What age do you expect your offspring to move out?

[Twobigsapphires]

Ds is 19 and dropped out of uni. Is now working full time in a reasonably (for his age) paid job. Pays minimal board. Overall he’s reasonably easy to live with, although I do get annoyed at his gf being here all the time. I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever move out!
I wonder what the reality is now for young people. It just feels like I’m sharing my house with an adult lodger and I’m missing my own space somewhat. Due to the cost of living etc do I just need to accept that our kids will live with us for some time to come?

I was turfed out one month after my 16th and had to work and pay for a bedsit during my 6th form, it was a struggle!

Our eldest is 15, we have been having conversations about what we would advise for saving a deposit and further education, different scenarios so at least he has an idea of what to expect.
He knows he is welcome to stay here rent free but to contribute to bills after uni with the expectation to drastically save money.

I wouldn't expect him to still be here by 27/28.

Mines 18 and autistic.

I've always had an expectation he'll live with me for as long as needed he certainly isn't anywhere near ready to move out and as it's just the 2 of us we manage to do exist peacefully!

I think you're right about CofL and house prices being a factor that young people move out later nowadays. Mortgages were cheaper than rent and still appear to be with interest rate rises.

What I'd encourage him to do is look at the governments help to buy savings account because it has good returns.

But I'd have a real think and adult discussion with him over yours and his expectations and make it clear if he remains at home that a) there are rules to follow and b) it's expected he use that to save for his own deposit to buy one day.

I feel as though I don’t have much justification to say his gf can’t come over as much, I mean the reality is they just hang out in his room.
Ds does his own washing and most of his own cooking, if I’m cooking some things I’ll make extra for him to reheat etc so it’s not effort for me.
He has only been out of education and working for 6 months so I’m not sure what his long term plan is in reality. We live in a fairly rural village and I know he is bored here and talks of wanting to move to London / a big city.

At 19 I wouldn't be hurrying him out the door, he'll end up in a crappy overpriced flat and never be able to save, he sounds easy enough to live with so not sure why you're wishing him away.

I expect she’ll go to uni at 28, spend half her time there and half at home, then get a job in London and live with us as a commuter until she either has enough saved for a deposit, or a boyfriend with very solid finances.

So, age 25ish?

Mean to say uni at 18 🤣 then stay until 25

Here in London it's been the norm for a long time now to have to stay in parents' homes a long time into adulthood. It's nothing new here. It's one of the issues the Tottenham riots were about, young people with no hope of finding homes of their own.
My contemporaries (mid-late 40s) either moved abroad or are still living with parents (sometimes in separate annexes if their parents bought a house in the 80s when it was cheaper), or moved back in when they had children.
My brother and his wife in their 30s are in a two bed council flat with our parents, trying to find somewhere affordable in commuting distance to start a family.

I'm assuming mine might stay here indefinitely as there's no chance of affordable rent for the younger generation if things continue as they are. I certainly can't afford to subsidise university rent, so that will have to be here.

Mine are still at secondary but I'd rather they stayed here saving a deposit than wasted money on rent in their 20's.

My oldest moved out 18 months ago at 18. Youngest is 18 now and is still at home. I would expect him to stay for at least another 2 years when he’s done with uni, but probably more like 4 years as we live in an expensive European capital city and he will need to save some more before he can get something. Oldest moved to a much cheaper town and has a good job so she has no problems affording life there.

My dd went to uni and carried on living there after her graduation which I fully expected as we live in a v boring little town , so she was 18. My ds went to uni , came back for a year and worked ,that then ended up being another year (doing masters at home due to covid ) so he moved out at 23 .

I am fine with our son living at home for however long but no I am not having a gf moving in or being around constantly

He is only still at school so we have a while yet but he is fine himself

One of mine left for Uni and never came back, the other left at 24 when she didn’t want to keep her room tidy and live by my rules any more.

My dd1 is in her final year at art school and living with her boyfriend. We'll continue to support her with rent for another year until she finds her feet - the employment world, even from her top level uni, is brutal but not bad after a year.

