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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How much time does your teenager spend on gaming consoles? Is mine the only addict?

26 replies

mumblechum · 25/01/2008 18:27

Ds got a PS3 for Xmas. He already had a PS2 and PSP. He's been thru phases where he hasn't gamed at all for weeks on end, but specially now the weather's so crap all he does in the evenings is gaming.

At weekends he'lll usually have a mate round at some point or he'll go to theirs, and guess what they do the whole time.

Have been trying to get him to go swimming & stuff on Sat afternoons but he's quite resistant.

What are your lads like and should I try to limit it more (in theory it's an hour and a half a day but in practice and at weekends it's often 4 hours plus).

OP posts:

Freckle · 25/01/2008 18:37

Mine are banned from all electronic games/computer games during the week. It just interferes with homework and other activities. They know they are not allowed on them - unless they have friends round which does tend to lead to them asking to have friends round every evening . They don't.

Weekends it is bit of a free for all, although I do ensure homework is done and certain chores have to be done too. DS2 has rugby on Sundays so is out of the house and getting exercise then, but DS1 resists all exercise, so I normally insist he take the dogs for a good run at some point.

saffy202 · 25/01/2008 18:57

Well my two would much rather be out on bikes/playing football but as you say it is bad weather and dark nights. DS1 plays on his consoles most days BUT he is sporty and goes to football/cricket/badmington clubs so it might only be an hour or so, so I don't worry too much although I insist homework comes first.

fizzbuzz · 27/01/2008 14:54

Ds alternates betwwn xbox live, and WOW (world of warcraft) He spends hours on them.......

admylin · 27/01/2008 14:59

Mine aren't teenagers yet but they know that they have to do their 'real life' stuff first like sport, homework, tidy room etc and then it's either TV or play nintendo for 1 hour max. I think you should try to reduce the time abit, 4 hours is alot. Not sure how you would go about that though, teenagers are still just a dreaded species that I am not looking forward to experiencing!

fizzbuzz · 27/01/2008 15:30

My son would do other stuff.........but then he became a teenager. He likes to lurk in his room all the time............

missingtheaction · 27/01/2008 17:12

mine is about to be 18 and is a hopeless no-life addict. i am at my wits end. Despite limiting it (eg bans during the week) he still loves it, and other activities tend to be done only because he's not allowed on the pc/console ie banning it has not led to him finding other healthier (emotioanlly and physically) things to do. He is a loner, truly happy in his own company. have had him tested for Aspergers in the past, he isn't but he's definitely towards that end of the spectrum. I Have managed to keep all games/tvs etc out of bedrooms; the kids have a sort of den they can use as a sitting room which at least means there are no privacy issues and I can just march right in and drag him away if necessary. BUT at least he's not getting into trouble in pubs/with girls etc

fizzbuzz · 27/01/2008 17:43

missing the action, I think loads of them are like that.

My ds goes on xboxlive. He's alays playing his mates who are all in their bedroomsor even 6th formers. No girls ever play though.........

Swedes · 27/01/2008 17:55

I ban games consoles from 5pm Sunday til they get home from school on Friday. DS2 is banned from all electronics this weekend for telling a fib and it's been lovely. He's been out to the vegetable market with me, accompanied me to look at a house, and today he made Yorkshire Puddings and baked a chocolate cake - it was lovely to spend time with him. I told him I might ban him more often.

needmorecoffee · 27/01/2008 18:03

at the moment its all day weekends for ds1 and every night after school. He's discoeverd World of Warcraft online. ds2 does it all day weekdays (he's home educated)
But I'd rather they were there than out drinking and mugging people

needmorecoffee · 27/01/2008 18:05

how can one ban a 'young adult' from stuff they enjoy? I bet any adult would feel resentful if their partner banned them from mumsnet or TV or what have you.
Seems unfair to me.

hercules1 · 27/01/2008 18:06

Ds has a pc in his room and can play on it for about 30 minutes a day weekdays after homework and probably an hour or so at the weekend. He has lots of other things that take up his time - sports, choir etc. I wont have other game consoles in the house but the pc is handy as he does his homework on it mostly. Why dont you just get rid of them? WHy buy a ps3 for him if he already has 2 consoles and plays too much already?

hercules1 · 27/01/2008 18:07

You dont have to ban and anyway these are kids not adults so I dont see what's wrong with banning. Do you really let your child play on the game console all day every day? Is that he? Ds would love that!
You need to ensure they have other stuff that stimulates them to do too.

