DD 13yo wants theatre career... we want to suggest something in between?

[WhatNoWay]

Hi all, DD2 is asking for an audition for a 'professional show' as a Xmas present. She is mad about theatre, film, musical theatre in particular, does a lot of dance at school and plays music and goes to an after school drama club and keeps talking about an 'acting career' (seems dead serious). We are not keen on her going down that route but don't want her to drop it either - this is something she enjoys a lot and has fun doing. She has a good voice, lots of encouragement (and invites to perform at school concerts) from school music teacher, has stage presence and gets very good feedback from her drama/dance teachers. I think she has potential (but not sure how much exactly!) I've looked at BYMT and NYMT and if she does get selected for a show - 'living and breathing theatre for 2-3 weeks' is not our (and her) cup of tea... I don't want her to skip school (she's in Y8 and doing ok academically but only due to good memory - puts next to zero effort into studying although was v good as a young girl). Anyway, the question is, where do i get her a kind of an audition that is definitely not a huge commitment? not a west end show but something in between her local drama school and the high end? Any recommendations overall?? We are not keen on her choosing theatre as main career path (as in putting all eggs in the same basket way). She has mood swings, is a very emotional and anxious child prone to depression (in fact has depression signs - went through a course of therapy sessions but needs more) and thrives on stability and routine rather than late nights and disruptions and poor diet... Would greatly appreciate advice!!

All of my DC did at least one pantomime, just for the experience.
Google the theatres in your area and 'pantomime auditions' and you can find out when they are.
Some of the panto companies even have a little 'stage school' which runs for a few weeks(a half day at the weekend), so they get a bit of training too. There's a nominal fee for auditioning and training. They do not pay the child performers usually but they do get free tickets and the chance to work with professionals.

My parents went through this with my sister. My advice would be to separate it from Christmas for a start, it's not an appropriate Christmas present and making it one will make it feel like an even bigger deal than it would anyway (imagine if it's outright rejection?).

Auditioning is stressful and requires resilience, the best way forward is to make it a normal practice not a special one off, if she's going down that route.

Are you in or near a city? If so, look at local amateur dramatics. Many adult set ups will welcome /accommodate teens for the right part. They need a special licence from the council for evening shows but this is usually a formality. The shows are usually short runs eg a week or two so it would be evenings, but not such a huge commitment. My parents used to make schoolwork commitment a condition of my sister doing it.

Fwiw my sister eventually concluded it wasn't for her, and went on to do something completely different at uni. But I think she only reached that conclusion through having experience of performing and auditioning.

It's a show commitment of half the evening performances a week for the run of the show. Usually just 2 or 3 weeks.

Definitely tie it to trying harder at school.

Do you have a local theatre? Ours has a youth programme.

Check your local theatres for youth theatre groups or projects that might run during the school holidays. I know in our area there is a group called Encore Youth Theatre that is entirely run by the young members (their productions are very high quality) and many of the members go on to professional training of one sort or another. Also, Mayflower Theatre in Southampton run a youth project every summer in the school holidays.

I was just coming to say this! I wouldn't make it a present - I would make it something that she had to earn via putting in a bit more effort at school.

I would fully encourage her with this, the reason being that the other paths for young teens with depression (substance abuse, social media obsessions, school refusal) are far more destructive and absolutely anything that exposes her to a wide range of people , opportunities etc will benefit her and you in the long term. Theatre teaches so much, team work, discipline, self expression, physicality and so much more. Most high level performance schedules are rigorously controlled for kids with very strict safeguarding laws and regulations to avoid exhaustion etc etc… you have to get permission from a local authority to participate iirc and ime it’s a life enhancing experience for kids. I’m not sure about the idea of it as a Christmas present, because of the rejection element . Two of mine have been involved in big productions like this , it was fabulous, like they were welcomed into big, positive, wholesome families with exposure to really creative and brilliant people from all age ranges. Musicians, set designers, etc.
They get a thrill from it that teenagers seem to crave, bright lights, drama, late nights, parties.. all in a very controlled environment, and made friends for life. It looks great on a CV when looking for Saturday jobs etc, and it also teaches that the fame and glamour so many of them crave in the age of Instagram requires work and discipline.

Agree with trying local panto, lets her get a taste for what it can be like. And talk about the reality of stage work and how lots of people need a backup career until they get recognised - loads of interviews and discussion online about this!

