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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Phone in room at night?

56 replies

Felic23 · 08/04/2022 21:58

Who let's there young teenager keep there phone in their room at night? My Son is 13 and is adamant everyone is allowed their phones in room and all his friends talk at night and he's the only one not allowed.

OP posts:
Whyisitsodifficult · 08/04/2022 21:59

Nope,no,never! Two teens. Stand your ground on this one!

clarrylove · 08/04/2022 21:59

Nope

TeenTraumaTrials · 08/04/2022 22:00

I have no idea but looking at DS's WhatsApp notifications first thing some 13 year olds are messaging at all hours. DCs phones have always been in our room at night as it's too tempting for them otherwise. It's so bad for them to be on phones when they should be sleeping.

Pellewsmate · 08/04/2022 22:17

DS (18) is allowed his phone as he is no longer at school, works and is an adult. DS (13) is not allowed phone, laptop or TV and won't be for years, none of his friends are allowed phones in their rooms overnight.

DPotter · 08/04/2022 22:22

No
I don't have my phone in the bedroom at night

secretsqizzle · 08/04/2022 22:22

Yes.. 7 children. 3 mine and 4 dsc 50/50

All had their phones.. now all grown up and none appear damaged

  1. Degree in Psychology from Durham
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Muchtoomuchtodo · 08/04/2022 22:25

While I’m paying for their phones, they’re downstairs at night.

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/04/2022 22:30

I pay for my DC's phones.

DS1 who is 16 is a night owl and so has always had his phone at night.

DS2 is 12 and has never asked plus is an early bird so sleeps easily at night.

Both boys are doing well. DS1 will pass all of his GCSE's and is off to A Level in September. DS2 is doing well all round.

I really don't think there is any correlation between phones at night and achievement.

Just do what suits your DC

DistrictCommissioner · 08/04/2022 22:32

Plenty definitely do. When my DC’s phone spends the night in communal areas I can see masses of Snapchat messages etc are sent as late as 4am.

elaeocarpus · 08/04/2022 22:35

Yes, but i have family account and set the downtime/ app limits so it can't be used after certain time at night/ too early in morning . Found we were forgetting too often to remove it so this works

mortgagewisdomplease · 08/04/2022 22:39

Nope. Only exception is if we're staying in a hotel and I want them to have a phone with them in case of a problem in the night.

Ducksurprise · 08/04/2022 22:44

No, one of the things school asks for. Seeing the amount of their friends online at 4am it's not something I'm going to change. I think the majority do but whilst they we less understanding at 13 as they get older they do see where I'm coming from.

gogohm · 08/04/2022 22:53

Mine always had their phones in their rooms but I trusted them

Whyisitsodifficult · 08/04/2022 23:01

@gogohm

Mine always had their phones in their rooms but I trusted them
It’s not about trust it’s about necessity. They don’t need them at night!
ToooOldForThis · 08/04/2022 23:05

I take my 14 year old's away. I don't think she'd be up to anything awful but they need their sleep. And if I'm guilty at my age of scrolling through social media rather than getting to sleep then how is a 14 year old meant to do it? She has good intentions but i don't think she's mature enough to self regulate

Ducksurprise · 08/04/2022 23:07

@gogohm

Mine always had their phones in their rooms but I trusted them
They are addictive, teenagers are learning impulse control, most adults fail with impulse control on a phone. Agree with why they don't need them
worriedatthistime · 08/04/2022 23:07

Mine did but they were not allowed on them too late and they stuck to it so we had no reason to stop them, boys though so not so into text messaging etc

Wordlewobble · 08/04/2022 23:07

Until about 17 we got both our two into the habit of putting phones on charge in the living room when they go to bed.

Some kids are messing about on phones at all hours v late at night and v early morning think they need some down time. DS 18 now still prefers to put his phone on charge when he goes to bed.

worriedatthistime · 08/04/2022 23:08

@Whyisitsodifficult mine used them for alarms so did need then
They never went on them from when I said though so it was a non issue for us

worriedatthistime · 08/04/2022 23:09

@Ducksurprise well mine managed the impulse control perfectly fine

tunnocksreturns2019 · 08/04/2022 23:14

DS is nearly 13, his phone has to be downstairs by 8.30pm. He has adhd and needs more wind down time than some I guess though.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 08/04/2022 23:15

Nope. Our DC (14) have to give phone/iPad/games controller over to us at 10pm on school nights and midnight at weekends. The odd time the phone isn't switched off it pings at all hours - literally 3am! The school have said there's a real problem with students not being awake/alert enough and this doesn't surprise me at all. As someone else said, these devices are highly addictive. They need to give their brains a proper rest overnight.

HardRockOwl · 08/04/2022 23:18

My youngest is 16 at the end of this this year and I now allow his phone in his room overnight when it's the weekend or it's a half term/ holiday. When he has school, it comes out when he settles down for bed

So that's the compromise which I'm not entirely thrilled with but it's meeting him in the middle. This has only happened on the last few months

At 13, it was just a no.

whiteroseredrose · 08/04/2022 23:18

@gogohm

Mine always had their phones in their rooms but I trusted them
Same here.

Both grew up fine.

leccybill · 08/04/2022 23:46

12 year old's phone stays downstairs.
Not allowed Snapchat or TikTok.