18th Birthday Party at home - any tips?

[AnnaGB]

Our 18 year old is having a party at home in a couple of days. Hopefully if weather holds out it will be mainly in the garden.

We’ve getting bottled beer, canned soft drinks, 2l bottles of mixers and couple of bottles of spirits, cups, ice, lemons. Some crisps and snacks. Also I’m sure people will bring their own.

It will be for about 50 guests and my daughter says quite a few will want to stay over because they can’t get home easily.

Two things I’m worried about, firstly as we’re providing alcohol do we have to check no one is still 17?

Secondly if lots of them stay over do I need to feed them later and in the morning?

Worried there will be lots of boozed up hungry people up all night but I’m assured by my daughter they won’t expect food so not to worry.

Any advice/tips welcome.

Are all 50 guests teens or is that a mix of adults/ family also?
I would say you need to do some food to be honest, or be prepared to order in ( just pizzas or something similar )

Some pizzas etc to soak up the booze is a good idea…. Plenty of carbs.

you need pizzas or something in the evening to soak up the drink. I would do sausages in rolls for late breakfast. Also just be ready if anything happens!

Thanks milkysmum. Guests will be just teens, no family or other adults, though I will stay for most of it. Sounds like I need to be prepared to drive to the nearest Dominos - unfortunately they don’t deliver to our area.

I agree about providing food but daughter is adamant I am just fussing and no one will expect food. I agree they don’t expect it but am sure it will be appreciated and eaten.

We have had a few 18th at home. The largest was for about 100 guests, all teenagers.
i didn’t provide any straight spirits, just beer, cider, Prosecco and cans of premixed cocktails.
Do order pizzas.
Do place bins everywhere.
Do get a guest list in advance
Do find out how many are staying over and figure out where they are sleeping.
If you have neighbours do set a finishing time in advance when music has to stop.

I also wouldn't be providing spirits at this age, lots will be under 18 ( no matter what they or your daughter says ), and either way a load of teens drinking spirits will be a disaster. Stick with lower alcohol drinks. If your budget stretches to dominos great, if not buy a stack of frozen pizzas and just keep whacking them in the oven .

Thanks for all your replies. Have to say I am a bit concerned about providing spirits but my daughter says they’re no longer into cider/alcopops so will bring bottles of vodka.

She’s the youngest of her friends so all the others should be 18, or will be by 31st August.

Have been asking her for the guest list and how many people are staying over. She says the invite is on a closed Instagram group and she’ll count them up nearer the time.

Oh, it’s such a fine line between being relaxed but making sure they all have a good time with no repercussions on the night.

DH had a simple solution to DD being slow at providing a guest list. He told her only people on the list could get in the door so no list = no guest.

Even if the invite is on a private Instagram group people will still want to bring their boyfriend/ girlfriend/rugby team/chess club

Hi, we had one recently but smaller numbers.

They will bring lots of booze themselves so don't get too much!

Someone will definitely end up sick!

We did grown ups food at about 9 then sausages for the teens at about 10.30.

All lovely overall! Hope it goes OK 😁

Thanks. Chmneypot. We’ve had a few prickly discussions about the guest list, and numbers.

Did you have many turn up who weren’t on the list?

Ds had his 18th at home earlier this year, but only 20 guests who were all good friends and he knew didn't go OTT at parties. You are brave with 50 😱

He also said he wanted no food or decorations, so all I provided was lots of glasses, mixers, Pringles/doritos, and a cake/paper plates/napkins. They arranged/ordered/paid for dominos between themselves (12 empty Pizza boxes the next day 🤣). He said this is standard at the parties he's been too.

Leave stuff out and teach her how to clean up sick would be my biggest tip, because there is always one that misjudges the amount they can drink, then retire to your bedroom with silicon ear plugs and leave them to it.

We had one recently it was Ok. Tiny bit of trouble but not too much. I thought way too much drink but they drank it dry. And she's right not interested in cider or alcopops.

A neighbour called the police as they took ages to leave but I do think there was some racism going on there as they were causing no trouble at all. The police were fine.

I insist on food and nobody touched it. But it's worth getting pizzas in just in case. And lots of crisps.

Plastic shot glasses to control measures of any shots.

Lots of bins. Somebody will be sick, someone will have a drama too!

Also last year they broke stuff including the only expensive thing we have in the house. They didn't mean to. This year we put loads of stuff away and didn't have anyone upstairs.

Honestly it was fine, but I don't like it at all and I'm not doing another.

I knew hardly any of them - but the friends of friends who arrived were actually fun from what I saw (minimal) and left when asked. I had a rule of no drugs. It was minimal. A minority I'd say. 50 is loads tho and to be honest, I'd be freaking out!

DS had about 20 friends over when he turned 18. I provided beer, cocktails in cans and juice plus crisps, sweets and birthday cake (leftover from family do the night before). I had ten pizzas delivered at 9pm.

About half stayed over and I did a just eat breakfast roll order for anyone still there at noon when I woke them!

Buy all the bog roll , for 50 odd people drinking. And leave cleaning supplies out in your loo so that anyone who is a bit sick can clear up after themselves.

If they’re drinking indoors a ‘spillage’ kit in each room, just some tea towels or kitchen roll handy.

Recycling boxes out prominently for empties.

Cheap instant coffee out in the morning so they don’t demolish your good stuff. Extra milk in, dig out all the spare mugs.

Yes to food, frozen pizzas are a good idea.

