What time do your kids go to bed?

[iwishiwasonacruise]

Basically that...

My 11 year old gets in bed anywhere between 10 and 10.30.

My 15 year old tries to push for nearer 11pm. He reckons his mates are all up til later.

This is school term time I'm talking about.

Bedtimes stay pretty similar most nights. Some mornings they are fine and awake before the alarm. Sometimes they are grumpy and tired.

Really not sure what the correct bedtimes should be to be honest. They both stay up til around 11ish on weekends and in the holidays.

Opinion pls. And please be gentle with me... I honestly can't tell if most will say its fine or I'm gonna get ripped to pieces 🤔

I think that's late for an 11 year old. My 10 year old is in bed by 9 most school nights. Occasionally later if we're doing something or watching a film etc but not by much.

My 12 year old is in bed for 9 in the week.

When my dd was 11 she was in bed for 8.30.

She's nearly 17 now and in bed for 10 but probably on her phone til closer to 11. She's up early for college.

We both need our sleep.

I have 13 and 15 year olds. Both go to bed at about 10 week nights. We ask them to get ready anytime from 9.30 though as it seems to take them FOREVER to just have a wee, brush teeth and actually get into bed.

When I was 11 I was on bed at 9. 11pm seems way too late!

I think you're about right, 11pm is probably the latest for a 15 year old, but in my opinion, if you can leave them to work out that if they stay up too late they feel rubbish the next day, that's the best way forward!

Oh dear 😳my poor 11 year old! Will have to make an effort to get her to bed earlier. Not an excuse, but I think it's crept that way as my DH works quite late, so we tend to eat later, maybe watch something together, kids shower later, otherwise we wouldn't have much evening time as a family. But I'll make a definite effort to get her to bed at least a bit earlier!

Also my 15 year old plays guitar for hours after his homework, loud enough to keep her awake! I'll have to tell him to knock it on the head a bit earlier, or guitar first and homework after!

Once mine were 11 they just went when they wanted , we were never that strict about bedtimes even when they were younger . Both were very good at self regulating - like most things ( smoking / drinking / staying up late ) it’s way less attractive if someone is saying do as you please at home .

11 year old - lights out at 10pm, 14 year old - lights out at 11:30pm, no screens in their rooms. Both get up at 7:30am. They have long lies at the weekend.

Thanks for all the opinions. Me and DH don't need much sleep, both go to bed at midnight most nights and up at 6.30/7 everyday. Don't lie in much on weekends either. My sis in law is in bed every night by 9.30! People's different sleeping patterns fascinate me lol. I suppose the kids bedtimes flow with how late the parent go to bed too... couldn't imagine getting in bed at 10 and leaving my kids up and about 😅

I’d be feeding 11 year old their main tea (and doing all showers) before 6 - they can have a smaller ‘supper’ portion with the family later. Yes the guitar is not fair ! so not after 9pm I’d say. For the 11 year old she needs a couple of hours wind- down prior to sleep. I bet if she came off screens by 7 and the house was quieter she would be asleep much earlier. She needs sleep to grow and is trying to get by on an adult timetable. Might seem fine, and she will survive but school results will suffer and tempers fray, especially when the hormones kick in. My mum raised five kids and we all went up at 9 until 18! Ok it was the 80’s but None of us were grumpy teenagers, ever! We didn’t sleep straight away but read and chilled in peace, etc. Different times these days I acknowledge - but she knew what she was doing.

DS17 10.30/11
DD15 9.30/10
dinner at 5.30pm

We never had tea before 6pm even when our kids were tiny! We are all night owls, though our 17yo daighter usually takes herself off to bed around 10pm.

We never really had bedtimes. When they were little I followed their lead and put them to bed when tired. When they got older they just rook themselves. We have a general house rule of midnight for switching off the TV/internet/consoles though as that's when DH and I go to bed

My 16yo usually takes herself to bed before 10pm on weeknights, sometimes much earlier so she can read before closing her eyes.

My 12 year old is lights out about 10
My 14 and 15 year old lights out 11 or 11.30- not strict about it, they self regulate and go to bed earlier if tired.

screens and phones kept downstairs and handed in around 9 most of the time on week days, but flexibility in that.

I am often in bed before the older two.

When I was 11 our teachers said we should watch the 9 oclock news so I was up till 9.30.
DS was probably about the same, but bed times was not a battle I was prepared to fight really, as long as he got up n the morning.

Ds is 11 and he goes to bed at 9 for reading time, one of us goes up to say goodnight at 9:30 and then he turns his light off when he’s ready. It’s usually off before 10.
I think his older sisters were probably ‘lights out by 9’ when they were his age too, last year of juniors. But now they’re older we have sort of shifted everything backwards, we are often out and about in the evenings, we eat later and dh and I have accepted that we don’t have ‘evenings to ourselves’ now!!

my gcse age teens block the bathroom go to bed at 10, lights out about half an hour later.
younger teen half an hour later.

all are up at 7 on school days.

seems to work for them, they are alert during the day.

I'd say - if there's no issue getting up in the morning or doing her homework then leave it as is - my teens go to bed anywhere between 9.30 and 11 depending on how tired they are.

The fact that you all eat together and watch tv is wonderful - I'd keep that for as long as possible. Mine watch on their screens in their room - hangover from lockdowns that's hard to crack.

All depends on how much sleep they need. I’m not a fan of set bedtimes at any age as in my view it encourages an unhealthy attitude towards sleep. I also think the really early bedtimes we see in the U.K. are a throwback to when DC were to be seen and not heard.

DC in Spain eat dinner at gone 9pm in the summer and are often out with family in the evenings and it doesn’t cause then any harm.

My 12 and 14 year olds tend to take themselves off between 9.30/10 on a school night, they're up at 6.30. Phones on charge downstairs. But I rarely need to tell them to go to bed.

Eldest 16 is a nightmare, absolutely refuses to go to bed before midnight, often up more like 1 or 2 am but what can I do? I can't make her sleep. She struggles (unsurprisingly) to get up at 6.45/7 for college but if I suggest she goes to bed earlier she insists she can't sleep earlier. On days she doesn't have to get up she'll easily sleep til lunchtime. It's not great but I don't feel I can control it now.

Whilst the younger one's bedtime is later than most, I'd ask yourself if you and your husband are happy with the set up? And the kids? Are the grumpier mornings bearable? Would an earlier bedtime change that? It sounds like you all benefit from the later evenings as you have time together, time to practise music etc.

I know a few families who naturally have later evenings with their kids as the parents work later and they would miss them if they were already in bed.

2 x 13 year olds in bed by 10. 1 x 16 year old 10.30pm. All up at 7am. Sometimes they put themselves to bed earlier. We never send them to bed they just know this is bedtime and they need their sleep and if they are stupid enough to stay up later then they deal with their own tiredness.
Weekends they can do what they want.