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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

18th Birthday Party at home - any tips?

63 replies

AnnaGB · 07/08/2022 17:06

Our 18 year old is having a party at home in a couple of days. Hopefully if weather holds out it will be mainly in the garden.

We’ve getting bottled beer, canned soft drinks, 2l bottles of mixers and couple of bottles of spirits, cups, ice, lemons. Some crisps and snacks. Also I’m sure people will bring their own.

It will be for about 50 guests and my daughter says quite a few will want to stay over because they can’t get home easily.

Two things I’m worried about, firstly as we’re providing alcohol do we have to check no one is still 17?

Secondly if lots of them stay over do I need to feed them later and in the morning?

Worried there will be lots of boozed up hungry people up all night but I’m assured by my daughter they won’t expect food so not to worry.

Any advice/tips welcome.

OP posts:
MumofSpud · 07/08/2022 22:12

Oh and yes I got her to go round and tell the neighbours beforehand - none complained
Also I moved lots of things upstairs (which was out of bounds)
Dog / cat were sent away as well for the night!
For my DS's 18th we left them to it and stayed away - when we came back the next day the ones who had stayed had cleaned everything- No way would I trust DD though!

Original poster
AnnaGB · 07/08/2022 22:22

Thanks, yes too late to back out now! Hoping I don’t have to phone anyones parents. I don’t know many of her 6th former friends but good point I will dig out the classlist from GCSE. Oh it’s going to be interesting ….. I really don’t want people being sick in the house and garden

OP posts:
Doodar · 07/08/2022 22:33

they'll all bring vodka
have strategic buckets placed around the house
warn the neighbours
have a set time for it to finish
they all vape
I said no weed, live in a built up urban area
lock any rooms you don't want used if possible
remove all soft furnishings
cover anything breakable, like cooking hobs, glass tables
put all drinks in big containers, saves then going in/out of the fridge
it will be fine

KittyMcKitty · 07/08/2022 22:33

Have a list and check them off when they arrive. It’s a good idea to provide some food even if just bread or chips and also make sure water is obviously available.

Theyll all arrive with whatever they intend to drink - probably vodka - and they’ll keep hood of it.

make
it
clear where they can go in the house and what time the party is over. Put away anything precious.

Someone will be sick, you may well need to phone a parent to retrieve someone, there will be some tears undoubtedly.

KittyMcKitty · 07/08/2022 22:34

As others have said they won’t smoke but will vape.

MumofSpud · 07/08/2022 22:38

We also had a girl turn up with her mum - they had come by public transport so the mum asked if there was a coffee shop near she could wait in (??!!) DH was on door duty and said she could stay - so she did - in the kitchen with a cup of tea!

LittleGreenBeetle · 07/08/2022 22:39

Remove the bolt from the toilet door to prevent anyone from locking themselves in there and clogging it up for an extended period (for sex, passing out or vomiting - just don't ask!).

KittyMcKitty · 07/08/2022 22:45

Oh and if you have an Alexa unplug it and hide it otherwise you’ll hear hours of drunk teens yelling “Alexa play …” and “Alexa turn the volume up”

stilldumdedumming · 07/08/2022 22:55

To be honest OP I am a massive worrier and I would probably say don't worry. Stuff will happen and you will need to mop up true, but you can't think about it too much. You've agreed now and it'll probably be ok.

UrsulaPandress · 07/08/2022 23:02

Aw this is making me nostalgic for my dds 18th. I’d booked a hall but they were arsey so we had it at home. DH and I sat upstairs. They all brought vodka or beer. I provided pizza and snacks. I was shouted down to dance to The Killers. The dog joined in. I think they went off to a club later.

Iflyaway · 07/08/2022 23:09

I’m assured by my daughter they won’t expect food so not to worry.

Yep, that's teenagers for you lol.....

Change123today · 07/08/2022 23:15

List of names & be firm on a manageable number (your very brave for 50!)

We provided lots of mixes - coke/lemonade etc they all brought their own alcohol. We did provide snacks, pizza etc all eaten! Even though my daughter sweared no one would eat!! They did randomly decided to have a food fight so be aware of the cleaning! We brought throwaway cups and bins placed around the garden and kitchen!

Id be a bit worried about the sleeping over - agree an end time of the party. And who is staying! Unless your happy for an all night party!!

Other than the clean up after the food fight - marshmallow (don’t buy them as it’s will be sticky and hard to clean up!) They turned down the music and (attempted) tidy up at the finish time!

threadneedle · 07/08/2022 23:30

We've had a lot of teen parties, no horror stories yet. 50 is a lot for an average size house. I'd say 30/35 would be more manageable.

Fill your fridge with pizzas, no matter what they say they will all be eaten. I usually estimate 1/2 pizza each, lots of teens are vegetarian now so more margarita than pepperoni! Also garlic bread ready made from the supermarket is good for soakage!

Keep upstairs out of bounds, it makes life easier.

Don't worry too much about where they'll sleep, they'll be too drunk to care and will sleep anywhere.

I usually do breakfast the next day, they all appreciate it and it's fun to hear the gossip about what went on.

IME teenagers are great fun, and usually very appreciative that you've let them party at your house. Yes there is usually someone who gets sick but the kids usually clean up and I only hear about it afterwards.

I hope it all goes well!

