I'm Pregnant =/

[DaniellaC]

I'm 16 and found out this morning that i'm pregnant.
I've told my boyfriend and the school nurse and my best friend know. I'm really scared about telling my parents because they don't even knoe i'm having sex. my heads just so messed up i don't know what to do.
what's the best way to tell my parents and any basic advice?
Thanks
dani x

hey i was 16 wen i found out i was pregnant too! the best thing to do is do not panic tel;l your parents every little bit of truth that they want to know and you will get through this im 40wekks+3 now and just waiting to meet my little one. i feel as prepapered as any other mums i know and have had lots of support just remember once you get into the swing of things dont let people treat yolu any differently just because you are young and ask for help when you feel you need it. good luck message n let me know how it goes. xxxxxx

daniellaC- it is most definetly still poss to go to college with a baby i did! my piece of advice is be as stubborn as possible and dont let them try and tell you to put it off for a year coz once you have had that year off you wont want to go back. ionly finished col 3 weeks before my due date and had far to travel so it was a rewal achievment. i am studying childcare and working from home for the rest of the year and joining back with my class for the second year in september. you will be fine dont worry!! xx

Hi, I am another that had a child at 16, he is 15 now and a lovely boy!

My mum was with me when I found out, she was so understanding, it was my dad that took it the hardest, and all through my pregnancy it was tough between us.
As soon as Ds was born he came around, and they have always been really close.

Your parents will be upset, but it will be more the fact that they are upset FOR you, not by what you have done.
You need to tell them as soon as poss, and decide what is going to happen.

If you decide to continue with the pregnancy, there is lots of help out there for young mums, and with a good support network it doesn't have to stop you doing anything.

Your BF sounds great, people always forget how scared they must be too.

Good luck with everything, let us know how you get onxxxx

Daniella, are you the girl from Blackpool?

I feel so sorry for you having to tell your parents but i'm sure their reaction won't be half as bad as you imagine it. I don't have children myself, but I can tell you that most colleges have creches so you can leave your baby while you study. You sound like an extremely sensible and level-headed girl.

Hi

My friend fell pregnant at 15 had her wee girl when she was 16 she was so scared to tell her parents but she eventually did

This girl used to hang around street corners drinking with her friends and bein nasty from the day she had her little girl her life couldn't be better she has not drank since and is a very good mother she went to collage 3 days a week and put her baby in the creche which her daughter loved people always told her she would mess up her life if she had the baby but she has proved them all wrong and is now in a supvisory position all i am trying to say is a baby doesn't mess your life up everything in life happens for a reason

Hi,

I'm over 40 weeks (overdue!) pregnant with my first little girl at the age of 17. My mum found out by accident (going through my wastepaper bin to make sure I was shredding all the addressed envelopes and found the test lol!)

I have no advice for being a teenage mum, because I'm not one yet - but my mum and DPs parents really surprised me with their support. My boyfriend is living a while away completing a Maths degree at uni, and I recently got the results from my AS January modules back - Biology was 2 marks off full marks (an A), and Philosophy a very high B...and I did these at 7 months pregnant. I'm hoping to finish all 4 of my A Levels and go to uni with the help of Care2Learn which pays for your childcare while you're a full time student.

What I'm trying to say is, our lives may be a little harder and more complicated but they are NOT over. Whether DP and I are still together in a few years time or not, he'll be a brilliant father and I'm looking forward to seeing him and us grow as parents.

If you are really worried about telling your mum perhaps write her a letter. It's better to do it this way than to put it off and miss out on lots of potential support...give people a chance to surprise you. If anyone has anything negative to say prove them wrong rather than letting yourself believe you'll be any less of a parent just because you fell pregnant before what most people consider to be the 'right' time.

If you need any help or advice about pregnancy, help you can get etc feel free to email me:

[email protected]

Good luck!!
Mina xx

Hi,
Just wanted to let you know there are lots of us that do ok!
I had DS1 at 17. My mum was upset and angry but loved us both anyway. I went to college and got a nursing diploma when he was small. He has disabilities which made life hard and I split with his father very quickly. I enjoyed being a single mum - noone to answer to!
My son is great - hes 14 now and one of the nicest teens I know. Hes got a girlfriend and looking from a mums perspective I would be sad if she fell pregnant now and missed out on her teen years, but would do my best to help.
And on the bright side, DP and I will still be under 40 when the kids are grown up, and we will be able to do all the things I missed out on (like travelling abroad).
Good luck, don't make any rash decisions. There is plenty of support out there for teen mums and most of us do alright! XX

hi
i just want to say reading this had made me feel so much better as i had a baby at 17 and i felt like there was no one else with the same problem as me with made me feel ashamed and embarrased

i was 6 months pregnant before my parents found out because i wasnt big..i didnt tell anyone because i felt so ashamed and bad for what i had done, they found out and were so understanding, i really dont no what i would have done without them they didnt even give out 2 me coz so wer so concerned i didnt tell them.. i hid indoors for the next 3 months of the pregancy as i felt every1 would look down on me.. i was form a well respected family and i felt so bad for doing this to them.. i wasnt able to have an enjoyable happy pregancy which it is meant 2 be about.. i cryed for months afterwards thinking it wud ruin my life!! his finally here now and is 11 weeks he has brought so much joy..

remember age only tells you how long you have been on the earth.. dont be ashamed like i was flaunt tat bump

i'm 22 and turning to 23 this year, and i just found out that i am pregnant. Me and my bf had planned to get married in the summer but then we speed it up to next week because of the unexpected surprise.

My mom is extremely disappointed with me..upset..but more of the thought that i've failed her. maybe because its the asian culture, i feel bad. i want this baby because me and my bf wanted a family. Although it happened way earlier than what we planned.

i'm so upset now, i tried telling them the second day (which is yesterday) and my mom was hurt..

I want to be happily pregnant,i believe that i didnt waste all the money my parents spend on me to study. I will still support my family back home, i will still work...

i'm just kinda depress now..

Daniella - how are things now?

I got pg at 17 after a one night stand, luckily I found out early enough and my aprents said they would support me whatever I did.

I decided after alot of tears that I would have a termination, I never knew the child's father and I would have been on my own.

I am now 41, married with 3 kids, the eldest being 17, then 14 then 5. I am nursery nurse trained working as a childminder and able to stay at home with my 5 yr old.

My advice is to take a deep breath, tell your Mum and stepdad. Who knows, they may be overjoyed or they may throw you out (I hope they don't though). Most parents would be shocked, they still think of you as a little girl probably

I got pg when I was 19. I remember being so scared to say anything feeling like I might let everyone down.
I kept it to myself for a week, then one day mum came into my bed room and I told her to sit down as there was something I wanted to tell her. At this moment I could see that she had already guessed!
Mum was fantastic.. she just said are you going through with it? I said I think so.. she then hugged me and said " well then, congratulations!"
I have to say I made her tell my dad.. who took a few days of ranting about ( whilst I was away for the weekend) but when I came home and saw him, he told me to fetch a pressy from their bedroom. I went up stairs to find some baby socks!
They weren't overjoyed, they were very worried.. but I did have there full support.
I now have 3 Dc.. DS1 is 13 now, I have a degree and life is good
It is hard work, you grow up lots you can never be number 1 in your life again... but I wouldn't have changed it for the world! I look at him now and think... WOW I did that!
Whatever choice you make.. it will be okay x,

i was 17 when i got pregnant with my ds. I had him the same day as i finished my last A-level and i went on to university. it doesn't have to be the end of your life! i still go out about once a week and my mum or sister babysits. if i had a dp it would probably be a lot easier but we manage.

Take your parents to see Juno and see if they cotton on! Neither the girl nor her parents in the film seem to have any trouble in accepting the pregnancy (someone at work said the film must have been financed by pro-lifers).

I'm sorry I didnt reply to any of the later posters but i've only recently started recovering sorry.
I told my mum and she went mental about it, said i wasn't allowed to see my boyfriend ever again and that i had to move out and that she wanted nothing else to do with me again ever etc. there was no way i could move out so close to my gcse's etc. and she said the only way i could stay living with her and stay with my boyfriend was if i got rid of the baby so i ended up having a termination.
since i had it i have really regretted it and still wish i had kept it, i can't stop thinking about it, it's really messed my head up.
I know this is a site for mums so you probably won't be happy about what happened but i just thought i'd update you all and thank you so much for all your advice and help =]
dani x

Awww you poor poor thing.

Honestly no one will mind. This is a forum for mums but you needed help and advice.

I really do hope you are ok.

Dani

Just wanted to say that I am so sorry for what has happened to you.

Please don't feel that you're not welcome on this site. There are other Mums on this site that have had terminations.

You will get support from people on here so feel free to talk about it if you want to. Maybe you need to get some Counselling in real life though to help you through this.
Take care of yourself.

Dani, really hope you are ok. Agree with Toodles, please don't go through this on your own and think about counselling.

Be kind to yourself xxx

Thanks for coming back and giving an update.

i really think you should get some councelling - i m sure that other mumsnetters can link to some good sites that can help you

The best testement you can have to this horrible experience is to go and have a good life.

Have you go birh control now?

Thank you =]
I tried councilling but i just can't talk to people i'm quite shy and just build barriers between myself and everyone else.
I now have the implant but may be getting it taken out and getting the injection instead cause the implant is making me quite ill
Thanks x

sweetheart, you are not the first and very definatley not the last person this has/will happen too!!!

try and be a little kind to yourself, you will never forget the baby and when the time is right your experience will make you a better mother than you can imagine ever being now

this happened to me when i was 18, i promise you that life does go on and get better, just don't suffer your grief alone, keep talking on here if you really feel you have no-one else, it will help you

Thank you I Made the mistake of watching that abortion programme the other night and in a way it kinda helped to know i'm not the only person but i just keep thinking that i've made the wrong decision and i idon't know how to stop feelign like this. I'm sorry for wasting everones time.
x

your not wasting everyones time, lots of people here will be able to give you support - so you should spend time here talking to people.

you poor thing. can i reccomend phoning childline 0800 1111 (open 24/7) if you want to talk to someone directly about this. they'll listen and support you but wont judge you. [big hug]

oh and its free even from a mobile.