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Original poster

16yo dd upset by chosen text. Not sure how to handle this.

58 replies

Flamingoose · 22/02/2022 03:28

Her 'text' is a movie. It is age appropriate.

Some quotes from a review:
The teacher brutally abuses his students, and the realism of it is terrifying. Very intense.

Although a music-themed film, the film is extremely intense throughout as well as emotional. In particular, his treatment of his students is incredibly disturbing, to the point of outright cruelty, and will upset most viewers.

Some of the scenes in the film can be very intense and unexpected for sensitive viewers.

It also contains a lot of angry shouting, which she finds overwhelming.

She was in tears in the loo after watching it in class today and dreading having to watch it again. She says everyone else seems fine about it.

She is thinking she could email her teacher and explain that she's struggling with it. She is a high achieving student and generally gets straight As in English. She really doesn't want to irritate the (new) teacher or jeopardise her grade, but she also doesn't want to sit through this film multiple times this term.

Does she...
a) Just get on with it?
b) Ask her teacher for an alternative / ask to use the screenplay instead / tell her teacher she's struggling?
c) Not say anything, watch it at home no sound, subtitles on (less scary) and unfortunately be absent in English, but still submit good work?
d) another option

OP posts:
LovelyQuiche · 22/02/2022 03:52

If it’s age appropriate then I would be inclined to tell her to just get on with it. Sounds like she’s very very sensitive

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 22/02/2022 03:56

What film? What did the BBFC say about it? Can you link to the review? The only result on Google if I search extracts from your post is your post.

Nancydrawn · 22/02/2022 04:01

I assume this is Whiplash?

Is there any way for her to feel more separated from the text? Can she read a summary and watch it in chunks ahead of time?

urbanbuddha · 22/02/2022 04:01

b and c.
She should tell her teacher she's really struggling with it so the teacher is aware of her difficulties. They may not be totally unexpected.
Certainly watch it with subtitles initially. She'll be able to follow the basic plot. However if it's a music- themed film she's going to have to listen to it eventually as the sound seems intrinsic to the plot. That should open up a line of discussion.

Skinnymimi · 22/02/2022 04:02

If the movie is Whiplash, it is bloody traumatizing and I still think about it frequently after having watched it. I am no teenager. I wouldn’t want to watch it again. I would encourage her to say no .

RedRobin100 · 22/02/2022 04:04

Is it that one about the drummer?
How come
They’re watching a film over and over rather than a book/actual text (sorry I’m not familiar with current syllabus..)

Agree she sounds very sensitive - if it’s on a standardised school syllabus..
Maybe the more familiar with it she becomes / watches bits / reads about it etc the more she’ll Desensitise?

Monty27 · 22/02/2022 04:07

Well if it's on the curriculum it's to be studied. From an objective point of view maybe.
I was upset doing Romeo and Juliet but you know Lion king is really sad too. As is Bambi for young children and adults.
To Kill a Mockingbird and all sorts of literature for young adults teaches us more than just literature.
Gosh life's not just fairy stories.

Foldinthecheese · 22/02/2022 04:10

As a teacher, I would suggest she speak to her teacher and present the subtitle plan as an option. I think she’ll come across as more mature if she is proactive with her suggestions. If she doesn’t get a helpful response, I would encourage you to escalate to the head of department in a calm way that shows you’re both just looking for suggestions. Whiplash is a very effective film, but I certainly wouldn’t want to watch it repeatedly, nor do I think a pupil should be forced to view something that upset them so much.

Original poster
Flamingoose · 22/02/2022 04:14

Appreciate these replies.

Yes, that's the movie.
She's not normally oversensitive.

OP posts:
Foldinthecheese · 22/02/2022 04:15

Also, for those suggesting she is simply too sensitive, there really is no basis for comparison between the intensity of Whiplash and Romeo and Juliet or TKAM, having taught them both. There will almost certainly be a degree of choice in the study of this film. The teacher could likely very easily suggest an alternative option for this student.

Original poster
Flamingoose · 22/02/2022 04:17

FoldInTheCheese - thank you. Appreciate a teacher's view. I agree she needs to approach the teacher with facts and potential solutions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flamingoose · 22/02/2022 04:20

She's really not looking to make trouble or drama, she just genuinely dreads the idea of having to watch and re-watch something she is finding overwhelming and upsetting. As she texted me from school today. "Mum I can't possible cry in the loo after every English class it's impractical and not sustainable."

