanted to get around I had to learn to drive. I passed my test at 17 and 3 months.
Compare that to my husband who is London born and bred. Didn't really start properly learning to mid to late 20s
floofbag · 18/11/2023 06:34

Life skill here , we made our dd do it and she hated it . She doesn't drive now as at uni but she can and that's all that matters .

Everyone I know who started to drive late is a terrible driver !

CrikeyMajikey · 18/11/2023 06:48

Life skill. But, an expensive one. We live 3 miles in any direction from town/shops with very few buses passing through. I insisted DS learn to drive at 17 and although he was against it: he can be a bit lazy, reluctant to ‘waste’ money and wanted to wait until after Uni, driving has enhanced his life in every way. He drives to 6th form, picks his mates up for football, nips to McDonalds at lunchtime and heads to the gym in the evenings after revision. It’s given him independence he never knew he needed.

megletthesecond · 18/11/2023 06:59

Life skill. DS has just started learning on his 17th birthday. I'd squirrellled away just over £1k to get him started on lessons, that should last until the end of Jan.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 18/11/2023 07:04

I think it depends where you live. When our dc were teens we lived very rurally. One bus an hour during the day, none after 6pm or on Sundays.

DS2 cycled everywhere and didn't want to learn to drive. I insisted as I felt that it's much harder to learn to drive once you've left home as no opportunity to practice etc.

He went to uni in a large city and now lives in the centre of another large city and doesn't own a car. However, his job entails visiting various sites around the country, many of which can't be reached by public transport. He then has to use a pool car from work to access them.

DS1 lives rurally - not his choice but only place he could afford to rent -and works somewhere with no public transport.

Boymum2104 · 18/11/2023 07:10

KThnxBye · 18/11/2023 00:59

A total luxury, in no way an essential skill.

I think that the people who feel it is an essential skill often lack skills in navigation on foot and via public transport. It is common in my circle for people who have the luxury of learning to drive and being able to afford to buy, run, maintain and insure a car to suddenly be “unable” to get to x place, group, meet-up etc, because of lack of car. The same event/location I’ve been navigating to without a car for weeks/months/years. I also notice many people reliant on a car have very little idea of what is essential in terms of luggage/kit when out and about, especially, with children. I think navigating rurally and in more urban area,ps, day or night, without a car is absolutely a skill. Preferably without a smartphone too….knowing what kit is essential…how to read a map….bus routes….timetables….tickets and changes. These are skills too. How many parents teach their kids theses?

(nb I can drive)

Yep & the same type of people who suddenly 'can't get in to work' if something goes wrong with their car let alone think twice about using public transport, or even worse.. walking lol

LolaSmiles · 18/11/2023 07:14

Life skill but I don't think it necessarily has to be done at 17, especially if DC are considering going to university where they're unlikely to take their car.

Shadowsindarkplaces · 18/11/2023 07:17

I think it depends on a number of factors
17 year old, working, in the sticks, yes arguably essential
17 years old at school with transport available no its a luxury

17 as the age to drive was set when kids left school at 15. 2 years to learn other adults' skills first.
Raising the driving age to 20 now would be sensible. Kids are far less mature as a general rule than when they left school/ home earlier.

Pipsquiggle · 18/11/2023 07:18

Boymum2104 · 18/11/2023 07:10

Yep & the same type of people who suddenly 'can't get in to work' if something goes wrong with their car let alone think twice about using public transport, or even worse.. walking lol

Show quote history

Do you live in London or another city with great public transport?

So everyone has to work within a couple of miles to where they live?
How life limiting

Shadowsindarkplaces · 18/11/2023 07:20

I learnt at 26( lived in sticks, got a moped at 18 instead)
DS1 now 35 doesn't drive, uses public transport
DS2 uses motorcycle
DD learnt at 30.

Starsalign · 18/11/2023 07:20

If you can afford to pay for lessons then that's great, if you can't though don't feel guilty. I don't know anyone growing up who had mummy and daddy pay for their lessons, most of our parents didn't drive themselves or didn't have a car either so couldn't teach; we all drive now- most had part time jobs at college and paid using that. I don't think it's true that for most jobs you need a car, or that for a lot of areas its essential- it makes life easier for sure but some people on here act like you'll have zero life or opportunities if you don't drive.

Badatthis · 18/11/2023 07:21

Life skill. Even if you can't afford or choose not to own a car, then to be able to drive someone to hospital, or rent a van when you want to move your stuff is invaluable.