How to holiday with socially anxious teen??

[Neurons]

We have campervanning holidays twice a year. Both teens too big to sleep in the van so they share a big tent.

Eldest teen has severe anxieties. She has panic attacks over spiders, hates camping, flies, the outdoors, holidays, people, anything that doesn’t involve a screen, and can freeze or go mute if she can’t find the right words or answers.

my other teenager is engaging, socially confident, a complete contrast.

How do we have family holidays??

I am due to get a GP appointment to see where we can help my daughter (she’s 16 and due to start college in the autumn, yet she can’t even manage to get a bus by herself yet).

How can I support someone who is terrified of camping and the outdoors and insects and people, yet ensure thenother 3 members of the hardworking family get their deserved break? I’m flummoxed. We can’t afford hotel/indoor holidays.

Any advice or pointers to UK based teenage anxiety forums very gratefully received.

Meh, plenty of people (me included) actively hate any camping. That’s ok. I don’t need a special internet board for it, I just choose an actual enjoyable way to pass my time. Same as what your child needs.

I’ve camped in a VW camper van with tent. It’s not suitable for an anxious teen. Take it turns with your DH to go away a with the child who will enjoy it. Ask your anxious child what they want to do with their time.

You and DH sleep in the tent and give the teens the camper bed.

Could 1 of you swap so she sleeps in the van not the tent
CBT could help with her anxieties.
Maybe mix it up abit and have a different type of holiday next year!

Could be anxiety or autism or both.
Complete accommodation (no holiday) doesn't help learn to do new things in the long term and neither does forcing her to do everything.
Gradual changes are best.
I think given some of her difficulties BOTH camping AND going new places every day are a big ask.
I'd suggest like the others an indoor bed (we stayed in an Airbnb once where the kids could camp in the garden to add bed space) and one outing she'd find positive (my DCs are younger but bookshops, swimming and museums where you push buttons work well for my similar son). Some chilling at the accommodation while others do things she doesn't want to.

The solution that suits all is that she will now sleep in the van across the two front seats with a modified base and mattress, and son will sleep in the new awning room.

The other issues have finally been addressed honestly and we’ve managed to find some compromises there too.

Thankyou everyone, I’m leaving the discussion now. I very much appreciate your time and input.

I agree

Hi, sorry I know you have left the forum but just pitching in so you know you aren't alone. Holidays with our socially anxious daughter are pretty tough too. I keep soldiering on thinking they'll get easier but they get worse every time. The last one she spent most of the time.on a device, or in an extreme state of anxiety because we tried to get her off it for a bit. I hope you manage to have a decent time and she gets some enjoyment from it... Even if it's just being outdoors and connecting with nature a bit...

@WalKat i have just found this thread and I know the OP has left but I just wanted to say we are in the same boat. For other family reasons we haven’t managed a holiday this summer but our daughter has been more relaxed as a result which breaks my heart as the rest of us could really do with a break. It’s not as easy as others suggest as to leaving them on their own or with other family (won’t happen- she would be devastated) and although we do try and divide and conquer, and take the two boys out separately it’s not the same.

Hi all left thread for a while as found new job with commitments but still following now if any new advice posted. Very grateful !

I’d consider booking a caravan or cheap Airbnb where you can also park the campervan, then people have a choice of sleeping inside or out. That can be as cheap as a pitch but a whole lot more pleasant for your daughter. Also ask her what she wants from a holiday, it should have something for everyone, not just be what you like.

Have you had a holiday since your first post now @Neurons?