Dd awful exam results - best parenting strategy?

[stirling]

In your opinion or preferably experience please?
She's finished y10 and her predicted grades were all 9s and 8s based on the fact that she's in top set, FFT grades high as she did exceptionally well in primary (I worked with her a lot throughout primary ). But the phone addiction , social media addiction is horrendous and it's the only thing I can say has led her to achieve shockingly bad results and emails of disappointment from her teachers too about her disorganisation.

She says she feels bad about her results and yet doesn't want limitations on her phone.
Parenting books suggest leaving teens to make their own choices, not rescuing them. Even if it means they get lower grades and outcomes in their future.

It just pains me so much to do that though. I wouldn't mind if she was average. She's so bright and it's all wasted . Plus she loathes her appearance and that's 100% down to social media.

Would you leave her to it or set restrictions for year 11 against her will?
Thank you, sorry to ramble on

at nearly 16 you have to let them fail a little to learn and grow. If they never make mistakes they won’t be able to function as adults who know how to rescue themselves or ask for help.
We did two things: with the child who was phone crazy, we took it off him at bedtime c10pm Sun-Thurs, but he agreed to it. You have to let them find their own Sanctions sometimes too and might be surprised about how much harsher the restrictions they decide are compared to what you might be thinking.
With the other year 11 child, who was a worker but a bit lazy, a bit distracted and started to realise and get upset when her results were failing, we sat with her and talked about creating a study plan. She did it. It took ages. She did it by herself. She then mostly stuck with it, but the structure at least helped her to understand where she wasn’t working and how that might affect her. We await the exam results for that one!
you cannot be too draconian and have to start letting go lest they go off the rails completely esp when they feel out of control.

Children need boundaries and all of these parenting books are full of s**t. If she were my daughter she wouldn't have a mobile until she got her grades up. She will hate you for a while, but it will be good for her grades and mental health in the long run. Then when you reintroduce the phone I would have a not in your bedroom policy. Social media is toxic and children need guidance from their parents, that's what parents are for you cant just let her flounder. She will blame you for not intervening when she's an adult if you don't do something.

Please intervene before it’s too late. Typically students don’t improve more than a grade or two between 10/11, often they just think it will ‘be ok in the end’.