Ds is a 1st yr nursing student at 21 so will not be working till he's 24. I can't see him coming back home though!

Dd2 is in her final term as a beauty therapy student and finishes in the summer. She already has a full time spa job lined up. She's only 19 so is planning on living at home for another 2-3 years until she and her boyfriend can afford to move in together. She's a good housemate though, does her share of chores, looks after her own laundry and cooks a meal for us each week. She's the most grown up of the 3 of them!

Ds(19) and I havent even thought about him moving out. He is in first year of 5 year uni course, currently commuting, but I assume he'll want to move out at some point during the course, but while he is here it is saving me a fortune, he is nice to live with and he is either rarely here or upstairs with gf so no bother.

If he doesn't move out during uni, hopefully he'll get himself a job and it wont be long after.

My son became financially independent and moved out at 22; my daughter did the same at age 20. Both are uni grads and have professional jobs.

I would be willing for dd to live with us briefly after university. I would expect an extreme savings rate though given that an adult living with parents should be able to save large amounts of money very quickly. We would sit down at the beginning and agree on a rent/savings system, a target savings amount, and hence an anticipated move out date. Everything would be subject to adjustment as needed.

minimal board and an unknown plan would not be happening.

He's on the young side to move out, OP, and he's only been out of education for six months. It would be a good idea to talk to him about his long term plans and encourage him to start saving.

I can't see either of mine living at home past 25, although I'd be fine with it if they were saving for a deposit. DD is going to university this year and I really doubt she'll ever willingly move home as she's so independent. DS (14) might, but I think we'll have sold our current family home by then, so it'll depend on where DH and I end up, I suppose.

With house prices now, old! I'm guessing about 25. Already planning for this so our future house has space for two sections for living ie two living areas, bathrooms etc

When they are ready. My older two have flown the nest, hopefully (!) permanently. Youngest is 25 and still at home, not ready to fly yet. I don't mind, he's no bother and I like having him around. We've enough space to keep away from each other if we need to.

I think mid-late twenties if they return after Uni.

D(s)S won’t stay that long. He has a substantial inheritance from losing his mum very young so he’ll not have to save in the same way. Once he’s been in a post-Uni job long enough to get a mortgage he’ll move out.

One of my DDs will definitely move back in to save. The other is currently saying she might just accept renting forever as her chosen profession (nursing) isn’t ever going to be super high earning.

thsy said they all have their own space, we’re lucky in that respect. They aren’t babied and pull their weight in the house when they’re home so it’s not like lots I read about. They’re adults, are treated as such and behave as such.

The others are too young to know yet.

My only hope is that my adult children don't boomerang home too much, as I know a handful of people who are still "boomeranging" at my age...I'm 48. 😂 That would drive me nuts. In a crisis of course we'd help, but I'd hope that they'd be able to sort themselves out by their 30's.

18-20, either to uni or out into rented with friends. I think its so important for them to live life away from their parents and get that uni life experience even if not at uni.

I would rather help them afford to rent with friends and start living in the real world than live at home.

I have a 30-year old DS still at home. Has saved a good deposit for a property but couldn't really afford to buy a property alone so will continue saving towards a 50% deposit. I don't have a problem with him living here. Our house is a reasonable size so it doesn't impact hugely on me. It's not like we trip over each other.

I also have a boomerang DD who is at home temporarily after a relationship break up.

I like having them here and find some comments about adult DC living at home hard to understand although if we all had to share a bathroom I may have a different view.

Im a bit worried about this tbh. Im saving hard for my ds to try and be able to con ribute to a deposit when hes older. Hes only 4 now!
My partner son is 20 and at home but im more concwrned there as no desire to work.
I think provided their earning and paying their way its okay to mod 20s but then id be very encouraging.
Is your son a saver? If not couod you charge more rent and put a chunk away for him towards a despoit but not tell him or match savings that he saves as an incentive?

I also have to say im a bomerang at 38 as having to be home for a month between a hohse sale and o ward purchase to keep the chain in tact - no ones that happy about it! But im very appreciative