Friend's teen finishing GCSEs — would this be weird?

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In my social circles when I was growing up, it was reasonably common for people who knew a teen well (family friends, uncles/aunties etc.) to slip them a few quid to say well done when they got their exam results.

I'm now living in a different part of the country and it's quite a few years later, and I don't know if that's normal any more — but also, I'd like to give my friend's kid £20 or so right after exams finish instead, to send the message that it's a "well done for trying your best and getting through them" rather than about what results he gets.

I'd check with my friend first too to make sure it's okay with her, obviously, but if this is something that people just don't do any more or never do before results, I don't want to make her uncomfortable by asking. Would you think it was weird if your friend gave your teen money to say well done for getting through GCSEs? Or should I wait for results? Or was this something particular to my area as a kid, and something people generally don't do at all?

I think it’s a lovely idea. The teen will remember you with that kindness.

Thanks Atlas — maybe I've been overthinking it, but I don't have kids myself so I'm not familiar with what's done these days, and I didn't want to make my friend/her son feel uncomfortable by doing something weird 😅

Not at all, it’s a lovely thought 😊

This is a lovely idea ☺️

I would think it was weird. However my teen would happily take the money.

If you're not really involved with them day to day, it basically just is you giving them money though ... the GCSEs link is a bit tenuous.

I've got a teen doing GCSE's at the moment and I think it is a lovely idea, very kind.

Oh, give over 🙄

Sorry - don't understand your point?

My dd is doing her gcses atm and I've exchanged my tesco points to vouchers to give to her for her and her boyfriend to go for a meal together once their exams have finished.

It's a lovely idea to give her a little treat but I would ask your friend incase she feels uncomfortable If she would want to do it and can't afford it.

My next door neighbour gave me £50 for finishing my a levels and turning 18. it was a lovely gesture, and so unexpected. And at that age (and back in the 90s) that was a huge amount of money to me

You said the link between sending the money to celebrate the end of GCSE’s and the fact that the child has just finished GCSE’s is “tenuous”.
Utter nonsense.

I have a teen doing GCSE's now and think this is a lovely idea.
I've bought mine a gift to say well done for her efforts.
Check with your friend, but if you were my friend I would say thank you and yes please 😁

I have paid for my goddaughter to have her nails done for her prom as an end of exams treat, and then I will get her a ‘well done’ card when she gets her results. I think it’s a nice thing to do, my dc were always happy for a little treat from mums friend, I think it makes them feel special.

It's a lovely idea, OP, and I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated. I don't think it's an established custom as such, but my dd is doing A- levels at the moment and I think she would be surprised and touched by the gesture.

If you feel awkward about it, why not just explain when you give it that you remember this being a thing when you were younger and you thought it might be nice to continue the tradition.

They won't think you're weird, they will just think you're extremely generous and thoughtful.

I always used to do this pre children. The adults in my life when I was a child/teenager always used to do it. My neighbour's dd went travelling recently and I gave her £30.

Wow, that was generous Yuko! I wonder if you're from a similar region/era to me, as I remember adults giving money to unrelated young people being quite usual (though never expected/presumed, and always appreciated). I don't see it much where I live now, but it was commonplace then/there — even things like going round a friend's house at age 12 or so, and her grandad (who I'd never met before) giving a couple of quid to me as well as to her, for sweets.

But I recognise that these things can be very regional/era-dependent, which is why I'm grateful for other perspectives like redskylight's — agreed, he'd probably be very willing to take the cash but I'm conscious that I don't want to make my friend feel awkward or uncomfortable. Luckily there's no huge wealth disparity or anything between us at the moment, which might make it trickier.

I think that's a great idea.

A congratulations for surviving for GCSEs - now go and have a good day out bit if cash!!!

My teens would consider it as "random friend of mum's has sent me money".

If you asked them 2 weeks afterwards they would struggle to remember who had sent the money or the reason for it.

Different if the sender is grandparent or a godparent or a very close family friend with whom they had a closer personal relationship, but not getting the impression that OP is.

When I finished GCSE's (late 90's) it was common for teens to go on their first holiday with school friends to celebrate finishing school when younger pupils were still in school. Usually Cornwall or similar. Proms and parties are still popular too. I'm taking my DS away for a mini break in a city abroad for his exam leave. You could offer the money 'to help him celebrate his exam leave'.

I remember my uncle slipping me a tenner when we went to visit (annually as we lived in another country). My in laws used to do that too when my kids were young. They don't do it now.
No one gave my kids anything after GCSEs - I suppose my parents would have but they were long dead by the time my kids did exams. No friend did.
I think to do that I'd have to have a special relationship with the child in question, or think they'd had a particularly tricky time. But if it's normal for you then it's a nice gesture.

Giving kids money for coming through their exams has always been a thing where I grew up.

It's lovely OP.

Maybe your children are a bit bratty or ungrateful @redskylight ? Sounds like it may be the case

Maybe op’s friend’s kids are nicer than your kids sound? Who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️

My teens would consider it as "random friend of mum's has sent me money".

If you asked them 2 weeks afterwards they would struggle to remember who had sent the money or the reason for it.

These kids sound shockingly ungrateful. I got money when I came through my exams from various people. Tenners and twenties from family and friends of family. I sent thank you cards as I was always raised to do.

I think it depends on context, a friend of my dad's was at our family home when I had just finished a levels I was getting ready to go out for the night, just before I left he gave me £20 and said well done, you deserve to celebrate have a drink on me. That was really nice and appreciated (and I remember it 20 years later) , it also felt spontaneous because he happened to be there as I was going out, if he'd just sent me £20 after I'd done my exams I would've thought it a bit strange