I'm Pregnant =/

[DaniellaC]

I'm 16 and found out this morning that i'm pregnant.
I've told my boyfriend and the school nurse and my best friend know. I'm really scared about telling my parents because they don't even knoe i'm having sex. my heads just so messed up i don't know what to do.
what's the best way to tell my parents and any basic advice?
Thanks
dani x

do you have a good relationship with your parents? How long have you and your boyfriend been together? What does he think? How far gone are you?

Elf - I hardly talk to my parents my mum works away and I can't talk to my step-dad about anything serious. I've been with my boyfriend 3 months. he said it's up to me and he'll stick with me whatever. I'm between 3 and 6 weeks pregnant.
Jammi - I can't just leave a letter cause i'm the last person out on a morning and the last one back at night.
Thanks

Do you have an aunt or a granny you can speak to and maybe get to tell them?

Maybe you can get the school nurse to drop round and be there to support you or have a friend there at least or maybe a friend's mum who you get on with?

How did your boyfriend take it - was he ok with it - has he told his parents - no doubt your parents and his will end up meeting and chatting about this - could you perhaps tell his mum and ask her advise or ask her to tell your parents with you?

Hun i was only 16 when i had my son and his 18 on sunday!!

I remember having to tell my parents and i still remember being absolutely petrified so i understand exactly how you feel.

My advice would be to get your head around the news first before you tell your parents.

They will probably be in a state of shock for a few days. Mine didnt talk to me for 4 days. which neither of them remember to this day.

Once they were over the shock they were fantastic and supported me all the way.

It will alll work out i promise x

Can you talk to your mum on the phone? Or how long is it until she's home and you can talk to her face to face?

Do you know what you want to do? Is there anyone else you can talk to if you can't talk to your parents?

What do you want to happen next?

Do you want to keep the baby (no value judgements, just a question)?

Great that your bf sounds supportive of whatever you decide. That must be a great help.

I was 23 when I had to tell my parents I was pg but felt like a wayward teenager as I was (still am) still a student! It is the scariest thing in the world but really is best done soon. They may rant a bit but at the end of the day your mum is your mum and she will want to be there for you. You may well find you end up a lot closer for talking things over with her.

Congratulations! x

I was 17 when I got pregnant with dd. I was happy to be, but the dad wasnt, and was terrified of telling my family. But when it comes down to it, you arent telling them you have a terminal disease. It wont be the end of the world.

Be confident in your decision and make yourself well informed. They will see you are mature and sensible and it will help them be calm about it.

Twinkie - I Don't have any other family apart from my mum and step- dad. i don't really have any friends that i'm close enough to for them to come with me.My Boyfriends Okay With It He's Coming round tomorrow to have a proper talk about it all.
Sugarpear- Was it hard bringing him up at 16? do you wish you had waited?
Lotty - She's home on saturday so i think i'm going to talk to her then i just don't know how to do it.
Martian - i think i want to keep it but i don't want to mess my life up.
Starlight - 1. I'm A Bit Scared And happy at the same time i'm just really confused. 2.he said he'll stick wiyh me whatever but it's up to me what i do. 3. she said to talk to my parents and booked me an appointment with a counciler.
Thanks everyone

Its hard to know what to say and building up to it is probably worse than the actual thing. Being a mum myself I can think of loads worse things to be told so maybe you can come straight out and say something like, mum i've got something to tell you... and then just say it. try not to take her initial reaction to heart if its negative though it may be a shock. Good luck.

As a mother of a daughter please tell your mum as soon as possible. She might be angry but in the long run she will be so glad you have told her.
Try to decide what you want to do before you tell her if at all possible.
My best friend at school got pregnant at your age. Her boyfriend said he'd stick by her and they told her parents togetether. Her mum threw him out and 'encouraged' her to have an abortion which she did. She does regret it but she did eventually break up with her boyfriend (2 years later) and went on to marry and have 2 kids. She does miss what might have been but now she looks back and sees that her mum was right. But for a long long time she was very angry with her mum and wishes she'd made up her own mind before telling her.

Hi there
I just want to say that you sound so level headed.. I got pregnant when I was 19 it was a huge mistake and I panicked I didn't know what to do.. I just wish I had taken some time to look at all my options.. I dont regret the decision I made - to not go ahead with the pregnancy - but I do feel that I made it thinking I had no alternative and now I am old and married I know that I was misinformed.

Take your time to think about what you want, what plans did you have for the future are they compatible with being a young mum. There are loads of study courses you can do with a baby so it isn't automatically the end of education if you want to carry on studying.

Good luck with everything.. keep talking things through and you will find the answers.

JingleyJen - I'm predicted good grades so i was hoping on getting into sixth form bu i don't think they'll take me if they know i'm pregnant because it'll mean missing loads of time.
Thanks everyone for your advice.
x

Maybe best thing to do would be to be a bit of and teary and then when she asks what is wrong tell her - may be easier getting her to ask rather than you having to come out with it.

Is she like that is she a concerned sort?

My daughter is 7 but I know I would be shocked if I found out at 16 that she was pregnant - it is going to be a natural response of any mother - the second one would be to help and want to protect you and help.

Really think about your options though and what you want to do with your life and have a bit of a plan in place so you can show her how adult you are being and that you have really thought about this properly.

Maybe having your boyfriend there when it happens may help too - sort of 2 people to be pissed off with to start with but it won;t be so bad for you and at least it will show maturity on his part.

Please don't worry that you will mess your life up. If you decide to keep the baby then your life will be very different yes, but that doesn't mean you can't achieve the same goals you have now. You are studying childcare from your profile, are you still doing that? Have a little browse on the student parent section, there are plenty of people doing similar things and a gazillion of us doing various forms of study. It is a bit tougher than it would be without kids, and a different experience than it might otherwise be but it can be done.

Scared is an ok feeling to have. As is confused. I remember thinking something like 'bloody hell I'm going to have to drop out of uni, fuck I knew I wanted kids but not now! Oh my god what the hell am I going to do with my life' Before dissolving into tears. You are clearly more sensible as have already spoken to your school nurse

Dani - I could never regret him. It hasnt always been easy i was a single mum for 6 years but im now vey happily married and i've had 5 more kids!

I had no friends as they all went off to college or went partying every night. But i had my parents and they were great but more than that i had my son.

Of course i was offered a termination but that wasnt for me i wanted him more than anything.

It's a choice every woman has the right to make regardless of everyone else's opinions on it.

Whether you are ready or not to have a baby is your choice to make no one elses.

My eldest daughter is almost 12 and starting to notice boys in a big way. And i admit the thought of her 16 and pregnant worries me completely. But if that day ever came she would have my support un conditionally whatever she decided.

Im glad you have the support of your best friend and boyfriend. And i hope your mum will support you too.

Twinkie- I Doubt she'd notice but my boyfriend has said he's going to come round with me and talk to them about it.
Indith- Yeah I've nearly finished my GCSE's and I was planning on doing it in college because i've always has a big interest in kids. So is it still possible to go to college with a baby?
Thanks
x

Daniella, I'm glad that you've found MN, you will get lots of advice from great people.

Just one thing re the BF, you may very well stick together and all may well be fine. But how would you feel about having the baby on your own if (and I stress its only an if) you should split up. I don't mean either of you any disrespect, but 3 months together isn't that long, and having kids can be tough on any realationship.

It is probably best to think through all the possible outcomes, discuss it with someone you trust and come to the decision that suits you best.

you poor little love!!!!

however scary, tell your mum as soon as possible, i'm sure you will find its not as bad as you think!

she will no doubt be angry but that will only be through worry - she loves you and wants the best for you

Got to go pick ds up from creche now and do his dinner etc, back later. Keep well Dani

Lots of collages have provision for child care, it is worth exploring the local options