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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What does this mean?

25 replies

oopswhatdoido · 02/03/2022 00:06

I check my just recently turned 13 year old boys phone every evening. He is aware I check and that was the deal when I got him the phone.

Anyway I read a message from a local girl, same age. They were just chatting and she said 'so are you active aswell...like us all (and a skull emoji)?'

And he replied 'yes active since last October'

She replied haha

And he sent a skull emoji

Then she said are you with someone!

And he said 'I'm hardly single if I'm active'

Please don't tell me they mean sexually active! I really don't think I'm naive...but him and his friends just hang out playing football! Or never even seen him talk to a girl!

Please tell me they mean kissing!

OP posts:
Tdcp · 02/03/2022 00:14

Sorry but it sounds like sexually active to me... He could be bluffing though!

Original poster
oopswhatdoido · 02/03/2022 00:15

He has to be bluffing if he means having sex. His voice hasn't even broke! I'm not able for this growing up..

OP posts:
anonymoooose · 02/03/2022 00:26

Yep sounds like sex talk to me but maybe he's just bluffing like the other person said and is trying to impress her.
Maybe the "talk" is needed if you haven't done so already.
Sending hugs.
My oldest is 21 and I went through something similar 🤗

Rollergirl11 · 02/03/2022 08:02

I just asked my almost 14 year old DS and that’s not talk he uses amongst his friend. He suggested that it might be something like smoking weed rather than being sexually active? I can’t see where the skull emoji fits in to being sexually active. 🤷‍♀️

ICouldBeAnyone · 02/03/2022 08:07

The skull emoji just means something is really funny as in “I’m dead” because they died laughing.

Emoji’s meanings have been totally changed by the teens these days!

xxxsuper · 02/03/2022 08:10

I don't think that's how teens talk about sex -'active since last October' sounds more like a potential gang than started having sex. The terminology is off for it to mean sex

GeneLovesJezebel · 02/03/2022 08:12

Sounds to me like he’s bluffing to save face.

WaterTheBasil · 02/03/2022 08:14

I don't think it sounds like sexually active either. I've got two teenagers. They wouldn't call sex 'active'.

Rollergirl11 · 02/03/2022 08:18

@WaterTheBasil yep I agree. I think it sounds more drug related. Asking someone if they’re sexually active isn’t a thing amongst my two teens year groups.

Oblomov22 · 02/03/2022 08:21

I'm intrigued. I have no idea what it means.

fridacakehole · 02/03/2022 08:29

I showed it to DD15 and 13 and they both immediately said sex from the way it was worded.

But could be something else if there is some kind of "in-joke" language between his crowd.

If it is sex, it still doesn't mean he really is! Could be bluffing!

If he knows you check his phone could you have an honest chat and ask?

HarlowHenry · 02/03/2022 08:33

I reckon she means something else by it but he has assumed sexual things and is bluffing.

merrymelodies · 02/03/2022 08:38

I think it's deliberately coded because he knows you check his chats.

Original poster
oopswhatdoido · 02/03/2022 12:42

I initially thought vaping but when I read about him 'obviously not being single if he's active' I thought it has to be something sexual. I did think it's a strange way to talk about sex (active) for children though.

There's no way he's having sex! Maybe it's what a PP said about him assuming she means sex and he's bluffing.

Last summer I read on his Snapchat something about regretting 'ending a relationship'! He had spend the summer playing football on the road with the other boys, not a girl to be seen, never mind 'having a relationship!'

OP posts:
Platinumclouds · 02/03/2022 18:05

The ‘relationship’ he regrets might not have been with a girl though.

sadpapercourtesan · 02/03/2022 18:08

I mean, he's almost certainly fibbing.

It does sound very like a conversation about being sexually active, though. It wouldn't be a bad time for a chat about safety and boundaries. If he knows you check his phone and will have read his messages, he probably won't be that surprised when you raise it. I would be gentle about it, though. You don't want to alienate him just when he's getting to the age when an open, friendly dialogue is going to be your biggest asset.

Andi2020 · 03/03/2022 21:33

I asked my 13yo ds today and he said it means they are with someone
Dd2 17 said it means see
Dd1 18 has never heard the phrase been used.

So I'd take it that ds age group use this phrase if they are seeing someone.

Original poster
oopswhatdoido · 04/03/2022 18:28

Meant to update, I found out the meaning! It means are you single! Thank god for that!

OP posts:
UnderTheSkyInsideTheSea · 04/03/2022 21:21

That doesn’t make sense in the context you directly quoted, surely?

And he said 'I'm hardly single if I'm active'

‘I’m hardly single if I’m single”…

m1shap3 · 04/03/2022 21:51

Yes that doesn't make sense

Susu49 · 04/03/2022 21:55

@oopswhatdoido

Meant to update, I found out the meaning! It means are you single! Thank god for that!
Aw.

I don't know what it actually means, but I think you've been had Grin

Hellocatshome · 04/03/2022 22:01

That doesn't make any sense. You will probably never find out unless your DS wants to tell you.

Branleuse · 04/03/2022 22:03

Theyre all pretending they are having sex

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/03/2022 22:36

@oopswhatdoido

Meant to update, I found out the meaning! It means are you single! Thank god for that!
How can it mean that?

You've said the messages said: "How can I be 💀 when I'm single?"

So you really believe he's saying "how can I be single when I'm single?" HmmGrin

someone is lying to you, OP.

Original poster
oopswhatdoido · 06/03/2022 22:54

Sorry I just saw all these replies, so I actually misread the message from him. He said 'I'm hardly active and not single!'

I asked a few people I know with older teens to ask them what it means and they all said active means single and looking.

I'm just glad it doesnt mean having sex. I know he's not anyway but would hate them to be even talking about it and pretending to be having it.

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