DD15 and ear piercing

[DarkChocHolic]

DD15 has wanted second piercing in her ears for a while. I said I would be happy for her to have it done and would also take her somewhere safe and pay for it.
School however are very strict and allow only one pair of studs. She has regularly had dangling ear rings and bracelets confiscated.
School are fairly relaxed for 6th form.
I told DD I would take her to get it done once GCSEs are finished in June.
She has had recurring infections with piercing with the first one so I wanted to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Today, I notice she has has second piercing.
She had a day out with friend yesterday so not sure whether she got it done then.
She insists she had it done herself with another pair of ear rings.
I find that hard to believe. She has has a history of telling stories.
Lots of issues going on with her at the moment - low mood, low self-esteem, body image etc. and we are getting her help for those and she is speaking to a counsellor. As a result we (rather I am) are treading on egg shells all the time as I am unable to tell what is genuinely going on.
I don't know how to react to this one. On one hand, it is not the end of the world but if she has done it herself, it could potentially go horribly wrong?
If she has done it in the shops, surely she must have lied about her age.
What would your reaction be if this was your DD?
Please be gentle. I am wavering between despair and disappointment (largely myself) at the moment

I think given everything else you've mentioned I wouldn't make a big deal of this. Say it's a shame you didn't wait because they're going to close up as you won't be able to wear earrings in the second hole when at school. Plus possibly say because she went behind your back you won't be paying for it again in June if they have closed up. Although I'm in two minds on that, depends how deceitful you feel she's been or if it has perked her up. Although it seems a good natural consequence....but that would be all I would say. I'd drop it as topic after that.

Why can't she just wear her second holes for school and take her earrings in her first holes out? xx

I did this. Honestly in the scheme of things it's absolutely nothing. Just let her crack on with it, she can learn the consequences of her actions, and it's not actually a big deal. Minor in the scale of potential teenage rebellion.

This ^

There's very little you can do now. Talk to her about it from a safety and cleanliness aspect but aside from that tell her to take the first pair out for school.

DD2 quite a strict school but has about 5 in each ear. I decided this is not a hill I want to die on. DH would have died on a lot of hills.

DD1 had her nipples pierced as soon as she went to uni at 18. She's an adult but that has upset me. Shite all I can do about it though.

Yep my daughter pierced her own ears with numbers 2 and 3. Apparently with an ice cube to numb it 😬 they’ve been fine and as pp have said not worth arguing over. Better than a tattoo??!!

I pierced the top of my own ear at 12. I still wear it now 25 years on. It took a while to heal, but I managed it o hide it from my mum for a good 6 months 😂😂

it’s not a hill I would die on. She can just wear that set to school and take the first ones out.

Thanks for the replies!
I shall chin up and let this one go.

By her age I’d pierced my third and fourth holes in my lobes. Once in a geography lesson with a less than sterile needle. All worked out fine and it wouldn’t even have occurred to me at 15 to run it past my mum first!

Same. God knows how we all didn't get infections. We'd sterilise the needle with a lighter.