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 22/02/2022 04:47

Your DD may or may not be “Hypersensitive…” she may just have a very visual and/or aural imagination. Or, she may have been bullied when she was younger (maybe even by someone in a position of power like a teacher. It’s not unheard of. It happened to my kids, and it happened to me.) That could be triggering her. I have a very genuine fear of rodents stemming from being caught in a rat plague when I was very little. I opened a cupboard, and what (to me at the time) seemed like millions cat-sized bastards all poured like a waterfall onto me, screaming and scrabbling with their horrible little feet and tails, biting my arms and hands, which I had put up to protect my face. (Very remote country Australia…) Then of course, many, many antibiotic and vaccination booster injections to follow. Despite my mother writing my school a note about this, I was forced to sit through the movie of George Orwell’s 1984 (and it WAS 1984, btw) where they torture someone with a caged rat (also that character’s biggest phobia) buckled onto their face. The scene where the gate between the slavering, hungry rat and and the man’s face was lifted was just too much for me, and I passed out and fell off my chair.

Then again, the purpose of a movie soundtrack is to heighten the emotional experience. It sounds like it’s already a very traumatic story. Personally, I have to block my ears in every fight scene (especially when bones are broken), despite knowing full-well how these sounds are made in post-production.
I will also admit something else which at 50 is frankly, embarrassing - and was a leeetle difficult for me when I took my kids to Singapore Zoo. I am still freaked out by monkeys thanks to the Wizard of Oz… (OG version.)
Anyhow, rather than making a huge deal about this and making your daughter feel even more anxious, could you maybe give her some foam or wax earplugs to wear and see if that takes the edge off? She could pre-read the book or the synopsis of the movie so she knows what to expect. She could download as many “Cliff’s Notes” about the music and it’s symbolism and read all that prior to class and prepare herself beforehand, and then if she’s finding it too much, she could excuse herself and go to the bathroom.

user1481840227 · 22/02/2022 05:32

I've never seen the movie but just looked it up on common sense media to read about the content and the parent and teacher reviews and it sounds like your daughter is having a very extreme reaction to it.

Has she had traumatic experiences in the past that this is triggering?

The dilemma is kind of an interesting one considering the theme of the movie.
One of the parents reviews said The teacher appears to sincerely want his students to succeed but at the same time gets a perverse pleasure out of watching them distraught and in distress.......so if she spoke to the teacher about her distress wouldn't it be ironic if the teacher said tough you have to watch it!!

sashh · 22/02/2022 05:43

Having read the Wikipedia entry and IMBD Parents' guide I think this is a crazy film to be studied in school.

In an average class of 15 year olds there will be someone who has been in a car crash, someone who has been exposed to suicide and someone who is obsessive about being 'the best' and someone who self harms.

Is this an NQT?

Migrainesbythedozen · 22/02/2022 05:52

What do you mean text? Text message? Or text book? I don't understand.

MiddleParking · 22/02/2022 05:59

Great film but it is a bit much even as a fully grown adult. I think she should at least ask about another text as a starting point. The teacher would have to be pretty hard nosed not to realise that many elements of that film could be unmanageably upsetting for lots of people.

Fridafever · 22/02/2022 06:04

She’s managed to watch it once so I’d suggest her reaction will be less next time? I’ve seen it, it’s a great film while it’s pretty intense it wouldn’t have occurred to me that it couldn’t be shown to teenagers.

knittingaddict · 22/02/2022 06:04

@Monty27

Well if it's on the curriculum it's to be studied. From an objective point of view maybe. I was upset doing Romeo and Juliet but you know Lion king is really sad too. As is Bambi for young children and adults. To Kill a Mockingbird and all sorts of literature for young adults teaches us more than just literature. Gosh life's not just fairy stories.
Have you watched Whiplash?
SofiaAmes · 22/02/2022 06:06

Absolutely b. Please don't let anyone tell you or your daughter that she is "over sensitive." It's an absurd comment in this day and age with all that we know about mental health and the enduring effect of Trauma.
Lord of the Flies is a fairly standard book for middle school in the USA. At 58 I am still traumatized by having had to read it (forget about watching a movie) 45 years ago. When it was set by a teacher for my DD a few years ago, I went straight in and asked for an alternative. The teacher was very difficult over it, but we ended up getting something else set. My dd is a smart functioning young adult.

I am a normal well adjusted adult. We just don't do well with violence whether it's real or fictional. (I couldn't watch the Roadrunner cartoon as a child...)

Thoosa · 22/02/2022 06:10

@Migrainesbythedozen

What do you mean text? Text message? Or text book? I don't understand.
As in literary artefact, written work, textual analysis…
Migrainesbythedozen · 22/02/2022 06:13

@Thoosa But what do they do with it? Is it an assignment or essay they have to write? An oral presentation? Sorry, I'm not in the UK.

RampantIvy · 22/02/2022 06:24

It will be one of the books on the syllabus that they are studying for English literature GCSE @Migrainesbythedozen.

Loopytiles · 22/02/2022 06:24

I’d do B.

Not ‘oversensitive’ - or an indicator of trauma! - to have a strong, negative reaction to a film.

daisyjgrey · 22/02/2022 06:30

@Migrainesbythedozen

What do you mean text? Text message? Or text book? I don't understand.

Read the thread then, it becomes patently obvious.