Am I too strict.

[VivsMum]

My daughter has just turned 15. I think think I’m a reasonable Mum. I have brought my 2 children up by myself & they have been raised well. They are kind, clever, free spirited & mostly happy (they are teens after all). If my daughter is invited to a party or a sleepover I always ask for the parents number so I can WhatsApp & check that all is as it should be & they are happy for my daughter to be there. But other than one other friend I am the only parent that seems to do this. My daughter had a party at our house. They were allowed to bring some cider & have music loud etc & she had 14 friends over but not 1 single parent contacted me. I find this odd.. maybe I just remember how I was at that age ie sly & too big for my boots but I want to know where my daughter is. Tonight when a parent didn’t get back to me I said that she couldn’t go to a last minute party’. We have had trust issues in the past so I have an app on her phone so I know here she is at all times. But she is 15! I don’t think this is unreasonable. I’d be really interested to hear what you guys think. We are UK based btw. I have stopped my daughter from associating with certain kids before because I don’t want her falling in with crowds that smoke weed etc. it turns out that one kid I stopped her from seeing when she was 12 was recently stabbed.. so I think that kind of proves my point. We are very close & she does confide in me a lot but I do think she is embarrassed & annoyed with me sometimes. No other parents seem to care like I do. Can you advise please? Thank you!

So you wouldn't let your own DC go to a party because the hosting parents didn't get in contact with you, but you let 14 other kids come to a party that you/DC were hosting, with alcohol involved, but you weren't in contact with their parents about it? Sounds a bit unbalanced.

We are strict with our teens but so are all their friends’ parents and we mostly know each other. They go to grammar schools where most parents are pushy, controlling and helicopter though.
No way would my teen girl go on a sleepover at an unknown house or be given alcohol. So you don’t sound strict to me, at all!
However, for teens it is all about what social circle they are in and what their friends are allowed to do by their parents. In our circle, not even every 14/15 year old is allowed snapchat, so you see it is all relative! All our teens are tracked for their own safety, we live in London, they are happy with it.

@Outtasteamandluck your mum tracks your phone/you at 40???

I think you’re great, OP. I had very bohemian relaxed parents who often didn’t know where I was. By age 15 I was drinking and smoking weed in the park and snogging random boys I didn’t even fancy because I felt like that was what you were supposed to do. Things went downhill from there. Sorted myself out as an adult but I regret all of my early experiences with men.

Please don’t doubt yourself, you won’t regret being protective. I wish I’d had more protective parents.