EddieHowesBlackandWhiteArmy · 07/08/2022 23:39

I think you’re mad for having 50 unless you live in a v spacious house. We let DD have a party for her 16th and there was about 35 and the place was rocking. We live in a decent sized 4 bed semi and you couldn’t move for teens. And they were in the garden. DD found it really stressful and ended up in tears in the toilet at one point as was so overwhelmed and it was during that 5 minutes where I talked her down that we agreed, no more house parties 😂

EddieHowesBlackandWhiteArmy · 07/08/2022 23:40

(She definitely prefers being a guest to hosting!)

Bernadinetta · 08/08/2022 18:27

When is the party @AnnaGB ? Do come back and update us!!

WeAllHaveWings · 08/08/2022 18:50

Lots of bins. Somebody will be sick, someone will have a drama too!

I forgot about the dramas, I didn't hear it because I had my earplugs in.

ds told me there was one person sick, but there were a couple of kids there that did a great job of cleaning it up and I didn't even spot it in the morning.

He also told me there was a fight (just a disagreement couple of swings at each other) between a couple of the boys, but it was quickly split up and they diffused the situation.

So all in all ok as they sorted it out themselves, but that is because there were only 20 of them and ds was careful who he invited as he doesn't enjoy dramas.

Keep an eye on your dog, ours was really unsettled by having his home invaded by drunk teenagers.

Eiapopeia · 08/08/2022 19:16

All I can say is that you are very brave doing this for 50. I did it for a smaller number, and the person who became catastrophically drunk and unconscious sort of put a damper on it...

BTW, some will smoke, some will vape, some will do weed. You have to be absolutely strict about them doing none of those things inside.

Original poster
AnnaGB · 08/08/2022 20:17

Party is middle of next week, will let you all know how it goes. Have spoken to nearest neighbours and dropped notes through the doors of the others, so hopefully they won’t complain.

OP posts:
SeemsSoUnfair · 08/08/2022 21:33

You are going to be popular with the neighbours. A party for 50 teens on a school work night! 😱. Why on earth are you having it mid week?

Have you told your dd they are to leave early? Parties usually go on until 3-4am or even later here, but there are much fewer less kids and they are mostly indoors.

milkysmum · 08/08/2022 22:28

50 teens - mid week! If i was one of your neighbours i would be less than impressed. ( unless your neighbours are pretty far away and then fair enough ). Why on earth are you not having on a weekend though?

MumofSpud · 09/08/2022 09:29

WeAllHaveWings · 08/08/2022 18:50

Lots of bins. Somebody will be sick, someone will have a drama too!

I forgot about the dramas, I didn't hear it because I had my earplugs in.

ds told me there was one person sick, but there were a couple of kids there that did a great job of cleaning it up and I didn't even spot it in the morning.

He also told me there was a fight (just a disagreement couple of swings at each other) between a couple of the boys, but it was quickly split up and they diffused the situation.

So all in all ok as they sorted it out themselves, but that is because there were only 20 of them and ds was careful who he invited as he doesn't enjoy dramas.

Keep an eye on your dog, ours was really unsettled by having his home invaded by drunk teenagers.

We put our dog and cat in kennels overnight- dog would have gone mad (happy mad) with all the pizza on the floor!

Lovetogarden2022 · 09/08/2022 09:56

I personally think 50 is far too many 😬 it sounds like you live in a built up neighbourhood too so not very considerate of neighbours.
Our neighbour had an 18th party but there were maybe 25 there, it started early and there was no noise past 10.30/11. When I was 18, the "house parties" were again around 20 people, and any more than that the parents hired a separate venue. Or they'd have a mix of 18 year olds and then aunties/uncles/family friends etc, but never more than 30 people in total.

It's an enormous amount of responsibility for you which your DD needs to be aware of. What if someone sneaks in drugs and has an overdose? Or someone ends up needing their stomach pumped? Or someone gets drunk and hurts themselves? Or the police turn up? Or there's a serious fight? These were all things that happened at even the tame parties I went to - notably one boy downed a bottle of vodka and jumped off the roof of a house (god knows how, but he's still alive).

I'd make sure you have some of your own friends there for backup (possibly some of your daughter's friends parents?) Invite them over for a takeaway and you can be having your own party inside whilst keeping a watchful eye.

Your daughter is going to have plenty of time to have wild parties where she can be irresponsible when she leaves home and has her own house or flat. It's probably too late to cancel the whole thing now, but I'd sit her down and have a very serious conversation with her about consequences.

I don't mean to sound like a party pooper, but as someone who works with a lot of teenagers and has heard countless tales of things that happen at parties such as this, there's no way I'd be leaving them to it and going upstairs to bed. I've heard WAY more horror stories (from teenagers themselves) than I have heard nice stories from parties like this.

I'm sure she herself is very sensible, but her friends may not be.

Original poster
AnnaGB · 09/08/2022 09:56

Some neighbours (closest) are away and it’s a semi rural location so neighbours not too close. There will still be noise, and in this heat with windows and doors open noise will travel. Music will be inside and turned down by 11.

Week night not ideal but chosen due to holidays, and A level results coming out. Going through the guest list soon and expect some more will have declined due to holidays.

OP posts:
milkysmum · 09/08/2022 10:08

Definitely get a few more adults on hand- 100%.