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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

-8 and refusing a coat

23 replies

Piscesmumma1978 · 15/12/2022 08:32

What are you supposed to do? Let them freeze?

She has to wait up to 15 minutes for the bus sometimes and it's absolutely freezing today.

Do I just let her get cold?

OP posts:
Gingerbreadcandle · 15/12/2022 08:34

My DD is the same, texts me telling me she is freezing at the bus stop but won’t wear a coat as she said that it’s too warm in college and she doesn’t want to carry it round. Have offered to buy her a new one or she could wear one she already has. Her choice 🤷🏻‍♀️

pensionconfusion · 15/12/2022 08:34

Does she have a scarf, gloves and hat?

Not much you can do 🤷‍♀️

Newuser82 · 15/12/2022 08:35

I'd totally leave it up to her.

Hooverphobe · 15/12/2022 08:35

Delighted to learn I’m not the only one. 🙄🤬

Piscesmumma1978 · 15/12/2022 08:36

Refuses gloves etc as well. She says she doesn't feel the cold.

Why are they so difficult 🙄

OP posts:
Nottodaty · 15/12/2022 08:36

I’ve just dropped my daughter to school - lots of teenagers not wearing a coat & a few girls no tights - it was -5

Piscesmumma1978 · 15/12/2022 08:37

At least she wears tights! I did get some fleece lined 300 ones last night so that makes me feel better.

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megletthesecond · 15/12/2022 08:38

Mine won't wear one either. She's miserable and the cold hurts her but she won't budge. I even offered a nike or north face option but she refused.
She's waiting for an ASD assessment. She's basically scared to do anything at school that might make people see her, taking off a coat included.

Eixample · 15/12/2022 08:41

Uniqlo has ultralight parkas that fold up really really small. Would she wear it while waiting and hide it in her bag after or would she be worried someone would see her? (I know this isn’t rational but it must be part of the coat refusal, mustn’t it?)
What’s her plan if the bus doesn’t come and she waits much longer?

Piscesmumma1978 · 15/12/2022 08:41

@megletthesecond Can you layer her up with thermals if she is feeling the cold? Base layers under might help?

My dd would never admit she's cold.

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musicandpassion · 15/12/2022 08:44

DD is 12 and won't wear a coat or tights too. She says she's inside all day so there's no point 🤦🏼‍♀️ I just let her. I figure if she's cold one day she won't do it again.

mondaytosunday · 15/12/2022 08:47

Yes. Don't know any kid who where's a coat in secondary school! Mind you they did where a jacket on the weekends.

NC30112021 · 15/12/2022 08:47

They have body autonomy at this age. It's completely up to her. You can encourage but not force anyone.

Saisong · 15/12/2022 08:48

My DD will wear a coat - is one of those padded jackets with down in, very thin but she claims is warm enough and most importantly it packs up small so she can stuff it in her bag. Point blank refuses hats (doesn't want hat hair), scarves or gloves. And she won't wear tights or trousers either - she only wears shorts at home.

Her brother on the other hand hates being cold, wears thermals, vests, double gloves, snood, hats, hood - he leaves the house like the Michelin man.

Teenagers!

Vintagevixen · 15/12/2022 08:51

Mine feels that coats, hats, scarves and gloves are embarrassing! She has grudgingly left for school this morning with a pair of the plainest black gloves on and a very light raincoat over her blazer.

However, she hadn't worn a skirt since she was 6 so at least she has trousers on!

TheYummyPatler · 15/12/2022 08:51

DS’s school basically mandates coat wearing. So they have to arrive wearing it. Or they get a day in isolation.

The fact they have to wear the coat means the kids just do. They wear it to school since they have to have it anyway.

Herbie0987 · 15/12/2022 08:52

You can buy warm duvet coats which then stuff into a little bag. Look at ski wear sports shops

TheYummyPatler · 15/12/2022 09:01

Tbh, the inadequate design of schools (and the school day) contributes to the issues. There’s no where to store a coat (certainly not securely). Even where there are lockers of reasonably size (or at all), there isn’t the time in the day to be fetching coats and putting them away repeatedly. Breaks are short and taking 10 minutes in crowded corridors to retrieve or put back a coat is not desirable.

I remember really resenting all the stuff I had to carry to, from and around secondary school. Even more so when you had to bring PE kit too. Getting issued with a large, heavy textbook by a subject was a nightmare.

Notanotherone6 · 15/12/2022 09:25

Old enough to go on a bus by themselves, old enough to know they'll get cold without a coat. My 12 year old refuses to wear a coat because she has to carry it around in school, and when she has her pe kit, it's too much, apparently.

Piscesmumma1978 · 15/12/2022 09:34

Thanks all. Maybe I'll just let her get on with it and save the morning argument. It's just frustrating as I hate the thought of her cold x

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Mercurian · 15/12/2022 09:37

Mine is the same! But thinking about it, I was the same as a teenager. Bloody stubborn to my own detriment and far too self-conscious to wear anything bulky or shows me as 'weak'. Irrational but yes, just let her be.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/12/2022 09:42

I hate wearing a coat too. Yes, I get cold sometimes but it's only temporary and it's less hassle to be cold than to be burdened with a coat for the whole day. People occasionally comment and I tell them I'm fine. Anyone who gets bossy about it is firmly told that I've been dressing myself for over 50 years and I know what I'm doing.

Having said that, a lightweight, packable, extra layer might work for her. Or little heat pads for her pockets.

banivani · 15/12/2022 09:55

I live in Sweden. It's been -5 to -12 for a couple of weeks. My teenager will only wear sneakers, and won't wear his padded coat because "it doesn't fit in my school locker and I'm not carrying it around all day".

Teens are dumb. What would they do if they lived in Sibiria I wonder.

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