Rosylily · 27/01/2008 18:11

My son is totally addicted to world of warcraft and it's a constant battle to get him off it.
He has just done his mocks and if the results are bad I'm going to put the computer away for a few months.
He does do other things and chats on msn while playing so I'm just hoping he will grow out of it.
If he puts as much dedication and concentration into his job in future he'll be okay.

needmorecoffee · 27/01/2008 18:13

my kids all read too but surely what they choose to do is what they choose to do. Just cos I have a different opinion of it doesn't make me right and them wrong.
At 14, my eldest son is old enough to make his own mind up and he does too. He was home educated for 8 years and played consoles for a lot of that but at 13 he chose to go to school and he now chooses to stay there and do GCSE's. Which I think is pretty remarkable. How many teens who have been forced into school would go if they had free choice? So, when he gets home, having caught the bus at 7.30 and getting home at 5, if he chooses to relax playing consoles I don't see a problme. Same at weekends. He reads and plays keyboard too but has no interest in sports or clubs.
I respect his choices and he respects my choices of sitting and watching Buffy and Holby City.

hercules1 · 27/01/2008 18:17

I actually agree with the whole he thing but am surprised you would think it okay to let a child play on game consoles all day. But you are right actually that an education in the sense I was thinking of isn't the only way to be. I find your view points interesting and was surprised at this one. But I can see where you are coming from. Not for me though but you are right doesn't make you wrong.

fizzbuzz · 27/01/2008 18:18

I agree needmorecoffee. It is ultimately his life, he works hard at school, does paper round, has friends and reads a lot. He isn't sporty at all, so if he likes to chill on these things why not? I spend hours on here after all......

I wish msn had been around when I was young, or even xboxlive

hercules1 · 27/01/2008 18:18

Not sure if ds would choose to go to school if he had the choice. He loves school and does a lot of extra curricular stuff there so on the one hand I'd say he'd choose to go. But as he's never been given a choice it's never been an issue. If he'd been brought up with a choice of course he might feel differently.

needmorecoffee · 27/01/2008 18:20

oh, in that 8 years they did all sorts of things too but gaming has been a big part of their lives. They learned to spell playing Runescape.
At 13 my daughter won an academic place at a posh school (she left after a year as it was too easy) and then the following year when ds1 truned 13 he also won an academic place at another private school. He was pretty far ahead too. He's still there. ds2 (12) takes the school exam on Tuesday.
Games are amazing learning tools in my opinion. My boys prefer strategy and roleplaying but I like first person shooters

needmorecoffee · 27/01/2008 18:21

bit hypocritical of mumsnetters to say younger poeple shouldn't spend so long on the computer to be honest....

hercules1 · 27/01/2008 18:25

Possibly but I do lots of things that as a parent I wouldn't let my kids do. Also I am out of the house for long hours during the week so only mumsnet when I am at home usually some evenings and the weekends. Wouldnt do it all day every day.

mumeeee · 27/01/2008 20:55

DD3 is 16 and plays a lot on her nintendo DS and also goes on the computer quite a bit. But she knows she is not allowed to do this all day and that she has to do her homework.
DD2 is 18 and she makes up her own mind what to do. She doesn't play on consoles but she is on her laptop a lot. But she also knows she needs to get her college work done.
needmorecoffee I would not let a 14 yearold play on consoles all day.

Loshad · 28/01/2008 10:03

I don't ban mine off them, like needmorecoffee says, they leave home at 7.30 in the morning, work hard all day at school, often there is rugby /scouts etc in the evening after school, they play lots of rugby at the weekend, so as long as the homework is done then i really don't see why they can't spend their Free time as they choose - vegging out, watching tv, glued to msn or whatever. I find in particular the games consoles/computer game s ebb abd flow, they'll be addicted to them for a while, then not touch them for ages.
The weather/darkness at this time of year doesn't help in terms of attracting them away from inside pleaseures.

Mum2Luke · 28/01/2008 17:34

I have a 17 yr old and at the moment his Xbox is away being fixed so he isn't on it but driving me mad playing footy in the living room with our youngest!

He doesn't go on it all the time as he is at college doing A levels, he does play sports at college which is in the grounds of his old school that has a huge field, gym and fitness centre for the pupils.

He does his work and uses the Xbox as relaxation so I don't mind. I will never buy a Nintendo Ds for the 5 yr old as he would be on it non-stop, I don't agree with them really as i think it makes kids anti-social. My son has one of those Leapster game consoles which is educational as well as fun but is not on it all the time, he does football training and swimming.

Lulah · 28/01/2008 19:07

My son is 16+ and is very bright he spends time between X Box and his gaming computer but he does all his schoolwork .
He sometimes gets bored with them both and then annoys everyone else in the house.
However some good he s now building his own gaming computer!!!

Original poster

mumblechum · 29/01/2008 12:13

Wow, lots of replies! Have been off MN since Friday.

On Sun, I asked my dh for backup (it was his decision to buy another console, not mine).

He told ds he can spend as many hours as he likes on the PS3

as long as he spends an equal number of hours exercising .

So on Sunday ds did a total of 3 hours bikeriding and rowing to earn 3 hours on the console.

Genius!

OP posts:

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