DD and her school skirt

[BaconAndAvocado]

DD14 insists on rolling up her school kilt until it’s extremely short. Under duress, she will roll it down but it’s a battle.
DH goes mad, saying that men will look at her. Her response this morning was, “No man gets to dictate what I wear.”
When I drive past her school, a few girls are wearing their skirts extremely short too but many aren’t. I don’t think the school insists they roll their kilts down.
I drive her to school but she walks home alone.
Am I worrying needlessly?

The first thing is that your DH needs reminding that your DD is correct on that front

But I imagine the school does have a policy on it

I took up my own school skirt (and made a cackhanded job of it) at that age. Teen girls have been doing this forever. Absolutely nothing my parents would have said would have done anything except cause a fight.

Tell your H to shut it and let it go.

Perverts will stare at girls in uniform regardless of how short their skirts are.

I wouldn’t battle over this. The second you turn around she’s going to roll it up anyway. You can’t police it all day. Not worth the arguing.

My girls all do this, they do however wear gym shorts underneath.

As with above posters choose your battles!

Nope - nothing new. When we were at school almost 30 years ago I always used to say the length of our skirts was inversely proportional to the distance from the school gates!

In my case I'd roll it up, walk home, then closer to home would roll it back down again!

Back in the "olden days" though we'd be wearing the blackest of black tights you could get though.

One of the schools I drive past in the morning the girls wear checkered tartan skirts, knee high white socks and Mary Jane style shoes. I have to say it looks a little much and unnecessary and I can see why many schools just go with trousers now.

Your DD is totally right though in terms of men not dictating what she wears, up until the point that there's a school uniform policy to adhere to, just as there would be a uniform policy in many workplaces.

Your DH is bang out of order. DD's dress sense doesn't have to take toxic blokes into consideration.

Boys- pull up- girls pull down

God forbid I get it wrong one day!

You have to chuckle. Teenage girls have been doing this with their school skirts since the dawn of time, and it's only when they are older and look at the now teenagers doing it do they realise how ridiculous they look. Leave her do it and let the teachers deal with it.

DH's comment is the worst thing about your post. Enforcing the attitude that "girls ask for it" based on what they're wearing. And props to your 14yo DD for calling him out. This has been a problem in schools for decades... and quite possibly there are teachers pointing it out at school that she needs to wear a longer skirt. But honestly what's the problem? Why does it matter if her skirt is short?

Between her and school. Has been happening since time immemorial!

Left to herself DD wears jeans/leggings and an oversize hoodie/T-shirt. Faced with school uniform she does the traditional rebellion of rolling up her skirt.

She's right, girls in school uniform should not be sexualised and fetishised. But she is probably just going the traditional route of protesting against conformity by conforming to 'rebelliousness'.

If she gets a detention then that's her problem. She is exploring boundaries which is appropriate for her age.

I didn't wear a skirt for school and still got harassed by men. It doesn't matter what she's wearing. Creeps will be creeps.

Ha! I remember stapling my skirt up at that age!

My DD also does this. Her body, her choice. End of.

And also - there is absolutely no point arguing about it as she'll just roll it up as soon as she's out of sight.

It's because of us all doing this as teens that the uniform was changed to trousers for everyone

Why? He's making a valid point. When a teenage girl rolls her skirt up it's a deliberate attempt to look sexy, more adult and to attract boys/men. It's very ironic that having achieved this they then say that no man will dictate what they wear!

On the way to school, skirt rolled up, socks rolled down too. Put yourself straight when you got into school, then back to rolled up skirt out of school.

Even my dd who is 25, said the girls at her school did the same.

It's the boys and men who have to change their attitude.

i know @Bbq1 my comment wasn't meant to be trashy but honestly it's not only boys who are interested in sex.
i would see if she's honest about the reason behind this who's attention is she trying to get, is it boys? school officials by pushing boundaries? or the cool girl crowd? IF she is interested in the sexual aspect which is normal maybe focus on better ways of expressing herself to attract the attention she wants from young men of quality. if it's boundaries maybe some other activism outside of school. If the in crowd some self-esteem work etc.

As others say, it’s not new. But I was driving along at school finish the other day because I had an appointment and was a bit taken a back by how every skirt seemed to be hinched up as close to the arse cheeks as possible.
I think it’s worrying that girls should see this as liberating. Perverts and teen boys are no doubt pissing themselves laughing that girls have convinced themselves of this.

She’s right, no man should dictate what she wears and how BUT it’s school uniform BUT loads of girls at my school did it.

I remember rolling my skirt up.

DD wears a pretty short skirt which is fine, some of the older girls at high school wear skirts and you can actually see their arse cheeks.
I've warned her if I ever see an arse cheek hanging out then she will be going in trousers, so that's where i draw the line.

I hate this . We did it at school and looking ŕound secondaries i was appalled by the length of the girls skirts...literally bum cheeks hanging out.

I think it is bullshit when girls pretend it is empowering snd they dont care what men think.

They are teens doing it to look sexy and attractive. I know this snd remember how much it mattered when I was 14 or 15 but i think it puts so much pressure on the girls who are not as attractive as others or dont want to do it

They all do it. They've always done it.

When my daughter went to secondary school she chose to wear trousers as they were allowed to then.
Now it's changed and all the girls wear skirts they are short, the blazers they wear are roughly the same length.

“I will not allow any man to dictate what I wear, and I will demonstrate this by doing everything in my power to dress exactly like men would like an escort to dress”

You go girl!

Personally I think it’s pretty harmless, but yes, the dressing like a man’s sexual dream of a naughty schoolgirl isn’t exactly smashing the patriarchy.

I went to an all-girls' school, FFS, and we still did the rolling. It was simply how you demonstrated that you were Grown Up. And one of the Cool Girls.

Teenage girls are becoming aware that they have access to a new kind of power (not least the power to frighten and piss off their parents) and they're experimenting with it. In this case, in a relatively harmless way. I really would not intervene.