Am I being unreasonable?

9 replies

lily2309 · 13/02/2008 10:54

Am I asking too much of DS. He is away at Uni and naturally do not expect contact that regularly but when I phone and leave a message he never seems to call back. However if it is something he wants I get bombarded with messages. Should I just leave him be and if he doesnt return my calls just let him suffer the consquences of missing out . We have the opportunity of a trip to New York and I need to know is term dates, I have been asking him for about 10 days now and no reply !!!
Advice please

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brimfull · 13/02/2008 10:58

do you want him to go to NY with you?

If yes I would give him a deadline to get back to you then book trip without him.

Otherwise I would leave him be.Boys can be crap at keeping in touch,my mum always complained about my db's never returning calls.

fembear · 13/02/2008 19:22

Can you e-mail instead of phoning?

dolally · 13/02/2008 22:41

i would be sorely tempted to let him suffer the consequences, though will it ruin the trip for you if he's not with you?

Original poster

lily2309 · 14/02/2008 09:56

Have decided to just leave him be. I e-mailed on monday and no reply. I suppose he is trying to grow up and is finding it hard, maybe contact with his mum is the last thing he wants at the moment. When we did speak nearly 2 weeks ago he sounded a bit low and when he is in that mood he misses his grandma who died last year. Maybe talking to me just bought it all up again. Since then he has not phoned but I get news via a friend who occasionally sees him on his business trips and he reported he was fine. Hopefully we will start communicating again, maybe I am just finding it hard to let go !

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juuule · 14/02/2008 10:05

Just to say that I don't think you are expecting too much. Maybe expect that he wouldn't reply quickly but I would expect my son, who is also away at uni, to respond to a left message asking him to get in touch asap.
Can you contact his friend and ask him to speak to your son?

ZippiBabes · 14/02/2008 10:07

did you tell him about the trip..if you did and he didnt answer then stuff him he misses out or he doesn't fancy it

flamingtoaster · 14/02/2008 10:13

My son's friend's mother has an excellent system for getting answers when she needs them (and her son now knows the system). She leaves several messages. If she does not get a reply and it's something important she sends the message: "You have until x o'clock to answer - I will then get into the car and come to speak to you about it." So far she has never had to get in the car - this only works because son is only about 70 miles away though!

Original poster

lily2309 · 14/02/2008 11:48

Thanks for all the helpful advice. To be quite honest it doesnt matter too much whether he comes or not so I dont want to overeact and leaves loads of messages.I think it is just the principle of him not bothering and having the courtesy of a returning a call, he probably thinks "Oh not my parents again what do they want to nag me about now?"
I think I will have to be patient and hope that his maturity will speed up living away from home.I suppose that they all do eventually , just hope that I dont turn too grey in the meantime.

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Original poster

lily2309 · 27/02/2008 09:23

Did eventually hear from DS but that was only because he wanted something. I would love to think that he is too busy to phone but it really seems that he cant be bothered or doesnt want to speak to me (or his dad and sister). The only person he sometimes talks to is his grandma.

I dont know why I am getting so upset after all it is his problem,but now I am off on holiday and dont know whether to bother to say good bye. Also I bet I dont get a mothers day card ! Any advice or do I now sound like a moody kid ?

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Flip