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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

AIBU (Bedtime)

52 replies

ChocLover73 · 26/06/2023 18:55

DS 15 is complaining that we won't let him play with his friends on his computer after 8 on weeknights saying all his friends are etc. DD 13 needs her sleep and DS is up at 6 for a paper round. Should we be more lax? What are your opinons?

OP posts:
redskytwonight · 26/06/2023 18:57

8 is quite early. What time does he go to bed?

Original poster
ChocLover73 · 26/06/2023 18:58

Also we just got a puppy and DH/I are sleeping in the hallway with it in the kitchen in its crate so don't want to be disturbed when trying to get it to bed.

OP posts:
JaukiVexnoydi · 26/06/2023 18:59

Yanbu. 8 is a perfectly reasonable curfew for screen time.

Original poster
ChocLover73 · 26/06/2023 18:59

@redredskytwonight in bedroom by 9-9.30 and often reads but DH tells him to turn off light around 10

OP posts:
Changeling78 · 26/06/2023 19:04

I think that’s quite early for a 15 year old. Can’t you leave him until 9?

MrsHsGirl · 26/06/2023 19:09

I think that is early for a 15 year old. My parents were insanely strict with me and I had an early curfew at the same age (I know not quite the same) and I rebelled against it at every given opportunity which resulted in some really risky behaviour which I regret now.

Perhaps you could agree to a little more freedom for him in return for him showing you how responsible he is - ie helping round the house more etc etc?

Hmmthatsgoodchicken · 26/06/2023 19:19

8 is really early. Why can't it be 9?

Dd is 13 and is often not going for a bath or a shower until half 8/9. She goes to sleep about 10.30 apparently.

The puppy will have to learn to live with noise.

BoohooWoohoo · 26/06/2023 19:22

Trial a later time on a Friday and Saturday night and see how it goes.

I was going to say 8 is early but whether or not he gets up for his paper round is important

CurlewKate · 26/06/2023 19:30

He's 15. If he doesn't get up for his paper round that's his problem.

SnapPop · 26/06/2023 19:31

I agree with other posters that is early for a 15yo.

Motnight · 26/06/2023 19:44

Do DD and DS share a bedroom?

Trainsplanesandfeet · 26/06/2023 19:46

My 15 year old and his friends rarely start playing until 8!
I think this is going to make him feel very left out and resentful of you.
I’m not normally one to the swayed by that kind of pressure but it’s so important at 15 they get to be with their friends.
Expecting a 15 year old to be in bed at 9 seems insane too. I’ve had four of them at this age and not one of them would have been able to sleep then or even by ten.

Vitaminbees · 26/06/2023 20:15

I thought I was pretty strict but my 11 year old is allowed to play until 9!

Changingplace · 26/06/2023 20:19

How is him playing later causing so much disruption? Is he in his room? How is it keeping DD awake? Surely a 13 year old doesn’t need to be in bed by 8pm anyway?

SirenSays · 26/06/2023 20:21

Thats very early for a teen. Most teens are busy with dinner, homework and extracurriculars until then. Why would he disturb the dog if he played for an extra hour or two. I'd have thought the puppy would need letting out much later than that anyway.

rookiemere · 26/06/2023 20:23

YABU, it's important they learn a bit of their own self regulation at that age. I would say 9 for stopping gaming and 10 for lights off is much more reasonable.

startafresh123 · 26/06/2023 20:25

Jesus, I was going to night clubs and up to all sorts by the time I was 15!

DonoghueVsStevenson · 26/06/2023 20:27

Wow, I was fully prepared to be on your side and thinking that the old "but all my friends are allowed" would be a massive over exaggeration. But 8pm for a 15 year old is very early indeed and I would bet he's right that all his friends are allowed to game later. Even with the fact he needs to get up at 6am I'd let him game til 9 or 9.30.

pictoosh · 26/06/2023 20:28

8 is very early.

HippeePrincess · 26/06/2023 20:30

That all sounds completely ridiculous, 8pm screen curfew for a 15 year old and adults sleeping in the hallway with a puppy?
YAB ridiculous and U

wildfirewonder · 26/06/2023 20:31

So we have no console in our house, we are just not a console family, but agree with others that 8 seems very early for a 15 yo.

What about something like he is allowed to play til 9 or 9:30 but has to have a night off once a week to do something else?

ClaimQuestion · 26/06/2023 20:36

That's very early for a 15yo. Our 15yo is quite independent and self-sufficient and pretty much decides his own limits (within boundaries of course). I can't imagine his face if I told him 'x' had to be off at 8pm. Or our 13yo for that matter.

Original poster
ChocLover73 · 26/06/2023 20:37

Just some more info. He plays in living room as we've resisted electronics in bedroom. DCs have separate bedrooms.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 26/06/2023 20:39

Are you sure it was a good idea to get a puppy?? Sounds like ye can barely manage to let your dcs have some space to do their own thing without bringing a puppy into the equation. I could never imagine sleeping in a hall to help a puppy settle in. There seems to be more thought for the puppy than the poor 15 year old who has no time to chill and game with his friends. I presume he will have more freedom when the school holiday comes. Just ease up a bit as resentment will build.

Original poster
ChocLover73 · 26/06/2023 20:39

He also has a tendency to be very noisy going up stairs etc and talks to his friends loudly. Tonight we let him until 8.30 😂 I know it's not much but puppy is new only had him for 2/3 days so want to make sure he feels settled. Dog came expecting early bedtime and early wake so just sorting that out. DD has always struggled with her sleep and she needs to work much harder with schoolwork etc. than DS.

OP posts: