Seriously failing

[Piscesmumma1978]

I have two teenage dds. They have both been vaping which they know I hate.

I've taken their phones as punishment as that's the only thing I have that will effect them.

My 15yo hates me. I'm fairly sure she'll go no contact with me when she's older. We're very different. She's very like her dad.

Their dad just laughs this stuff off. They only see him three times a month. My dh doesn't get involved which is fair enough.

It's just so hard.

How else do you punish a teenager?

Have you spoken to school and asked what they are doing to stop the use in school ? I saw one school on TV who have installed smoke detectors to cut down in vaping.

@Piscesmumma1978 I wouldn't think in terms of punishing a teenager. All you'll do is back them into a corner and leave them with nothing to lose and behaviour will deteriorate

Regarding vaping. All you can do is say you don't like it, say you won't pay for it and state it won't happen in your home. Show them the stats about how damaging it can be.

And then... do nothing. You honestly can't stop them so the second best thing is all the above and then just waiting for them to grow out of it - which they more than likely will.

But I suspect this is probably more than just vaping.

Been there done that agree with @BatFaceOwl

She's talking sense! You cannot force your teens to live how you do. But you can have boundaries

There’s that old saying about picking your fight. They won’t stop vaping if they don’t want to. Education and not allowing it at home is the way to go.
Plus if they’re going out they really do need the phone for safety

They share them which is disgusting! They don't even buy their own.

You're right about punishment effectively not working. I hate teenage years.

One is 15, how old is the other?

You can't punish teens and tbh vaping is much better than smoking which I was doing aged 13.

Maybe cut them some slack?