I braved a similar-sized 18th party for my DC a few years back. Mine said no food, but I put out some mini-pizzas, crisps etc, and they all wolfed them down! I hid in an upstairs room throughout, and it all went fine. I'd pre-warned neighbours, so no complaints from them, even though it was quite noisy. A couple of pukers, and one or two friendship dramas, but no drugs. Another condition was that they cleaned everything up the next day. I'm really glad I did it, as they all had an amazing time, and still talk about it now!

DD had warned them all there was a guest list and only people on it were going to get in but we had about 15 extra that we did let in. They were on the boys sports team that DD is on the girls team so they weren’t random strangers.
We did pizzas even though DD said no and they were much appreciated.
There was a huge amount of alcohol consumed and there were definitely empty spirits bottle in the bins even though we didn’t provide any.
No puke anywhere so either they made it to the toilets or no one puked.
We blocked off the stairs and didn’t let anyone upstairs.
About 10 of the teens helped tidy up at the end of the night.

The other 18ths we had were much smaller 20-30 people but we have never had any problems or trouble at them either.

Oh my, I hadn’t thought about the drugs thing, maybe being naive on my part. I should say that to her, that we will ask anyone to leave who brings them. What about cigarettes? Do teenagers smoke these days? I’ve never smelled smoke on my daughter so don’t think she does.

We live in a really quiet street, most people are retired so am going to tell the immediate neighbours in person, hopefully they might go away for the night. Will pop notes through the doors of the other neighbours.

We have a dog so already have a stair gate which blocks off the stairs and downstairs loo so can keep everyone from going upstairs.

DD initially said there would be 20 people and she wanted us to go away for the night. Then eventually agreed I could stay at home and actually it was 50 people. Kind of feel like she deserves a party having had her 16th during COVID and not having a party.

Also we haven’t had a party before so hoping neighbours are understanding.

Will ask them to move the music/spreaders inside at 11.

Good tip about leaving cleaning things out and will plenty of kitchen and toilet roll.

Have to say I am definitely worried but had some crazy parties when in my time - couple of decades ago now!

That was good of her to agree you could stay in your own home ..:

You're being really naive here. 50 is a mental amount in a home and yes they'll bring drugs and be smoking

Honestly don't let her dictate this to you: yes there is compromise to be had but don't let her guide YOU on this

I wouldn't say there'll definitely be drugs. Depends on her crowd. And more likely elf bars than cigarettes (both are legal I think). I am very anti drugs in my house (my friends aren't allowed either) but it really was only a few I think. And a lot of the boys round here get into small time dealing as well as county lines so it's a real risk in her circle (which is incredibly sad). So you I think you can't worry too much about that. But 50 is too many for me. Unless you have a massive house/ garden? Would she downscale- sounds fun but could be quite stressful for your dd.

DD had a party for her 18th earlier this year.

We provided some cheapo weak bucks fizz and lots of mixers as she said everyone would bring their own - which we did. We put out loads of crisps and sweets for them to graze on then went to the pub for a couple of hours. I ordered 10 pizzas for 9.30 (so they had been drinking for two hours so it helped soak it up) and we came back by 10pm. They were mainly in the kitchen and garden and we pre-warned the neighbours. There were several dramas / tears between the girls and their boyfriends; 3 of them were sick but no fights / drugs / uninvited guests.

Good luck.

I let my dd have a few parties tho not for 50! They generally got hungry around 11 ish so a takeaway wud typically happens. Never fed people next day but I'd have some bread in for toast. Could get sausage/bacon just in case but I wouldn't feel obliged. I just camped in my room n watched a film.

Oh crap, am really worrying now. They’ll be in the garden mostly. she thinks they won’t all come at the same time.

We have a gazebo thing borrowed from a neighbour for outside, and a patio area.

Our house is quite out of the way so I don’t think there will be many gate crashers. This could all go pear shaped!

We have a tent we were going to put up in the garden so some could sleep in that. LOL could clear out the shed as well ……… think it’s going to be a risk but my heart goes out to her year group, they didn’t have a Prom or get to say bye to friends properly in Year 11 because of Covid, and they’ve gone to different places for 6th Form so is first time she is seeing some of them for ages.

Don’t think I am going to sleep well till it’s all over.

My DD has her 16th at home (I did a 'live' thread on here - September 2021)
My tips for an 18th? Don't! They can go to a nightclub!
But as it's only a couple of days away - yes provide pizza
I provided beer (Bud as it would be low ish alcohol and knew it wouldn't be popular and cider aswell as loads of soft drinks - waste of time really as they all came with bottles of vodka / rum / tequila
Me and DH thought we'd be locked in our bedroom but actually stayed in the kitchen / front door duty / I went around every so often with a bin bag (Do NOT provide sweets / marshmallows / party popper things - when they end up on the floor mixed with spilt alcohol they all become glue!)
Only one vomiter! I got her mum to collect her straightaway!

The mess!

Definitely some pizzas/carbs, crisps cocktail sausages or mini sausage rolls to soak up the alcohol.

We provided beer, cider and few bottles Prosecco, lemonade and coke. We kept water jugs visible and readily available with plastic glasses. This will especially be needed this week as the weather is so warm. We didn't provide spirits as the kids brought their own.

Keep plenty of black bin liners or empty cardboard boxes for cans and recycling dotted around and empty plastic carrier bags available for those who may not make it to the loo to be sick..also empty washing up bowl or bucket is handy too, along with packet of baby wipes and sanitiser wipe again for vom reason....

Agree with your daughter the time music will be turned off, and keep to it. Most will still hang about even after this time so it won't be an abrupt end or anything, but more of a lingering farewell which will go on for sometime..

Be ready to mop your kitchen/dining room floor at least three times the following day !
Good luck!