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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

18th Birthday Party at home - any tips?

63 replies

AnnaGB · 07/08/2022 17:06

Our 18 year old is having a party at home in a couple of days. Hopefully if weather holds out it will be mainly in the garden.

We’ve getting bottled beer, canned soft drinks, 2l bottles of mixers and couple of bottles of spirits, cups, ice, lemons. Some crisps and snacks. Also I’m sure people will bring their own.

It will be for about 50 guests and my daughter says quite a few will want to stay over because they can’t get home easily.

Two things I’m worried about, firstly as we’re providing alcohol do we have to check no one is still 17?

Secondly if lots of them stay over do I need to feed them later and in the morning?

Worried there will be lots of boozed up hungry people up all night but I’m assured by my daughter they won’t expect food so not to worry.

Any advice/tips welcome.

OP posts:
AnnaGB · 09/08/2022 11:16

Lovetogarden2022, agree there are definitely risks and someone always over indulges. I wasn't intending to go to bed (not till later) but be upstairs once everyone had arrived and come down to check on them.

We had a talk about what happens if there is an accident etc, and a friend's teenager had stomach pumped at a party recently, so had that in the back of my mind.

Thank you - I had been worrying about most of those things you mention and thought them manageable - though not the fighting, overdose, or roof incident, they sounds awful.

You've made some very valid points and given me more to think about.

OP posts:
stilldumdedumming · 09/08/2022 14:19

For balance, most of the things we (I) worry about don't happen. Fingers crossed.

converseandjeans · 09/08/2022 14:37

50 is a large number. I teach teenagers & I would find that a large number to control. Also midweek might not be popular.

Anyway if it's going ahead anyway I would suggest

  • another parent on hand
  • flexitubs with ice for mixers & beers
  • bins
  • gazebo with some of those lights like they have in love island strung across garden so it's light out there. Maybe some nice balloons? Photo booth?
  • if possible close off upstairs (maybe a parent sits by stairs as they may try to sneak past)
  • food (hotdogs might go down well & you can get veggie ones)

She needs to give you a better idea of who is coming. Do you have an adult who can sit at front door while you are in house?

happystory · 09/08/2022 14:43

There will be drama but hopefully none that you have to intervene in. We had girls crying in the bathroom on both occasions. It's nerve wracking I'm not going to lie. Unbeknownst to us someone kindly brought pink cupcakes and they were all over the floor the next day. I'd check on your dog though, we did have kids going upstairs .....

BeginningBridge · 09/08/2022 16:55

Be careful of gatecrashers. A friends daughter had a smallish party for her 18th but had had a large group of gatecrashers.

They were from the same 6 form college and part of a wider friends network. They saw on Snapchat a group of college students in the same location and ( correctly) worked out that there was a party.

Another suggestion is to move onto a silent disco at a pre-agreed time.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/08/2022 16:57

if possible close off upstairs

with 50 drinking teens that might not be possible. we had queues for the upstairs loo even with 20 teens!

happystory · 18/08/2022 11:27

Has the party happened yet AnnaGB?

AnnaGB · 18/08/2022 15:14

Party was great though did take a great deal of time to get the house ready. DD, DH and I spent most of the party day moving furniture and setting up the lights/speakers. The weather forecast was awful and we made contingency plans to move the party inside. We borrowed a large gazebo but it had no side so any wind and they’d all get soaked. We moved out most of the furniture into the garage except sofas and dining table. Some guests arrived at 5pm and others later.

DH took the dog out and I joined him later for a couple of hours.

Weather during the actual party was fine so they were inside and outside. Don’t know how many turned up but at 9 when I went out there were about 20+.

No dramas, quarrels or spillages, nothing missing or broken. A few went upstairs as they’d left their bags up there but generally they all stayed downstairs.

There was plenty of drinking, smoking, vaping, dancing - typical party. They scoffed down pizza and hot dogs, so think that helped balance the booze intake.

Neighbours reacted really well to the notes we put through their doors, texting to wish DD a happy birthday and a few brought round cards and a bottle of wine/bubbles. I wasn’t expecting that and she was really pleased. No-one complained, music was turned down at 11, party continued inside, most guests gone by midnight. A couple left at 1, and a couple stayed over.

All in all a lovely evening, they were very appreciative and helped tidy up.

A level results came out today and sounds like they’ll be out again tonight! Oh where do they get the energy?

Thank you for all the tips and advice. Can you believe the downstairs loo lock broke the day before the party? ;-) They were very quick in and out so not much of a queue, and no one asked to go upstairs.

We bought bottled beer, some spirits and plenty of soft drinks as well as bottles of water. They got through a LOT of booze and also brought their own, and there was some bottles left over.

Think we were very lucky, we got off lightly.

OP posts:
happystory · 18/08/2022 22:41

That's good to hear, sounds like it went well!

Bernadinetta · 21/08/2022 12:34

Brilliant, OP. Thanks for updating.

AnnaGB · 21/08/2022 19:48

Thank you! Yes overall went well, I was surprised by how many were smoking (including DD) but they were all outside. DH and I tidied up the garden in the morning before they got up as we didn’t want the dog to eat any rubbish.

Someone brought their own ash tray! Found it in the garden. They ate the Nutella and some croissants meant for breakfast, and some chocolates in the fridge, think they had the munchies.

We changed the downstairs light bulbs to lower wattage coloured lights and bought a colour changing light bulb for outside.

www.robertdyas.co.uk/tcp-b22-bc-led-3-5w-rgb-remote-control-classic-light-bulb-1-pack?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=17679582202&cq_term=&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIreCClcvY-QIVdGHmCh2kbAAFEAQYASABEgIz6fD_BwE

We already had fairy lights, outdoors lights from Christmas and a couple of camping lanterns so the garden looked nice and we were able to have enough lights around the steps etc.

Thanks again to everyone for the tips and support, I did have a few restless nights beforehand but it all went well in the end.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 21/08/2022 19:56

Sounds like a lovely evening.

balalake · 22/08/2022 18:09

You definitely got off lightly. Hope A level results were those wished for.

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