Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What are these drugs?

98 replies

Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 10:37

I think they are called Pingers.

What are these drugs?
OP posts:
BringBackTeletext · 29/10/2023 18:40

SS don’t just work with kids

wishmyhousetidy · 29/10/2023 18:52

I think it’s worth a call but they may not because of his age. However you have younger children so maybe. My daughter was only 16/17. Drugs are so depressing, particularly as teens think due to programmes they see and ease of getting drugs that it is not the big deal it is. We did ask our daughter to leave not because we didn’t love her but because she was not getting better living at home. It was too easy to carry on with the drugs and hang out with the same ‘friends’. She moved out of area and so far it has been the right move- but it’s still a worry. She is however doing much better. I can’t tell you to make him leave home but maybe making life a bit harder for him may work. They have to come to the realisation themselves that drugs are a mugs game. Feel for you - it’s so hard and like you we were totally out of our depth I know nothing about drugs

Crikeyalmighty · 29/10/2023 18:58

@Cumbrianlife I am so very sorry. My BIL was we think spiked yesterday (in his 50s ) at a wedding . Went from very slightly merry to full on zonked in 10 minutes- very frightening. There were a few unsavoury characters at this wedding and he made the mistake of turning his back on a pint. These drugs these days are no laughing matter. OP-I would honestly read the riot act- it only takes1 bad reaction

Eddyraisins · 29/10/2023 18:58

I don't have 3 dots on mine.

What are these drugs?
MintyCedric · 29/10/2023 19:02

I’d seriously consider police involvement tbh. My concern would be that your vulnerable, neurodivergent son is being target by County Lines dealers in which case you will need a lot of help to untangle this.

Original poster
Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 19:06

Three lines top left corner

What are these drugs?
OP posts:
Original poster
Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 19:11

I'm scared of contacting police. But he is threatening to steal our stuff if we don't give home the money or the weed back 😔. He has barricaded himself in the room. I really don't know what to do, feel like I have already lost him to it.

OP posts:
Eddyraisins · 29/10/2023 19:14

Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 19:11

I'm scared of contacting police. But he is threatening to steal our stuff if we don't give home the money or the weed back 😔. He has barricaded himself in the room. I really don't know what to do, feel like I have already lost him to it.

This is awful. I do understand about the police but early help may help?

wishmyhousetidy · 29/10/2023 19:34

we locked away valuables. Ours threatened the same but I still flushed stuff down the loo. You cannot be held to ransom by him. We knew ours was taking drugs but said they could not bring drugs into the house. Re draw the boundaries and if he cannot keep to them he needs to leave home

Original poster
Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 19:42

I have warned him numerous times especially when I could smell it on him but couldn't find it. He wants his scales and bags back. He is holding us to ransom and now threatening to get his mates around 😔 feel like a living nightmare.

OP posts:
Woush · 29/10/2023 19:51

You have a child In the house? As a matter of urgency, get someone (grandparents?) to collect younger child fir tonight. This could get very stressful and frightening for them.

I'd then hold firm on your boundaries. Don't be afraid of calling thr police if you feel in danger.

monsteramunch · 29/10/2023 19:57

I agree with PP, get your younger child out of the house tonight.

Even if you call the parents of a close school friend of theirs and just say you're having some family issues with your eldest and need your younger one to be out of the house so you can have open discussions, so can they have them for the night and take them to school in the morning. I'm sure someone would do this as a one off favour.

Otherwise best case scenario you're going to have the extra worry about your younger one tonight, worst case scenarios are awful and everything in between the two is potentially upsetting and unfair on the youngest.

I really feel for you OP.

Re the scales and bags, has he now admitted that he's dealing?

Eddyraisins · 29/10/2023 20:00

I feel for you too op and agree with the above advice.

Original poster
Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 20:06

Yes only weed and baccy. He just thinks he is moving it on. He wants the bags, scales and £20 for the weed back.