I was dead set against this route with my daughter. I had a deeply unhappy 15 year old, we explored sixth form options doing performing arts and it's transformed her she fancies teaching it as a career, it's motivated, great friends. I'm glad we listened to her dreams, and we are seeing her in her show this weekend where she has the lead role! I'm really proud

Thank you all for sharing so many very useful views/stories, really helpful, would love to hear more! @CellarBellaatemycoal She is already social media obsessed I'm afraid and spends most of her time (usually the weekend) sitting in her bedroom staring at herself in the mirror or screen scrolling. We drag her out to help with house chores / ask to go to the shop but that is (almost literally) dragging her out of her room with a mighty concerted effort. She's v busy during the week after school (music, sport, drama) but manages to find time to be on phone/stare at herself and do make up anyway (spends minutes on homework and finds all subjects apart from drama 'boring'). I will explore production options but am worried she will continue to just be keen on drama and nothing else. And no she does not want to teach it, "never." 🙄

Her drama teachers should really know what sort of auditions are going on locally.

Do you have a local Pauline Quirke Academy she could join? PQA has its own agency so the children get to do auditions etc.

From your description of her behaviour/outlook it sounds like this is something that you should be encouraging, really. Not all children are good at academics or enjoy school. Far better for her to channel her energy into something wholesome, since she has the interest.

I think it’s a real shame when parents try and choose their child’s career,or put them off one!

I work in performing arts btw!

If someone is determined then it will make them even more so if their parents are trying to put them off.

Auditions for professional shows are few and far between and you have to fulfil very specific casting criteria (with height being very important for children) before even being allowed through the door.

My son took part in two NYMT shows last year as a musician. You have to be very talented to get in but it is a fantastic experience. Saying that his friend did not enjoy the experience so much but there were specific circumstances. Why not allow her to audition (its only £10) and see how she gets on. She might enjoy the experience. The commitment is a 1 week residential at Easter, 1 week in the summer followed by show week.

For my son getting involved in an amateur theatre company was life changing. The skills he learnt there of teamwork, commitment and the pure joy as an autistic boy, of being somewhere he was accepted for himself meant that he actually passed enough GCSE's to go to college and now university. It gave him a purpose. He ended up moving away from drama and onto music and is now studying music at degree level but I dread to think how things could have gone.

Other than that she could join a local amateur company but that does require commitment of weekly rehearsals plus show week.

Incidentally my daughter graduated from dance college a couple of years ago followed by a year postgrad at drama school. Her day job is working at a theatre which she loves but she is currently working for a TIE panto company. Taking panto into schools, hospitals and other community venues. She is LOVING it and sees the joy on the children's faces every day.

Hi OP my post is going to reflect similar advice from other posters - apart from it is my own experience.

When I was young I got the acting bug and went from youth drama clubs to doing performing arts BTEC and then acceptance to drama school (a very prestigious one as well if I may say so!). Drama school taught me so so much about myself (cliche I know) and skills in thinking on my feet, problem solving , writing analysis etc that even though I have an utterly daft acting degree it’s helped me immensely. I did 3 years and boy it was tough , and at the end of it I knew that if my extremely talented fellow alumni were taking years and years to get work then this wasn’t the industry for me. And I ended up going into theatre management. And I absolutely loved it !

Here I am 20-odd years later with some fantastic stories, and fantastic memories, with a brilliant career which helped me secure a stable, flexible job when I returned to a different sector after having kids. And I am happy with my decisions and the path I took.

And some of the people from home who were in my youth drama clubs who never chased it in their youth and went straight to the stable /boring choices are chasing their old performing dreams now - and honestly it seems a real shame that they never had the chance to give it a go when they were young.

Let your DD go for it and decide for herself. She will either make a living, or she won’t. But either way she will be glad she tried I’m sure.

@Nordix - speech and drama lessons at school, school drama club, school dance club, local drama club, school choir, 2 school orchestras. I bet this counts as encouraging.

So in the light of the above what makes you say that living and breathing theatre for 2-3 weeks will not be her cup of tea?

Because it's disruptive. Late nights. Emotional rollercoaster (this is someone who can't stand being given a stern look - bursts into tears, someone who keeps saying that she hates herself) and would possibly encourage her to do more of it and less of school even more. I did tell her all about this career and rejection and humiliation and no work (I was in theatre management for 8 years many many years ago) but it seems to have no effect.

Hang on - I’m confused - if the quite minimal (3 weeks?) attendance required for NYMT etc isn’t her cup of tea what is she expecting from other jobs/auditions etc?… what is it she’s actually after?

You do realise that NYMT/BYMT is residential during the school holidays?

Given your recent post - yes, if she bursts into tears at a simple stern look then she is sadly far too immature to take this forward seriously. You need to look more at am dram - but even there she must be able to take criticism.

It actually had the opposite effect on my ds.

If she can't commit to 2-3 weeks it won't be the career for her. Maybe entering her into one of those or something like West End kids might get it out of her system and she would realise what is actually involved and her competition. Casting agents such as Jessica Ronane and Jo Hawes occasionally run audition and skills workshops and short courses for under 16s. Theatre schools and provincial theatres often have youth companies and productions. Are you based near London?