OP posts:
wishmyhousetidy · 29/10/2023 20:08

Agree with above. Ss will take this seriously- they felt at one times county lines a possibility with ours but it wasn’t. But thugs did turn up at our door. Get police involved and ss- you have nothing to lose now and you cannot carry on like this. Start making the calls , he is calling all the shots. I spoke to a charity that said if county lines are involved they hate parents that are ‘busy bodies’ getting police involved etc and tend to move away from these peoples young people. Your son is involved in some crap, whether heavily or he may just be calling your bluff but whatever it is totally unacceptable and you have to take back control- even if that means asking him to leave

Woush · 29/10/2023 20:09

I suggest you tell this older son to leave the house for tonight

HopAPot · 29/10/2023 20:12

Without a lab test they could literally be anything.

Proudmummy67 · 29/10/2023 20:15

Yes Garys is a slang term for ecstasy. There was a football player for Everton called Gary Ablett in the 90s... Ablett rhymed with tablet. Then the tablets got the knickname Gary's after him. I'm surprised the term is still being used.

Thinking of you and hope things work out!

EmptyYoghurtPot · 29/10/2023 20:16

He threatened you? Then call the police. It might be the wake up call he needs or it might turn him against you but I’d rather that than getting a call from the police when things have gone seriously wrong.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 29/10/2023 23:11

I don’t know if you saw my earlier post but social services have a duty to any other child. You need to safeguard them too and having him in the house atm is not ok.
You can’t have minors in a home with this situation any longer.
Something needs to change urgently. I would ring the GP to get a referral to Early Help first thing in the morning. They are the initial starting point and some children are escalated to a child in need depending on the circumstances. I am referring to your other child not the 19 year old.

greatvisuals · 29/10/2023 23:22

Meltinthemiddle · 29/10/2023 20:06

Yes only weed and baccy. He just thinks he is moving it on. He wants the bags, scales and £20 for the weed back.

He will owe the drugs or the money to someone so you could get him in huge trouble if you leave him exposed to a dealer who wants their gear/money back.

You need a frank chat with him. Be calm, ask him how deep he is in this and how he can get out of it.

Help him out of the deal then perhaps he can put it behind him.

PS - drugs have been easy to get since the 90's. Its not new. Just get younger people to deal them is the difference. Before smartphones it was a guy in t eh pub. It was just as easy - you just had to walk a bit further.

RoseBucket · 29/10/2023 23:22

You can ask the Police for advice, he sounds scared and likely in deeper than he can handle. You need support yourself to support him, he doesn’t need to know you have spoken with them.

Windmill34 · 30/10/2023 00:12

He is selling it , either for someone and getting his cut. That’s why he wants the things back, hes scared

with having scales and bags he’s getting in deeper, so he will either buy more weed with his share he’s made or buying things he can’t afford
clothes, games, etc

you need to give him the riot act. Do not let him intimidate you in your own home.
Are you a single parent? They think there the hard lads and no one will touch them !
it’s street cred.

my son when younger 16 ran up a debt of £160
on weed(how he thought he could clear that I’ll never now)
the guy came round our house in his car playing loud music sat outside my gates
Son wouldn’t go out, so I went. That’s when I found out
i went to cash machine, gave the lad the money
told him to never sell it to him again or come near my house.

I went inside and hit the roof with son, I had absolutely no idea he was doing it
They lie, they steal
Tgey basically get in way over their heads and like the buzz of it and think there untouchable

really hope you can nip this in the bud now, but at 19 he thinks he’s an adult!!!

Newtonianmechanics · 30/10/2023 12:30

How are things op?

Original poster
Meltinthemiddle · 30/10/2023 15:45

He has barricaded himself in his room room as wants his money and scales back. Threatening to steal my stuff. Sending nasty messages about we pushed him to it. He said he buys from an old lady who grows it. He just wants to sell 7g to get his money until he gets a job. He hasn't bothered looking. I have rang a county lines help line waiting for a call back. He is even talking different, like a totally different person. He is literally acting like a gangster.

OP posts: